Topic: moving sucks!

[JadenMystic]

Why does it suck so much when you move? Granted, you could be moving for any number of reasons: Closer to work, rent is cheaper, moving in with a significat other to save money. I've been helping my other half move for the past week and a half, and it feels as tho nothing I do to help with the move is good enough for him. I boxed up everything, and did most of teh dishes. A friend of ours cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen and the rest of the dishes all while the 2 of us were dealing with our combined 6 kids. Our friend has 4 and i have 2. I feel all I've had happen to me lately is getting fussed at by my SO, and I just don't understand why.

[Oniya]

Moving is one of the more stressful events in anyone's life, right around changes in schooling and having trouble with the boss.  Add to that a change in employment (better or worse), change in living conditions (again, better or worse), and everyone is going to get a little testy.

[JadenMystic]

Very true. The SO wasn't even thinking about moving but his uncle's daughter was moving in with the fiance and his mom called up and said he was moving to his uncle's place. The uncle wanted to keep it in the family, which I don't blame them at all. My SO was renting a 2 bedroom duplex, and now is in a 3 bedroom house. The place is nice. My two kids are even doing well with the new changes around them, and my son doesn't normally do well with change because of his Autism. The only thing that's harder on me is the amount of money it costs to go from where my home of record is to his place because of the kids schooling.

[Oniya]

Ah, so it was sort of dumped on him, to boot?  It's probably not you at all, I'd suspect.  He'd probably be fussing at anyone who happened to be near-at-hand, because - while an upgrade in the end - it's something he had little say in.

[JadenMystic]

He's glad for the move. He's now 2 miles from work instead of 18 so he gets to save a lot on gas. I'm glad for him too, to a point. Where he moved to is a lot further away from my home. Instead of it taking about 10-15 minutes to get to his place it now takes about 30 minutes. It made my kids last week of school entertaining because we all had been staying with him and had to leave a lot earlier to make sure they made it on the bus on time.

I basically have been living with him the past 2 months because of all the rain and flooding we had here. My parents house got flooded and the home smelled of mold. My son and I both have allergies and the mold wasn't helping us out at all thus the reason for the commute with my kids and myself for them to get to school. We're still debating trying to figure out other crap from my parents and the current situation on where my kids are going to school next year. The schools I was told by the current school system they are in or the school system where the SO lives.

[Healergirl]

Even a pleasant, wanted move is stressful.  I'm an army brat, my dad was career military.  We moved a lot.  A lot, as in 8 times in 14 years.  It never got any less of a hassle, but we got better at dealing with it.  He isn't really fussing at you, Jaden, mostly he is just venting.

[JadenMystic]

My ex-husband was active duty military. I know the moving around part sucks a lot. My next door neighbor at Fort Campbell was a military brat with the Marines, and then married someone in the Army. She's a sweetheart, and I still talk with her on Facebook. She's met the guy I'm with once when our husbands were deployed. I also know I shouldn't be taking it so personally, but for somereason I can't help it and am.

[Healergirl]

Ask him what's on his mind.  Indirectly, of course.  "Why are you being an asshole about this?"  is contraindicated.

[JadenMystic]

All he's said was it's been stress and he's sorry for being an ass...What is it with men thinking they can say sorry and we women are supposed to just be ok with it? It makes no sense to me. *sigh* If anyone wants to try to tackle this question for me, I would love to hear both sides of this!

[joepervdad]

Sometimes moving "sucks"! But sometimes moving opens up whole new avenues that you never would have thought would be opened to you. Since graduating from college, I have moved 19 times. Some of those moves have been across town BUT some of them have been across a region, two have been across country (from middle eat to far west) and then back. The latest move has been half way around the world. What I find though with each move is more experience - some good; some bad. I believe that our lives are a compliling of all those times and events that make us who we are.
It doesn't sound like you and your friend helped the SO; It sounds to me as if he got really "cheap" but careful / detailed movers. Shame Shame on him. I hope he at least bought you a nice dinner - without the kids !

[JadenMystic]

During the time we helped him move he did pay for food for myself, and our friend and her spouse. Usually when the mutual friend and spouse were over, I was on babysitting detail and dealing with my two special needs kids while the couple and the SO were doing the majority of teh cleaning and packing. It wouldn't have been as bad if the youngest child of theirs wasn't 6 months old. The other 3 kids of theirs while we did most of the work had been at Vacation Bible School giving us about 3 hours to do some hard core work with just the infant and my two kids, and my two were usually pretty good. Still haven't gotten a dinner alone for everything helping him with the move and helping with all the unpacking of his stuff into the new place...May have to bug him about that in the next week or so...