Once upon a time, a woman was eating in a fancy restaurant, when the cute young waiter brought her a bowl of soup. It smelled delicious, and she wanted to dig right in.. but she had no soup spoon!
Before the waiter could leave, she stopped him. "Excuse me.. I need a soup spoon." she said, batting her eyelashes at him.
The waiter grinned at his pretty customer, and reached into the inner pocket of his jacket. He pulled out a perfectly polished soup spoon, and set it on her table. "There you are, ma'am. Enjoy your soup."
Pleased yet puzzled, the lady held up a hand. "Wait.. you keep a soup spoon in your pocket? Why do you do that?" she asked.
Smiling, the waiter straightened his tie, and replied, "We do everything we can to save time here, ma'am. I always carry a soup spoon in my jacket pocket because it's the one piece of cutlery that the bus boys most often forget to put back out. That way, I don't have to go back and get you one.."
Impressed, the lady picks up the spoon, and tastes the soup. "Mmm, this is delicious. So, tell me.." she said flirtaciously, "What else do you do around here to save time?"
The waiter looks around to his other tables, to see if he has the time to flirt.. and is pleased to see that he does. "Well, for one.. I never wash my hands in the bathroom."
She paled, and looked at her soup in panic. He laughed, and shook his head. "No, no... it's ok. There's nothing gross here.. to tell you a secret, before the start of every shift, I tie a string around my penis. When I need to pee, I pull down my zipper, and pull out the string. That way, my hands stay clean, and I don't have to wash them. Saves me valuable time. All the waiters here do it."
She looks at his crotch, then back at his face, grinning slowly. But then a shadow crosses her face, as something occurs to her. She has another big spoonful of soup, then asks him puzzledly.. "So, how do you get your thing back IN your pants, then.. another string?"
He shakes his head. "Well, I don' know about the other guys, but I just use the spoon.."