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Author Topic: Homosexuality Should Be Illegal  (Read 8084 times)

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Offline Noelle

Re: Homosexuality Should Be Illegal
« Reply #25 on: May 29, 2011, 09:56:40 PM »
No harm, no foul. :)

Offline Jude

Re: Homosexuality Should Be Illegal
« Reply #26 on: May 30, 2011, 12:10:56 AM »
I believe that one chooses to be heterosexual or homosexual, thus, since we are hypothetical born straight
Let me see if I am correctly understanding what you are saying.  You believe that people are born straight, and that people eventually have to choice to remain straight or become homosexual?

There are certainly people who would agree with you.  Take political lesbians for instance; they supposedly choose to be lesbians as a tactic of "separating from the patriarchy."  I don't know, though.

I am straight, and I can say for certain that I do not recall ever making the choice to be straight.  There have been times in my life when I felt disgusted with women and would've liked to involve myself with men -- when I was at my most dejected after a break up for instance -- but the option of becoming attracted to men was never presented to me or I would've possibly taken it.

I am straight because when I glance at imagery of feminine women, it arouses me.  This seems no different to me than how I salivate when I look at chocolate; it just tastes good to me, and women just seem attractive to me and are pleasurable to touch.  When I touch men similar ways, I simply don't feel the same way.  To me, this indicates that sexual attraction is an innate preference.  Science seems to corroborate this too.

I mean, in an existential sense, you still do make a choice.  You can choose to engage in homosexual behavior or heterosexual behavior, and if you believe you are defined by what you do not how you feel, then there's something to that.

Offline Pumpkin Seeds

Re: Homosexuality Should Be Illegal
« Reply #27 on: May 30, 2011, 06:18:32 AM »
My understanding is that the current theory on homosexuality is that the attraction works on a continuum rather than a strict no or yes scale.  People have varying degrees of attraction to the same and opposite sex.  This theory developed largely due to the large amount of straight men that admit to having homosexual encounters, but still identify as being heterosexual.  Their interactions, which society would interpret as them being gay, did not affect their self-image of being heterosexual.

The theory of choice is largely disregarded.  There are a few reasons for this including the ineffective use of social pressure to alter people’s behavior.  Social pressure is an incredibly strong force, one that can make people into monsters or force them to do tasks they are repulsed by.  Much pressure has been laid on homosexuals in the past to conform to norms, but the pressure has largely been without results.  At one point homosexuality was a hanging offense.  Homosexual still face ridicule and social repercussions for their lifestyle.  So why would a person make that choice when there is not advantage to making the choice?

Offline Serephino

Re: Homosexuality Should Be Illegal
« Reply #28 on: May 30, 2011, 07:39:49 AM »
I can honestly say I don't ever remember waking up one day and deciding to find men attractive.  I just remember realizing I had a crush on a boy in Kindergarten, and being confused.  Then in the 5th grade I had a crush on a girl and was really confused.

I think normal and natural is a relative thing.  What's normal for one person may seem strange to another.  Look at cultural differences in different countries.  When it comes to affection I'm a very physical person.  My father showed his affection by giving gifts, and so does the rest of his family.  When visiting those relatives, if I said I liked something, chances were I was going home with it.  That may seem strange to a lot of you, but that's just how they are. 

Offline jobe352

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Re: Homosexuality Should Be Illegal
« Reply #29 on: May 30, 2011, 08:16:26 AM »
My understanding is that the current theory on homosexuality is that the attraction works on a continuum rather than a strict no or yes scale.  People have varying degrees of attraction to the same and opposite sex.  This theory developed largely due to the large amount of straight men that admit to having homosexual encounters, but still identify as being heterosexual.  Their interactions, which society would interpret as them being gay, did not affect their self-image of being heterosexual.

The theory of choice is largely disregarded.  There are a few reasons for this including the ineffective use of social pressure to alter people’s behavior.  Social pressure is an incredibly strong force, one that can make people into monsters or force them to do tasks they are repulsed by.  Much pressure has been laid on homosexuals in the past to conform to norms, but the pressure has largely been without results.  At one point homosexuality was a hanging offense.  Homosexual still face ridicule and social repercussions for their lifestyle.  So why would a person make that choice when there is not advantage to making the choice?

I agree: society definitely pressures people to go with the flow--the accepted norm is heterosexuality. But, at least for me, if I believe in something, I don't sit in the corner and mope because no one thinks the same way. Gays and lesbians should just be themselves, whether or not that choice helps or hurts their social status.

