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Author Topic: Birth of The Raven (comments are welcome)  (Read 899 times)

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Offline RavenhawkTopic starter

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Birth of The Raven (comments are welcome)
« on: August 29, 2011, 03:19:48 PM »
This is something I wrote a few weeks ago. It is set in the D&D world of Eberron, about ten years after the great war. I am not sure if I will continue it (just a vague idea for the source of a campaign) but comments and constructive criticism is welcome

Khelden walked down the passageway of the nearly completed airship after exploring it from it’s beak like nose all the way aft to it’s tail, ensuring that it had been assembled correctly, just as his companion was outside, doing the same with the ritual circle. As he neared the bridge, he saw five men walk up the boarding ramp, the man in the lead a gnome messenger with an ironwood case chained to his wrist, escorted by four obvious bodygaurds.

“Khelden d’Cannith?” the gnome asked.

“Yes, that’s me. I assume you have the shard?”

“I do, if you have the papers and the key.”

“Follow me then,” Khelden instructed as he went past them up the steps and onto the bridge. Aproaching the wood and mithral throne bolted to a turn table at the front of the bridge, he lifted the seat where he pulled out a scroll tube with a piece of blue quartz attached to it. Detaching the quartz, he handed the scroll case to the gnome, who handed a similar case to Khelden. As the gnome read over the scrolls he had been handed, Khelden invoked a spell that caused the marks at the bottom of his scrolls to glow a redish gold, signifying the authenticity of the scroll and it’s bearer.

The gnome grunted in satisfaction. “Everything seems to be in order here. Now, if you please,” he added, offering his manacled wrist. As Khelden touched the quartz to the manacle, and a golden corona surounded the manacle for a moment before falling away from the gnomes wrist.

Setting the case on the map table at the aft end of the compartment, the gnome pulled out another piece of quartz, and both he and Khelden touched the case. With another corona, this one gold and blue, the cases multiple clasps fell open, and Khelden opened the case to reveal the enspelled dragonshard nestled inside. Gingerly holding it in his hands, he carried it to the still open compartment on the throne, and settled it into the waiting brackets. As he tightened the final bracket, he could feel the elemental reaching out, and the craft trembled with the potential now housed within the pilots helm.

“Yes, it appears all is in order here,” Khelden said, and then signed the couriers receipt. “Thank you for your time good man.”

“You are most welcome, airwright, and good fortune to your endeavor.”


Hours later, Kelden sat on the pilots seat, now facing forward, and looked through the steelglass windscreen at his companion, Thelene who stood with nineteen others on the circle in which the bird like airship rested on its ten foot talons and the, hopefully, temporary support scaffolding. Sharing hopefull smiles between themselves, Thelene signaled to the others on the circle to begin. Together, the twenty artificers and elementelists began chanting their respective spells or infusements, weaving together the energies to completely bind the elemental contained within the shard to the body of the ship. Meanwhile Khelden concentrated on the control infusements built into the chair, activating them one by one as the elemental was gradually allowed to expand it’s awareness to the ship, a silver glow expanding along it’s hull as lightning crackled along it’s mithral veins.

With a shudder the talons suddenly flexed, scraping long gouges into the stone of the construction yards floor. With a rapidly fading wobbliness, the bird like construct stood on it’s own feet, the scaffolding falling to the ground, it’s wings stretching as it found it’s balance. With a sudden roar, the air turbines in the hull just beneath the wings roared to life briefly then died as Khelden’s will suppressed the elemental.

Gradually the construct stilled itself, settling into a stance that had the deck level and at the right height for the boarding ramp. After lowering the ramp, Khelden walked down it and received a bottle of champagne from Thelene.

“Ladies and Gentlemen,” he proclaimed to the smiling crowd. “I give you The Raven. Long may she soar and claim the clouds as her own.” With that, he smashed the bottle against the hull over his head.

Offline Styx26

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Re: Birth of The Raven (comments are welcome)
« Reply #1 on: January 23, 2012, 02:07:28 AM »
It is very fine, and an interesting concept! Elements and magic to make flying machines (if they're called machines). I am not familiar with D&D as a game, but I have read some of the stories... this would be a great beginning to one of those stories.