Hitchhikers Guide to the Glaxay!!!!
I'm the key figure in an on-going government charade, the plot to conceal the truth about the existence of extraterrestrials. (The bartender looks up at the last word, stops wiping down the bar, he now has her full attention.) It's a global conspiracy, actually, with key players in the highest levels of power, that reaches down into the lives of every man, woman, and child on this planet. (he laughs) So, of course, no one believes me. I'm an annoyance to my superiors, a joke to my peers. They call me Spooky. Spooky Mulder, whose sister was abducted by aliens when he was just a kid and who now chases after little green men with a badge and a gun, shouting to the heavens or to anyone who will listen that the fix is in, that the sky is falling and when it hits it's gonna be the shit-storm of all time.