Whatever makes them happy is the utmost concern...this is probably the same for each and everyone one of us.

So, in short, why not make that choice? Why not be different? When love comes into play, consequences aren't that important--again, as long as the couple's content with that lifestyle.   


Let me see if I am correctly understanding what you are saying.  You believe that people are born straight, and that people eventually have to choice to remain straight or become homosexual?

There are certainly people who would agree with you.  Take political lesbians for instance; they supposedly choose to be lesbians as a tactic of "separating from the patriarchy."  I don't know, though.

I am straight, and I can say for certain that I do not recall ever making the choice to be straight.  There have been times in my life when I felt disgusted with women and would've liked to involve myself with men -- when I was at my most dejected after a break up for instance -- but the option of becoming attracted to men was never presented to me or I would've possibly taken it.

I am straight because when I glance at imagery of feminine women, it arouses me.  This seems no different to me than how I salivate when I look at chocolate; it just tastes good to me, and women just seem attractive to me and are pleasurable to touch.  When I touch men similar ways, I simply don't feel the same way.  To me, this indicates that sexual attraction is an innate preference.  Science seems to corroborate this too.

I mean, in an existential sense, you still do make a choice.  You can choose to engage in homosexual behavior or heterosexual behavior, and if you believe you are defined by what you do not how you feel, then there's something to that.

Like I've said before, in order to produce children, a male must have sex with a woman. When you are an infant, you cannot make the choice to be anything other than what your body and hormones exude. If everyone was born gay, then why wasn't there just one gender created? Why need two...?

Again, with the chocolate example, it goes right back to your choice. Let's just say you didn't like candy. Just looking at sweets made you squirm, made negative thoughts pour into your mind. You're still choosing whether or not to eat it. That's my point. Your physical, emotional, genetic, and hormonal background does come into play, but, in the end, YOU decide what you want. Candy or no candy?

And when I say choice, I don't necessarily mean a verbal confirmation expressing your sexuality! Sometimes, it's internal... you silently affirm you'll never touch candy again, possibly without letting anyone know. It's still a decision.


I can honestly say I don't ever remember waking up one day and deciding to find men attractive.  I just remember realizing I had a crush on a boy in Kindergarten, and being confused.  Then in the 5th grade I had a crush on a girl and was really confused.

I think normal and natural is a relative thing.  What's normal for one person may seem strange to another.  Look at cultural differences in different countries.  When it comes to affection I'm a very physical person.  My father showed his affection by giving gifts, and so does the rest of his family.  When visiting those relatives, if I said I liked something, chances were I was going home with it.  That may seem strange to a lot of you, but that's just how they are. 


Hmm. Normal and natural aren't relative. Let me give you the two definitions of the words.. "Natural": of or pertaining to nature or the universe; existing in or formed by nature. "Normal": conforming to the standard  or the common type; serving to establish a standard.  Nothing in common, really.

While your body or mind says to find men or woman attractive, you yourself, influenced by a number of things, make the resolution to partake in either or both. This is when homosexuality, heterosexuality, and bisexuality arrives. You then receive a label based on your emotions, beliefs, and actions.
__________

I hope I answered everyone's questions. :) Feel free to comment.

« Last Edit: May 30, 2011, 08:21:38 AM by jobe352 »

Offline Noelle

Re: Homosexuality Should Be Illegal
« Reply #30 on: May 30, 2011, 09:15:35 AM »
I agree: society definitely pressures people to go with the flow--the accepted norm is heterosexuality. But, at least for me, if I believe in something, I don't sit in the corner and mope because no one thinks the same way. Gays and lesbians should just be themselves, whether or not that choice helps or hurts their social status.

I'm sure you didn't intend it, but this is a very condescending way to look at the current situation of homosexuals. They are not "sitting in the corner and moping". Your marginalization of the situation severely undercuts the horrible things that have happened and continue to happen to this day; again, I'm sure it's not intentional on your behalf, but it is nonetheless a harmful mindset. It's not a matter of "just being themselves" -- there are real consequences to coming out publicly; you can lose your job in many states, some people are disowned by their families, not to mention ridiculed, taunted, and sometimes physically assaulted.

