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Author Topic: Tell me if this is good or not?  (Read 727 times)

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Offline frogman216Topic starter

Tell me if this is good or not?
« on: August 14, 2011, 01:29:07 AM »
I wanna start off saying that I wrote this after listening to a band while at a concert. not sure on whom. so please don't think I wanna hurt myself.

 I am in my own personal hell. I just want the pain to stop. So I plung myself down to make myself feel numb. As I bring the solution to my end closer, your face comes into view and I want it to go away even more.

As the means is drawn across, the only thought that is relavent to  my mind is how much pain you have caused me and I want it to be over. To no longer feel it or anything ever again.

I use to draw my strength from the knowledge that you were always there cheering me on and encouraging me to be a better person, but now that you have left there is a  hole in my heart that can not be repaired.

There are no words that can be placed to say what I am feeling.

As the crimson essence slowly starts to flow down my arms and dripps off my fingers, I begin to play with it  smearing it on the counter like finger paint.

As I start to slowly fade as the beauty of what was once my life  slowly dripps out of me with every beat of my broken heart. Your voice calls out to me to not do it. I just simply ignore saying I know better and you can no longer tell me what to do.

With my last few moments of life exiting from me I smear three little words on the mirror hoping that it will bring you as much pain as you have brought to me.

It says I LOVE YOU!!!

Offline belatris

Re: Tell me if this is good or not?
« Reply #1 on: August 30, 2011, 12:15:02 PM »
Well, let me start with what someone once told me ... Art is about personal reflection. I read your work, and it makes me feel or think something. That personal experiance is really what art is all about. It's also important to note that what you intend is not always what comes across.

That said, the person in question was talking about painting, but I think the idea holds true to all forms of art... including writing.

That said, I can say that it was a little bit on the depressing side ... the story conjured images of someone who clearly cares deeply about another person, yet the feelings are not returned.

I did enjoy reading it, despite the fact that I normally don't enjoy things that talk about suicide and death. So on that note alone, I'd say it's "good", at least from my point of view. I certainly would encourage you to write me, the fact that you decided to share this tells me that you enjoy it.