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Author Topic: Looking for a "Guardian Angel"  (Read 6944 times)

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Offline ClockworkShadow

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Re: Looking for a "Guardian Angel"
« Reply #50 on: June 25, 2011, 01:38:47 PM »
Mind you, it's just a suggestion.  You don't have to edit it if you don't want to.

I did offer to help with your grammar, though.  (And you have an excellent grasp of spelling already).

Offline Laz

Re: Looking for a "Guardian Angel"
« Reply #51 on: June 25, 2011, 10:44:47 PM »
The character itself as a whole, is a wondrous treat in a supernatural world. however your physical description, needs more details to carve out the extent of what she looks like, you can even look for a picture that would best describe her and post it here. the other details are pretty much concise and self explanatory. You should reference clockwork's revised version of your character sheet, to help you out on some English grammars and tweaks in future work.

but your creativity and ideas are no less than anyone here. excellent.

Offline ClockworkShadow

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Re: Looking for a "Guardian Angel"
« Reply #52 on: June 25, 2011, 10:50:22 PM »
The character itself as a whole, is a wondrous treat in a supernatural world. however your physical description, needs more details to carve out the extent of what she looks like, you can even look for a picture that would best describe her and post it here. the other details are pretty much concise and self explanatory. You should reference clockwork's revised version of your character sheet, to help you out on some English grammars and tweaks in future work.

but your creativity and ideas are no less than anyone here. excellent.

Agreed, 200% <3

Offline Aikochan

Re: Looking for a "Guardian Angel"
« Reply #53 on: June 26, 2011, 03:03:41 AM »
can  I get in on this? If you got enough already thats fine.

Offline Aikochan

Re: Looking for a "Guardian Angel"
« Reply #54 on: June 26, 2011, 03:05:48 AM »
I was trying to set up a whitewolf game thing and found out it started over here lol I love white wolf so let me know then.

Offline Scarlet SinTopic starter

Re: Looking for a "Guardian Angel"
« Reply #55 on: June 26, 2011, 06:55:26 AM »
I have to take a look at those grammar things, though I'm a bit lost with the correcting. But I will take a look. And that photo is a good idea. :)

Offline Laz

Re: Looking for a "Guardian Angel"
« Reply #56 on: June 26, 2011, 07:47:15 AM »
I was trying to set up a whitewolf game thing and found out it started over here lol I love white wolf so let me know then.

when did this story became a white wolf topic? I dont even know what the hell that is. Please read up the previous posts thoroughly Aiko before trying to join what you think we are planning on roleplaying here. Thank you.

Offline ClockworkShadow

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Re: Looking for a "Guardian Angel"
« Reply #57 on: June 26, 2011, 07:48:08 AM »
@Aiko I know you want to feel helpful, but I don't actually think there are any elements of white wolf in this thread.

And I think Laz and Scarlet are trying to do a 1:1, to break her in gently?

@Laz Feel free to tell me to buzz off if I'm speaking out of turn or standing on your toes, btw.  I mean, it's not like I don't have other things to keep me occupied. <3

Offline Laz

Re: Looking for a "Guardian Angel"
« Reply #58 on: June 26, 2011, 08:02:41 AM »
People giving out helpful hints for Scarlet is no problem for me. Whatever Scarlet decides, its still her thread.

Offline Scarlet SinTopic starter

Re: Looking for a "Guardian Angel"
« Reply #59 on: June 26, 2011, 08:08:18 AM »


Name: Anastazia, Cara
Last Name: De Assis

Gender:
Female
Age: 19
Race: European

Powers: This young lady is incredibly talented with animals. She has lived with them all of her life. She has kept a lively home with a menagerie of animals: dogs, cats, horses, rats, and bunnies, to name a few. Her connection with these, and other, animals has always been perfect; it seems like she communicates with them. Also she is very agile and flexible; precisely aware every little muscle of her body. This is a result of 15 years of gymnastics and dance, and 12 years of horseback riding.

Personality:
Anastazia has a very lively personality. (Her fiery nature may be attributed to her Spaniard heritage.) With her friends and animals she lives out on her own land. She is a kind and friendly girl with an open and brave heart. However, she is not an individual who tolerates provocation lightly and is known to have a short temper.

Description:
Anastazia hates her first name, and everyone, except her parents, calls her Cara. She tends to get rather mad if anyone else calls her by her birth name.

Her long, black hair is strong evidence of her roots in Spain. Chocolate-brown eyes and almost perfectly heart shaped face would make any guy to fall on his knees. But this 180 cm tall angel has already given her heart away.

Recent History: Anastazia moved to Belladonna Acres with her parents because of grandmother Lucia, who recently had a heart attack. Anastazia’s mother has to take care of the elderly women full time. Anastazia’s father is a businessman so he isn't around much.

Anastazia is a bit sad because of the moving, and her relationship did not survive the process. She is a beautiful girl however, so she hopes that she will not be alone for long. So far, she has only been disappointed by her previous beaus. Why is that? Simply because of her Arabian stallion Achilles and golden retriever Xenon - animals are her life. Jealousy is a powerful motive, and most guys do not understand the power and beauty of her relationships with them. 

