JC's Quote Bank

[JuliusCaesar]

I put a variety of quotes in my sig; the sources range from How I Met Your Mother to Winston Churchill. This is mostly for my personal use and for the reference/enjoyment/entertainment/ridicule of other members, though feel free to comment or leave suggestions.

WE ALL DIE. THE GOAL ISN'T TO LIVE FOREVER.
THE GOAL IS TO CREATE SOMETHING THAT WILL.

~ Chuck Palahniuk

INSIDE EVERY CYNICAL PERSON, THERE IS A DISAPPOINTED IDEALIST.

~ George Carlin

AN INTELLECTUAL IS A PERSON WHO HAS FOUND ONE THING THAT'S MORE INTERESTING THAN SEX.

~ Aldous Huxley

WHEN I'M EIGHTY YEARS-OLD AND SITTING IN MY ROCKING CHAIR,
I'LL BE READING HARRY POTTER.
AND MY FAMILY WILL SAY TO ME 'AFTER ALL THIS TIME?'
AND I WILL SAY 'ALWAYS.'

~ Alan Rickman

WHO WILL LOVE YOU?
WHO WILL FIGHT?
WHO WILL FALL FAR BEHIND?

~ Bon Iver, "Skinny Love"

I KNEW ONE OF US HAD TO GO.

~ Oscar Wilde's last words, of the wallpaper in his Parisian hotel room

I AM THE LITERARY EQUIVALENT OF A BIGMAC AND FRIES.

~ Stephen King

PEOPLE HAVE THIS OBSESSION. THEY WANT YOU TO BE LIKE YOU WERE IN 1969.
THEY WANT YOU TO,  BECAUSE OTHERWISE THEIR YOUTH GOES WITH YOU.
IT'S VERY SELFISH, BUT IT'S UNDERSTANDABLE.

~ Mick Jagger

MAYBE IF YOU WEREN'T SO DISTRACTED BY SICK CHILDREN IN AFRICA,
YOU COULD'VE PUT A LITTLE MORE THOUGHT INTO WINDOWS VISTA.

~ Sheldon to Bill Gates, "The Big Bang Theory"

IF YOU'RE HAVIN' GIRL PROBLEMS, I FEEL BAD YOU, SON.
I GOT NINETY-NINE PROBLEMS, BUT A BITCH AIN'T ONE.

~ JAY-Z, "99 Problems"

EVERYONE'S SCARED ABOUT SOMETHING, YOU KNOW?

~ The Hurt Locker

IF YOU AREN'T IN OVER YOUR HEAD,
HOW DO YOU KNOW HOW TALL YOU ARE?

~ TS Eliot

IT IS A FAR, FAR BETTER THING THAT I DO, THAN I HAVE EVER DONE;
IT IS A FAR, FAR BETTER REST THAT I GO TO THAN I HAVE EVER KNOWN.

~ Sydney Carton, "A Tale of Two Cities" (Dickens)

MY NAME IS SUE.
HOW DO YOU DO?
NOW YOU GONNA DIE!

~ Johnny Cash, "A Boy Named Sue"

YOU SAY YOU WANT A REVOLUTION
WELL, YOU KNOW
WE ALL WANT TO CHANGE THE WORLD

~ The Beatles, "Revolution"

THE UNREAL IS MORE POWERFUL THAN THE REAL
BECAUSE IT'S ONLY INTANGIBLE IDEAS, BELIEFS, FANTASIES THAT LAST.
STONE CRUMBLES. WOOD ROTS. PEOPLE, WELL, THEY DIE.

~ Chuck Palahniuk, "Choke"

COHERENCE IN CONTRADICTION EXPRESSES THE FORCE OF A DESIRE.

~ Jacques Derrida, "Structure, Sign and Play in the Discourse of the Human Sciences"

AND THIS GIRL, WHO I MET
WHOSE PRIDE MAKES HER HARD TO FORGET
TOOK PITY ON ME, HORIZONTALLY
BUT MOST LIKELY BECAUSE OF MY BAND

~ Say Anything, "Woe"

I AIN'T THE SAME PERSON I WAS WHEN I BIT THAT GUY'S EAR OFF.

~ Mike Tyson

GO TO HEAVEN FOR THE CLIMATE, HELL FOR THE COMPANY.

~ Mark Twain

"I SHALL WEAR IT AS A BADGE OF HONOR."
"YOU'LL WEAR IT IN SILENCE, OR I'LL HONOR YOU AGAIN."

~ Exchange between Robert and Cersei after Robert smacks her.
George RR Martin, "A Game of Thrones"

I THINK FREUD'S FASCINATION WITH SEX
HAS TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT HE NEVER GETS ANY.

~ A Dangerous Method

HAVE YOU MET THE AWESOMES?
LILY, MARSHALL, THEIR SON, TOTALLY, AND THEIR DAUGHTER, FREAKING?

