Would you like me if I.....

[Captain Maltese]

I would like chasing you, your chain curled around my fist like a glittering brass knuckle.

Would you like me if I punished you for your impunity with my hands until your quivering buttocks shone red with heat?

[Mimetisme]

Leaving your mark on me, you're such a gentleman. ·Winks·


Would you like if I screamed at a frequency that I caused glass to crack?

[willow]

Don't do that I already have hearing problems

Would u like me if I still liked playing video games

[Trigon]

Of course! I still like playing video games.

Would you like me if I walked into Mordor?

[Captain Maltese]

Cannot simply walk Mordor.

[Trigon]

Well, I'm doing it anyway 

Would you like me if I walked up the down escalator?

[Beguile's Mistress]

I'd think it was hilarious and I'd watch while you did it.

Would you like me if I hid the mustard?

[dblkrose]

Only if you left me playful clues for me to find it.

Would you care If I cover the bed in rose petals.

[Beguile's Mistress]

That would make me smile and I'd love it if they were pink and white, please.

Would you be pleased to find coffee and a Danish on waking every morning?

[dblkrose]

Give me that in the morning... I'll be your slave for the rest of the day.

Would you like me if I read your favorite book to you to put you to sleep.

[Trigon]

Of course!

Would you like me if I cut other people off in traffic?

[Captain Maltese]

I'd be concerned. I have done this a few times myself and I have an ugly feeling that if I do this again any time soon there will be an accident. I can live with dying in an accident. Not sure I can live with killing someone else that way. How about you?

Would you like me if I could see things which were going to happen?

[Trigon]

Only if they were good things 

Would you like me if I lived off the land?

[Beguile's Mistress]

There is nothing wrong with living off the land as long as you can handle it properly.

Would you like me if knitted you a sweater?

[Despairs]

Yes. Would you like me if I taught you how to fix computer problems?

[Captain Maltese]

I'm a former senior computer engineer. Among other things. That said, there's always more to learn.

Would you like me if I suggested an evening of beer and IED prototype construction, just for fun?

[Lapine]

If I could trade the beer for some wine and just watch

Would you like me if I suggested a different activity...just for fun?

[Captain Maltese]

Make mine red, and I am in. As for fun..... hm, lots of things suggesting themselves right away. Could be a busy, fun evening indeed.

Would you like me if I am blonder than you?

[Lapine]

Certainly!  It's just hair; no biggie.

Would you like me if my hair was shorter than yours?

[Captain Maltese]

I can see beauty even in a shaved head so why not? I care more for the look in the eyes of the bearer as I caress what is there, than I spend with the metering band.

Would you like me if I found pleasure in grooming your hair with a hairbrush?

[Lapine]

Mais, oui...grooming is very sensual.

Would you like me if I read aloud to you from your favorite book?

[Captain Maltese]

Being read for can be very interesting, but it depends of course on the book - and on the reader. Give me Shakespeare or Jules Verne with a good diction and our evening schedule is full. Something with a goodlooking guy in a doctor's coat and a simpering woman in his arms on the front cover, and I will either escape like a stepped-on cat or slit my veins.

Would you like me if I wanted to read you classic poems by authors like Burns, Frost and Coleridge?

[Lapine]

I have great respect for books in general, but a book like that...I'd beat you to the door!

Yes, especially if you did the Scottish accent for Burns.

Would you like me if I cut us some pungent cheese with crackers to go with our wine and poetry?

[Captain Maltese]

I have had some fun with impersonating accents since English is not my first language; Sean Connery is something of a specialty.To quote Monty Python: "If it's nae Scottish.... its crap!" I am also a fan of cheeses, including the ones that makes steel surfaces crackle.

Would you like me if I obsessed a little over the wine?

[Lapine]

Of course; I don't know much about it except that I know what I like.

Would you like me if I laid my head in your lap while you read to me?