You have presumably never had to think about whether or not holding someone's hand in public is going to start controversy, or if you're going to be fired because of "being yourself". I assume you've never been taunted for your sexual preference or have had to consider the impact that "being yourself" will have on the way your family perceives you -- that they might even fail to support you and reject you for it. That's not moping, my friend. That's real, genuine anxiety over what can be a life-changing thing such as coming out.

Quote
Like I've said before, in order to produce children, a male must have sex with a woman. When you are an infant, you cannot make the choice to be anything other than what your body and hormones exude. If everyone was born gay, then why wasn't there just one gender created? Why need two...?

You're making scientific claims with no factual base to them.

When you are an infant, you pretty much don't have any kind of sexual inclination at all given that most feelings of attraction don't happen until early adolescence, and even as an adolescent, you do not have the mental faculties developed to even understand sexual orientation.

Your questions aren't even relevant to proving or disproving whether or not homosexuality is a choice. The fact that homosexuality exists does not make having two sexes irrelevant -- you're making a false dilemma that we can either have homosexuals, but then we have no need for two sexes, or we can have heterosexuals, which means homosexuals must have chosen it. These are not the only two options, especially given that abnormalities occur in nature all the time, including what we have noted is homosexual behavior in various species across the animal kingdom, as well. The existence of homosexuality does not, never has, and never will invalidate heterosexuality. I'm not sure why you'd pit the two against each other, especially when you start to bring things like bisexuality into the mix, which invalidates your argument all the same.


Quote
Again, with the chocolate example, it goes right back to your choice. Let's just say you didn't like candy. Just looking at sweets made you squirm, made negative thoughts pour into your mind. You're still choosing whether or not to eat it. That's my point. Your physical, emotional, genetic, and hormonal background does come into play, but, in the end, YOU decide what you want. Candy or no candy?

I fail to see how this represents homosexuality at all. If looking at women made a man feel uncomfortable, what choice is there to be made if there is something appealing nearby? "You can do this thing that makes you uncomfortable OR you can do something that you like!" What in the world kind of choice would you call that? Why would anyone choose to have sex with women if it made them uncomfortable? It's maybe a choice in the most technical sense, but it's about the same kind of choice as "you can have this suitcase full of money...or you can get punched in the face".

Quote
Hmm. Normal and natural aren't relative. Let me give you the two definitions of the words.. "Natural": of or pertaining to nature or the universe; existing in or formed by nature. "Normal": conforming to the standard  or the common type; serving to establish a standard.  Nothing in common, really.

Despite the fact that you're still using the naturalistic fallacy, I'll humor you on this one and ask you for your opinion on our research on homosexual behavior in animals. I will remind you that animals do not have the mental capacity to choose a sexual orientation. I don't really see how you could argue that this is unnatural.

Normalcy is incredibly relative. It was considered normal 50 years ago for women to stay at home, take care of the house, and pop out babies. Conversely, it's normal today for most people, regardless of gender, to go out and work for a living. In the technical sense of it, homosexuality is abnormal in that the majority of the population is heterosexual, but again, normality is not synonymous with "good" or "right". Homosexuality in America 50 years ago was largely hidden and even more frowned upon; today, we have judges who serve while being openly recognized as gay, as well as advancements in legal recognition and protection. Normalcy is largely irrelevant.

Quote
While your body or mind says to find men or woman attractive, you yourself, influenced by a number of things, make the resolution to partake in either or both. This is when homosexuality, heterosexuality, and bisexuality arrives. You then receive a label based on your emotions, beliefs, and actions.

Your argument here doesn't make sense. You first argue that your body/mind says to find men or women attractive. That's biological. That would mean that being gay is not a choice because you would innately be attracted to one sex or the other, or both. You then say that we have a choice to act on that -- well yes, technically we do, but a man who has sex with women purely on a technical level but isn't sexually attracted to them isn't a heterosexual, he's a homosexual whose penis happens to be in a woman's vicinity. He's a gay man who's fooling himself.

Offline jobe352

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Re: Homosexuality Should Be Illegal
« Reply #31 on: May 30, 2011, 09:54:44 AM »
You certainly are taking this discussion far too seriously. I'm going to answer you in the tersest way possible...because, just after posting, what, twice, I feel more than enough hostility coming from both you, Noelle, and most of the others on this topic. If you'd like to take this conservation into the argumentative state, then I'll have no part in it.
---
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I'm sure you didn't intend it, but this is a very condescending way to look at the current situation of homosexuals.

You just perceive my words as condescending. They were used just to further discuss my point of choosing sexuality.