~ HIMYM

I BET YOUR MAMA WAS A TENT SHOW QUEEN
AND ALL HER BOYFRIENDS WERE SWEET SIXTEEN
I AIN'T NO SCHOOLBOY, BUT I KNOW WHAT I LIKE
YOU SHOULD'VE HEARD ME JUST AROUND MIDNIGHT

~ The Stones, "Brown Sugar"

I WANT TO TOP EXPECTATIONS.
I WANT TO BLOW YOU AWAY.

~ Quentin Tarantino

IF YOU END UP WITH A BORING, MISERABLE LIFE
BECAUSE YOU LISTENED TO YOUR MOM, YOUR TEACHER, YOUR PRIEST,
OR SOME GUY ON TELEVISION TELLING YOU TO DO YOUR SHIT,
THEN YOU DESERVE IT.

~ Frank Zappa

ALL THIS MONEY, DARLIN', WHAT ELSE IS THERE LEFT TO DO
BUT SMOKE AN' ENJOY MY PRESIDENTIAL VIEW
GOT A SWIMMIN' POOL IN MY LIVIN' ROOM
ON STAGE, INTERVIEWS, TONS OF SOUR, LET'S CONSUME

~ Wiz Khalifa

IT IS NOT THE CARES OF TODAY, BUT THE CARES OF TOMORROW, THAT WEIGH A MAN DOWN.

~ George MacDonald

AND I TURNED TWENTY-ONE IN PRISON DOING LIFE WITHOUT PAROLE
NO-ONE COULD STEER ME RIGHT, BUT MAMA TRIED, MAMA TRIED
MAMA TRIED TO RAISE ME BETTER, BUT HER PLEADING, I DENIED
THAT LEAVES ONLY ME TO BLAME 'CAUSE MAMA TRIED

~ Merle Haggard

THIS IS THE PRICE YOU PAY FOR LOSS OF CONTROL
THIS IS THE BREAK IN THE BEND
THIS IS THE CLOSEST OF CALLS
THIS IS THE REASON YOU'RE ALONE
THIS IS THE RISE AND THE FALL

~ Brand New, "I Believe You But My Tommy Gun Don't"

TIME CONTINUED TO PASS -- THE OLDEST TRICK IN THE WORLD,
AND MAYBE THE ONLY ONE THAT REALLY IS MAGIC.

"Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption"

MY ONLY HOPE IS THAT THE BIG LEBOWSKI KILLS ME BEFORE THE GERMANS CAN CUT MY DICK OFF.

The Dude, "The Big Lebowski"

I DON'T WANT TO LOOK BACK WHEN THE FUTURE WAS WRITTEN
AND KNOW WE KILLED OURSELVES WITH NUCLEAR FISSION AND STUPID DECISIONS
SHIT I'D RATHER AN ASTEROID DUE FOR COLLISION
THAN KNOW THE PLANET GOT FUCKED BY THE HUMAN CONDITION

Bliss n Eso, "The Sea is Rising"

SO YOU'RE SCARED AND YOU'RE THINKING
THAT MAYBE WE AIN'T THAT YOUNG ANYMORE
SHOW A LITTLE FAITH, THERE'S MAGIC IN THE NIGHT
YOU AIN'T A BEAUTY, BUT HEY YOU'RE ALRIGHT
OH AND THAT'S ALRIGHT WITH ME

Bruce Springsteen, "Thunder Road"

I DON'T WANT TO LET YOU GO
BUT IT HURTS MY HANDS TO HOLD THE ROPE

Brand New, "Sink"

MARILYN MONROE WASN'T HER REAL NAME, CHARLES MANSON WASN'T HIS REAL NAME,
AND NOW, I'M TAKING THAT TO BE MY REAL NAME.
BUT WHAT'S REAL? YOU CAN'T FIND THE TRUTH. YOU JUST PICK THE LIE YOU LIKE BEST.

~ Marilyn Manson

[JuliusCaesar]

(A break, so it's easier to navigate.)

IF IT'S ONE THING I CAN'T STAND,
IT'S PEOPLE GROVELING.

~ God, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"

I LIKE IT WHEN YOU CALL ME BIG POPPA.

~ Biggie, "Big Poppa"

BE SINCERE;
BE BRIEF;
BE SEATED.

~ F.D. Roosevelt

"I DON'T TRUST YOU"
SHUT UP, SLUT, CHEW UP THIS MUSHROOM
THIS WILL HELP YOU GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR ROOTS
WE'LL GET BAREFOOT, BUTT NAKED, AND RUN IN THE WOODS

~ Eminem, "My Fault"

HERE WE ARE, TRAPPED IN THE AMBER OF THE MOMENT.
THERE IS NO WHY.

~ Kurt Vonnegut

FOR ME, IT IS FAR BETTER TO GRASP THE UNIVERSE AS IT REALLY IS THAN TO PERSIST IN DELUSION,
HOWEVER SATISFYING AND REASSURING.

~ Carl Sagan

I WILL NOT LIE TO YOU
BUT I DEFINITELY ONLY GAVE YOU HALF THE TRUTH

~ Kaiser Chiefs, "Half the Truth"

OF ALL THE WORDS OF MICE AND MEN, THE SADDEST ARE "IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN."

