17 JANUARY 2012
the story thus far....
You'll have to forgive me if the following feels rather stiff and comes out sounding as though I'm reciting it verbatim et literatim, I have had to recount the following so often that I have become desensitised to it. I've managed to boil it down to the barest facts, there is more to add but to get the ball rolling I'll start with my usual monologue when reciting events.
It was on one fateful evening, March 2010, whilst on a motorbike, although in this instance I was riding pillion, that life as I knew it was to be irrevocably changed forever. Not five minutes from home on our way to the video store when a car hit us from the side. My fiancÚ, a man I had lovingly shared my life with for seven years, died on impact and I was left with catastrophic injuries.
- two vertebrae, the C5
- left scapula/shoulder blade.
- left clavicle/collar bone.
- about 14 ribs or so.
- right tibial plateau/shin bone below the knee.
Any cartilege I have left in either of my knees is just wishful thinking on my part.
I had a hematoma the size of a large watermelon on my right thigh. All the muscle, tendons, sinew where ripped from the bone and just floating around. Considering I wasn't wearing leathers, in fact all I was wearing was a singlet and and some thin pants (plus helmet). I had a lot of exposed skin going on but I didn't loose as much at all. What was lost they replaced and now you can even tell where I old skin starts and where the new skin begins.
I was lucky if the break in the C5 had gone all the way through I would have been left a quadriplegic. The C5 is roughly where your neck meets your shoulders just to give you an idea. The T1 is a bit lower. But basically you don't really want to mess with anything up in your spinal cord
The piece de resistance.... I lost 10cm from my right femur... like I mean clean gone nothing left...
What they did next is pretty amazing, it's only the second time they had preformed this surgery and because of my age and overall good health I was an ideal candidate to test this procedure out on. This would be just one surgery out of many which is why I suppose they needed a fit healthy candidate so they could withstand the trials ahead....
To date I have had about 12 major surgeries as well as a few other minor procedures. There will be more.
Anyway what they did was remove my left fibula/lateral calf bone, they also harvested some bone my right hip, and use that in conjunction with a cadaver bone to rebuild my femur. All soundly reinforced with a hefty amount of titanium as you could well imagine. I can't believe I actually managed to distill what took multiple teams of surgeons nearly 15 hours to do down into such a simplified sentence. I feel like I am doing them an injustice. Just to clarify that the 15 hours was for just for one surgery.
Personally I don't feel that the following is very graphic but I have developed a high tolerance for viewing graphic material so just in case.....
[WARNING THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS MEDICAL IMAGES]
THE FOLLOWING IMAGES MAY NOT BE COPIED, DUPILCATED IN ANY MANY WHATSOEVER WITHOUT MY EXPRESS PERMISSION.
I ASSERT OWNERSHIP OVER THESE IMAGES.
I am surprised that it was so hard to post these images. It has more to do with with accepting and letting go than anything else. I think I need to step back now and just allow myself to process the torrent of freely flowing emotions .
"The deeper sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. "
"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your
laughter rises was oftentime filled with your tears...
When you are joyous, look deep into
your heart and you shall find it is only
that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in
your heart, and you shall see that in truth
you are weeping for that which has been
The Prophet - Khalil Gibran