Quote
You're making scientific claims with no factual base to them.

What, a female and male, after having sex, won't produce a baby? Must I really find scientific evidence to prove this? Homosexuality does not create children, of course. Then, if one couldn't choose their sexuality, if it were based solely on biology, when won't those deemed homosexuals be "unnatural"? Men cannot further their bloodline with other males, and the same goes with females.


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...even as an adolescent, you do not have the mental faculties developed to even understand sexual orientation.

Complete, utter rubbish. Would you like to present me with some evidence that proves this statement's actuality? I, for one, will never have a sexual relationship with a woman--never have I ever had the urge to do this either. I have the strongest grasp upon my sexuality.

Quote
I'll humor you on this one and ask you for your opinion on our research on homosexual behaviors in animals.

If it's natural and normal, then why isn't ever animal participating in homosexuality? How can you compare a duck to a human? Even you said they can't choose their sexual orientation. Animals are completely instinctive, automatic things. They can't think rationally about anything and are extremely simplistic. Ludicrous...It's like contrasting a candy wrapper and a rock. Come now...humanity's complexities can't even be categorized in the same bracket as an animal's simplicities.
« Last Edit: May 30, 2011, 02:00:56 PM by jobe352 »

Offline Pumpkin Seeds

Re: Homosexuality Should Be Illegal
« Reply #32 on: May 30, 2011, 11:37:57 AM »
To say that a person should do what makes them happy is quite easy when that person has the back of the majority.  Making the statement that a person should be themselves no matter the consequences is a statement of ignorance for another’s plight.  The person could face unemployment, social ousting, humiliation, shame and any number of social consequences.  None of these will make that person happy.  Making the choice to come forward is a difficult one that many gay people wrestle with in their lives and may never truly come to accept.  Some may not even think themselves gay merely that they have desires that must be suppressed.  As we have agreed on, social forces are powerful in forcing another to comply.  That compliance is garnered through punishment.

Is the love of another so great that a person is willing to sacrifice their future, their family and their ability to reach for their other dreams?  For some, the answer is no.  Yet if this was a choice, if the gay person should shut off their desire for their own sex then why not make the easy choice?  Why not choose to be with the opposite sex, have their acceptance and have the ability to enjoy their cake and ice cream.

The issue with proclaiming something as natural is that none know truly what natural is.  A child born with birth defects is still natural.  The human body can develop many strange alterations in the human form through genetic mixtures.  While we consider them medical problems, they are still entirely created in and by natural changes and progression.  Taking the stance that you have stated would mean that any child born incapable of reproduction is an unnatural child.  Any human being that never possessed the ability to reproduce is an unnatural human.  That is quite a broad claim.

Offline Noelle

Re: Homosexuality Should Be Illegal
« Reply #33 on: May 30, 2011, 12:36:31 PM »
You certainly are taking this discussion far too seriously. I'm going to answer you in the tersest way possible...because, just after posting, what, twice, I feel more than enough hostility coming from both you, Noelle, and most of the others on this topic. If you'd like to take this conservation into the argumentative state, then I'll have no part in it.

Part of the purpose of the Politics & Religion boards is to debate. I apologize if you perceive anything I've said as hostile, as it was not my intent. However, if you do not want your views criticized (or as you've put it, "taking this discussion far too seriously"), then this may not be the right section for you and you may not want to end your posts with "feel free to comment". As Brandon pointed out, you don't have to discuss anything you don't want to, but you should probably let us know up front as not to waste our time.

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You just perceive my words as condescending. They were used just to further discuss my point of choosing sexuality.

You perceived my posts as hostile -- again, I apologize if that is how you read into my post, as it was not my intent, but just because you do not feel it was condescending doesn't mean it did not have that effect. Justification does not remove that sentiment, in fact, it often makes it worse. I was pointing out that the way you were treating the subject is flippant and marginalizing to the struggles of homosexuals to gain acceptance as being nothing more than "moping" is a very harmful mindset. That is offensive even if you didn't intend it.

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What, a female and male, after having sex, won't produce a baby? Must I really find scientific evidence to prove this? Homosexuality does not create children, of course.

No, procreation was not what I was referring to. That's about the only claim you've made so far that I can substantiate with science. If you'd like to do a little research and show me what is backing your view on homosexuality as a choice, that would be a great start to an intelligent debate.

