You are either not logged in or not registered with our community. Click here to register.
 
December 06, 2016, 02:08:23 PM

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

Login with username, password and session length

Click here if you are having problems.
Default Wide Screen Beige Lilac Rainbow Black & Blue October Send us your theme!

Hark!  The Herald!
Holiday Issue 2016

Wiki Blogs Dicebot

Author Topic: Random Snippets of Poetry  (Read 698 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Kay TanaTopic starter

Random Snippets of Poetry
« on: October 07, 2011, 08:57:06 PM »
Every so often I feel the need to put prose to paper so I think I'll do it here. More at a later date.

Rebirth from Solitude

Once more i have to stand all alone.

In an empty room to make my own.

Everyone has gone and left me.

I fear that i will never break free.

Lost in solitude left to my grim fate.

Never gonna rise to take that bait.

Depression may leave a wicked burn.

Yet the wheel of time will always turn.

Maybe a death by cleansing fire.

Will eventually set free this sinful liar.

Just for now i will have to say goodbye.

Till the angels scream and the devils cry.

-Kay Tana

Offline Kay TanaTopic starter

Re: Random Snippets of Poetry
« Reply #1 on: October 08, 2011, 11:31:38 PM »
One of my much older ones is over on gaia and I'll transfer it soon, but for now here is a link. http://gaiaonline.com/arena/writing/poetry-and-lyrics/vote/?entry_id=100019782

Offline Kay TanaTopic starter

Re: Random Snippets of Poetry
« Reply #2 on: October 09, 2011, 04:36:41 PM »
Here it is.

Ode to a Spark

A spark in the dark is what made us what we are today. Such a small thing that changed the lives of man from being cold at night and eating raw meat.

A spark, like a ripple, starts a roaring wave of flame that washes over anything in its path.

A spark is the bringer of life; for without it who could live in Siberia or places as such. A spark is the bringer of death; for without it no buildings would burn to the ground.

A spark is like a new flowering bud that with love and care will blossom into a beautiful, if wild, brilliance.

A spark is like a miniature sun that burns brightly and attracts the eye, even though to stare into its depths would do terror to your eyes.

A spark is like a new love that burns hotly at first, but if not renewed will burn out and leave the place where it was seem colder than before it was ever brought to life.

A spark is like a snowflake that floats upon the wind and burns the tongue of any who hold it out.


Offline Stargate525

Re: Random Snippets of Poetry
« Reply #3 on: October 27, 2011, 05:32:27 PM »
Hey Kay.

I like them both, though I've never been a huge fan of the depressing and grim poetics. I like the idea behind 'Ode to a Spark,' though. I think it might be strengthened if you try using metaphors instead of similes (remove 'like') and remove some of the explanation. Let us do some thinking; right now I think you over explain it. And you have some fantastic comparisons there to work off of.

Offline Kay TanaTopic starter

Re: Random Snippets of Poetry
« Reply #4 on: October 27, 2011, 10:23:10 PM »
Thanks for the critique. The first one was an off the cuff kinda thing and the Ode I wrote about seven years ago. I should put up more when I get time.

Offline Stargate525

Re: Random Snippets of Poetry
« Reply #5 on: October 27, 2011, 10:27:02 PM »
Thanks for the critique. The first one was an off the cuff kinda thing and the Ode I wrote about seven years ago. I should put up more when I get time.
You're quite welcome. I just hope that it was useful.