~ Kurt Vonnegut

MAY I KISS YOU THEN? ON THIS MISERABLE PAPER?
I MIGHT AS WELL OPEN THE WINDOW AND KISS THE NIGHT AIR.

~ Franz Kafka

THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD IS LOVE.
UNDER THE BURDEN OF SOLITUDE, UNDER THE BURDEN OF DISSATISFACTION.

~ Allen Ginsberg

TO LIVE IS THE RAREST THING IN THE WORLD.
MOST PEOPLE EXIST, THAT IS ALL.

~ Oscar Wilde

HOW AWFUL FOR YOU!
BY THE LOOKS OF IT, YOU'VE DEVELOPED A SOUL.

~ Yevgeny Zamyatin, "We"

WE PREFER TO DO THINGS COMFORTABLY.
BUT I DON'T WANT COMFORT. I WANT GOD, I WANT POETRY, I WANT REAL DANGER,
I WANT FREEDOM, I WANT GOODNESS. I WANT SIN.
IN FACT, YOU'RE CLAIMING THE RIGHT TO BE UNHAPPY.
ALL RIGHT THEN. I'M CLAIMING THE RIGHT TO BE UNHAPPY.

~ Aldous Huxley, "Brave New World"

I HAVE LONG KNOWN THAT IT IS GOD'S PLAN
FOR ME TO SPEND A LITTLE TIME WITH EACH OF THE MOST STUPID PEOPLE ON EARTH.

~ Bill Bryson, "A Walk in the Woods"

I DON'T BELIEVE IN GUILTY PLEASURES, YOU KNOW.
YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO LIKE WHAT YOU LIKE.
IF YOU LIKE A FUCKING KE$HA SONG, LISTEN TO FUCKING KE$HA.

~ Dave Grohl

A MOMENT WAS THE MOST YOU COULD EVER EXPECT FROM PERFECTION.

~ Chuck Palahniuk, "Fight Club"

AND LET'S JUST CLARIFY THAT IT'S ONE COCK, PLEASE.
NOT COCK AS A SINGULAR COLLECTIVE.

~ Ellipsis of Elliquiy

THE QUIET CAN SCRAPE ALL THE CALM FROM YOUR BONES
BUT MAYBE IT SHOULD, MAYBE WE NEED TO BE HOLLOWED
TO GET UP AND GROW, AND STOP FUCKING AROUND

~ Kevin Devine, "Cotton Crush"

LET'S JUST HOPE I'M NEVER IN A SITUATION WHERE RUNNING IS THE ONLY OPTION.

~ Ellipsis of Elliquiy, "Two Treatises on Survival: Why IDGAF"

ALL GOD DOES IS WATCH US AND KILL US WHEN WE GET BORING.
WE MUST NEVER, EVER BE BORING.

~ Chuck Palahniuk

WELL, JESUS CHRIST, I'M NOT SCARED TO DIE
BUT I'M A LITTLE BIT SCARED OF WHAT COMES AFTER

~ Brand New

“Alice came to a fork in the road. 'Which road do I take?' she asked.
'Where do you want to go?' responded the Cheshire Cat.
'I don't know,' Alice answered.
'Then,' said the Cat, 'it doesn't matter.'"

~ Lewis Carroll

I PREFER A PLEASANT VICE TO AN ANNOYING VIRTUE.

~ Moliere

I DON'T HAVE PET PEEVES.
I HAVE MAJOR PSYCHOTIC FUCKING HATREDS.

~ George Carlin

[Ellipsis]

I kept your format since it makes everything look so clean. Hope you don't mind the suggestions. I had to comb through my high school, literary prowess.

WRITE DRUNK; EDIT SOBER.

~ Ernest Hemingway

CIVILIZATION BEGINS WITH DISTILLATION.

~ William Faulkner

HOW EMBARRASSING TO BE HUMAN.

~ Kurt Vonnegut

THE APPROPRIATE RESPONSE TO REALITY IS TO GO INSANE.

~ Phillip K. Dick

CURIOSITY IS INSUBORDINATION IN ITS PUREST FORM.

~ Vladimir Nabokov

I DON'T EXACTLY KNOW WHAT I MEAN BY THAT,
BUT I MEAN IT.

~ J.D. Salinger

[JuliusCaesar]

NEVER SAY GOODBYE BECAUSE SAYING GOODBYE MEANS GOING AWAY
AND GOING AWAY MEANS FORGETTING

~ JM Barrie

"I HAVE A TENDER SPOT IN MY HEART FOR CRIPPLES AND BASTARDS AND BROKEN THINGS."

ANYTHING IS A WASTE OF TIME UNLESS YOU ARE FUCKING WELL OR CREATING WELL OR GETTING WELL
OR LOOMING TOWARDS SOME KIND OF PHANTOM-LOVE-HAPPINESS

~ Charles Bukowski

IMAGINATION IS INTELLIGENCE WITH AN ERECTION.

~ Victor Hugo