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Then, if one couldn't choose their sexuality, if it were based solely on biology, when won't those deemed homosexuals be "unnatural"? Men cannot further their bloodline with other males, and the same goes with females. [/size]

I fail to see what procreation has to do with whether or not homosexuality occurs in nature, which by your own definition, would be 'natural'. But again, this point is wholly futile, given the naturalistic fallacy. Whether or not it's natural...really doesn't matter, because 'natural' is not synonymous with any kind of moral concept like 'good' or 'bad'. Some would argue that giving to charity is 'unnatural' (if you'd like to talk about the so-called 'selfish gene'), or that shaving your legs is 'unnatural' (after all, the hair is supposed to be there!). It's not a particularly strong basis for an argument.

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Complete, utter rubbish. Would you like to present me with some evidence that proves this statement's actuality? I, for one, will never have a sexual relationship with a woman--never have I ever had the urge to do this either. I have the strongest grasp upon my sexuality.

I would be happy to, if you could be so kind as to return the favor and maybe show a bit more respect for my opinion than calling it "complete, utter rubbish". I am open to being proven wrong, but only if you're going to make an effort to do so rather than being uncivil.

I did misword my response a bit, so that was my mistake -- I was thinking of adolescence as a different age range than it is, I'm thinking more of early preadolescence and before.

First, I'd like to put your quote into context, since it does matter.

You made this claim:

Quote
When you are an infant, you cannot make the choice to be anything other than what your body and hormones exude

When you are an infant, you do not experience sexual attraction. Infants do not even have a concept of gender or gender identity (this develops a little later on) and therefore are incapable of developing a sexual orientation. This isn't to say that children aren't, at some level, aware of sexuality -- little boys are notorious for touching themselves because it feels good, but they are generally unaware of what that feeling is and why.

Here is an AAP chart of normal sexual behavior in children.
Another chart regarding observed typical behavior in children-preadolescents.

This chart is especially noteworthy. A few points:

1. Before children have hit the stage where they have developed a definite gender identity, you'll notice that 13% dresses like the opposite sex and 6% wants to be the opposite sex. As time goes on, these feelings diminish.

2. Curiosity in their own sexual parts is very pronounced at a young age, as well as interest in others. However, you'll notice that their correlation with personal sexual gratification and other people remains largely non-existent. They are curious about other people's bodies and curious about sexualized things on TV and the like, but have not made the connection yet.

3. I'll point out the "overly friendly with men" category, which starts out at 2.5% and gradually diminishes as they age. Even interest in opposite sex peaks at only 25% between the ages 10-12 and drops before then.

Hormones do not, in fact, play a significant role until puberty -- certainly not when you're an infant.

It is also not uncommon for parents to find their young children engaging peers of the same sex, usually in an exploratory, curious manner (games of 'doctor', etc). This neither confirms nor denies any evidence of homosexual tendencies in children later on.

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If it's natural and normal, then why isn't ever animal participating in homosexuality? How can you compare a duck to a human? Even you said they can't choose their sexual orientation.

I didn't say it was normal. If your definition of normalcy is based on what happens in the majority of cases, then yes, animal homosexuality is abnormal. As I've stressed many times, normalcy is not a moral definition. Being normal is neither morally superior nor necessarily morally repugnant. So what's your point?

It's natural in the same way cancer is natural. Just because cancer is a naturally-occurring disease doesn't mean everyone has to have cancer.

Quote
Animals are completely instinctive, automatic things. They can't think rationally about anything and are extremely simplistic. Lubricious...It's like contrasting a candy wrapper and a rock. Come now...humanity's complexities can't even be categorized in the same bracket as an animal's simplicities. [/size]

I don't understand your views. Humans are animals. One minute you say homosexuality is a product of biology, but then you say it's a choice. Is your biological sex a choice then, too? I can choose to present myself as a man later on in life, after all!

You say it's unnatural, but then when I give you examples of homosexuality happening in creatures who aren't sentient enough to be able choose, that's also apparently unacceptable to you. You gave the definition of what's natural, I'm abiding by it, and now you're crying foul, not to mention consistently committing fallacies.