Likes: Horses, dogs, music, movies
Dislikes: Football players and selfish people
Hobbies: Horseback riding, dancing, writing, gymnastics

---------
So, I tried to correct my writing. (Thank you Clockwork. <3) I also found a picture that goes quite well with the one I have in my head, although she doesn't have black hair. :-)

Oh, and Clock: If you want to be around, it is more than OK. :-)

Offline ClockworkShadow

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Re: Looking for a "Guardian Angel"
« Reply #60 on: June 26, 2011, 08:23:25 AM »
Delightful, Scarlet!  Well done!

Quote
She has lived with them all of her life. She has kept a lively home with a menagerie of animals: dogs, cats, horses, rats, and bunnies, to name a few.
She has lived with them all of her life, and keeps a lively home with a menagerie of: dogs, cats, horses, rats, and bunnies, to name a few.

Quote
Chocolate-brown eyes and almost perfectly heart shaped face would make any guy to fall on his knees.
Her chocolate-brown eyes and an almost-perfectly heart-shaped face would make any guy fall down to his knees.

Quote
Anastazia moved to Belladonna Acres with her parents because of grandmother Lucia, who recently had a heart attack. Anastazia’s mother has to take care of the elderly women full time. Anastazia’s father is a businessman so he isn't around much.
Anastazia moved to Belladonna Acres, with her parents, because of Grandmother Lucia, who recently had a heart attack. Anastazia’s mother has to take care of the elderly woman full time. Anastazia’s father is a businessman, and so he isn't around much.
Note: women is plural for woman


--

So much better, Scarlet!  You're doing fantastic!  The picture is beautiful, alhough it is awful large, and blurry.

Offline Scarlet SinTopic starter

Re: Looking for a "Guardian Angel"
« Reply #61 on: June 26, 2011, 08:50:35 AM »
Thanks, though I don't think I'm doing that good. I just followed your advices. And yeah, I not the pic is blurry, but I couldn't help it. :/

(By the way: it seems that I desperately need a beta-reader to go through my writings and spot the errors before publication. Just like I do when I write fan fiction in Finnish. :-) But I don't know who would do it and how.)

Offline ClockworkShadow

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Re: Looking for a "Guardian Angel"
« Reply #62 on: June 26, 2011, 08:55:16 AM »
anyone with a decent grasp of grammar can help proof your writing if you ask around for it.  I'm sure there's a whole bunch of people around here that could help you out with that.

And don't be afraid to post something with errors.  The whole point of learning is to see it first hand, and the way forums allow you to use quotes in a before/after fashion can be invaluable.

Offline Scarlet SinTopic starter

Re: Looking for a "Guardian Angel"
« Reply #63 on: June 26, 2011, 09:06:54 AM »
I'm sure that there are many who would help if I just ask but... I'm so shy, that it is a bit difficult. :/

Offline ClockworkShadow

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Re: Looking for a "Guardian Angel"
« Reply #64 on: June 26, 2011, 09:15:33 AM »
Well you've managed to lasso Laz and I , so you're making progress!  Take heart, you'll get there. :)

Offline Scarlet SinTopic starter

Re: Looking for a "Guardian Angel"
« Reply #65 on: June 26, 2011, 09:26:21 AM »
Haha, I'm not so sure about that, but maybe I am making a progress then. ;)

Offline ClockworkShadow

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Re: Looking for a "Guardian Angel"
« Reply #66 on: June 26, 2011, 09:29:13 AM »
I'm rootin' for ya. :)

And I'm also tucking in for bed, because my brain is finally rebelling against my muse.

Take care, and have fun with Laz! :)

Offline Scarlet SinTopic starter

Re: Looking for a "Guardian Angel"
« Reply #67 on: June 26, 2011, 09:35:42 AM »
I guess I will, when he shows up. :-) Take care, sweet dreams!

Offline Laz

Re: Looking for a "Guardian Angel"
« Reply #68 on: June 26, 2011, 09:41:03 AM »
I'm here, just trying to keep up with my inboxes and threads. so far so good. I like it.

Offline Scarlet SinTopic starter

Re: Looking for a "Guardian Angel"
« Reply #69 on: June 26, 2011, 09:50:52 AM »
Whats the next step then? :-)

Offline Laz

Re: Looking for a "Guardian Angel"
« Reply #70 on: June 26, 2011, 09:56:32 AM »
Next will be me deciding my character. and I will get back to you.

Offline Scarlet SinTopic starter

Re: Looking for a "Guardian Angel"
« Reply #71 on: June 26, 2011, 10:07:55 AM »
OK, no rush. :-)

Offline Kuje

Re: Looking for a "Guardian Angel"
« Reply #72 on: June 26, 2011, 11:41:18 AM »
Her chocolate-brown eyes and an almost-perfectly heart-shaped face would make any guy fall down to his knees.

Actually, you could remove the word down from this. :) I mean, you really can only fall down when going to your knees. So, it's a extra word that isn't needed, I feel.

Offline Scarlet SinTopic starter

Re: Looking for a "Guardian Angel"
« Reply #73 on: June 26, 2011, 12:00:14 PM »
I already did.

Offline Laz

Re: Looking for a "Guardian Angel"
« Reply #74 on: June 27, 2011, 12:24:01 AM »
Scarlet before I make anything, what kind of character do you see your female player conversing with?