Determining whether or not homosexuality in humans is 'normal' is pointless. It's an utterly wortheless endeavor. 'Normal' in the sense of social acceptance is fickle. Normal is a worthless concept.
« Last Edit: May 30, 2011, 12:40:39 PM by Noelle »

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Re: Homosexuality Should Be Illegal
« Reply #34 on: May 30, 2011, 01:07:36 PM »
I will only reiterate what I put in my very first response on this thread.  The APA (American Psychological Association) does not consider sexual orientation (that being, the drive to be homosexual or heterosexual or bisexual any other point on the spectrum) to be a choice.

quote source APA article I linked earlier
Quote
Is sexual orientation a choice?

No, human beings cannot choose to be either gay or straight. For most people, sexual orientation emerges in early adolescence without any prior sexual experience. Although we can choose whether to act on our feelings, psychologists do not consider sexual orientation to be a conscious choice that can be voluntarily changed.

Can therapy change sexual orientation?

No; even though most homosexuals live successful, happy lives, some homosexual or bisexual people may seek to change their sexual orientation through therapy, often coerced by family members or religious groups to try and do so. The reality is that homosexuality is not an illness. It does not require treatment and is not changeable. However, not all gay, lesbian, and bisexual people who seek assistance from a mental health professional want to change their sexual orientation. Gay, lesbian, and bisexual people may seek psychological help with the coming out process or for strategies to deal with prejudice, but most go into therapy for the same reasons and life issues that bring straight people to mental health professionals.
What about so-called "conversion therapies"?

Some therapists who undertake so-called conversion therapy report that they have been able to change their clients' sexual orientation from homosexual to heterosexual. Close scrutiny of these reports, however show several factors that cast doubt on their claims. For example, many of these claims come from organizations with an ideological perspective that condemns homosexuality. Furthermore, their claims are poorly documented; for example, treatment outcome is not followed and reported over time, as would be the standard to test the validity of any mental health intervention.

The American Psychological Association is concerned about such therapies and their potential harm to patients. In 1997, the Association's Council of Representatives passed a resolution reaffirming psychology's opposition to homophobia in treatment and spelling out a client's right to unbiased treatment and self-determination. Any person who enters into therapy to deal with issues of sexual orientation has a right to expect that such therapy will take place in a professionally neutral environment, without any social bias.

Offline Shjade

Re: Homosexuality Should Be Illegal
« Reply #35 on: May 30, 2011, 01:16:42 PM »
Trust me, Jobe, I've seen hostility on this forum. These folks are just...very direct when it comes to debate on subjects such as these. It's nothing personal - they're not mad at you. ^.^

Now then, let's see if this can be cleared up a bit...
If it's natural and normal, then why isn't ever animal participating in homosexuality? How can you compare a duck to a human? Even you said they can't choose their sexual orientation. Animals are completely instinctive, automatic things. They can't think rationally about anything and are extremely simplistic. Lubricious...It's like contrasting a candy wrapper and a rock. Come now...humanity's complexities can't even be categorized in the same bracket as an animal's simplicities.
I think what you're trying to get at here is your statement that people choose despite their preferences, yes? Back on Jude's chocolate example you noted whether you find chocolate delicious or repugnant you're still making a choice as to whether to eat it or not. This is along the same line of reasoning, right? You're trying to say animals don't have the capacity to make those choices the way people do, therefore animals taking part in homosexual activities aren't comparable to humans who choose to act homosexual or otherwise? Okay, I can see that.

However, that argument overlooks something obvious: whether or not you choose to act on your preferences, you still have preferences that are natural, instinctive, and cannot be controlled. Therefore, even if a man only enters heterosexual relationships, if that man finds sex with women undesirable and is attracted only to men, can you really say he's heterosexual by nature? Isn't he, in fact, behaving unnaturally by acting against his inherent preferences - that which comes naturally to him?

You can choose how to act, yes. You choose to behave in a homosexual manner; you don't choose to have homosexual preferences, any more than you choose to like the taste of chocolate, the sound of classical music, or the atmosphere of Robert Frost's poetry.

So then it comes down to one question: what determines one's sexuality - actions or preferences? As I understand it, it's the latter.

Offline jobe352

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Re: Homosexuality Should Be Illegal
« Reply #36 on: May 30, 2011, 02:07:52 PM »
I really had to sit down and think about what I've posted. It does, now, make sense that a person is ultimately inclined towards one sexuality through their birth. :P Thanks Shjade, for understanding my point of view. I still believe, to some degree, people choose whether or not to be straight or gay, solely on a conscience level. You're spot-on.

Yup. Just like the chocolate. Do I eat this chocolate and suffer the ramifications, or do I avoid it all together?

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Re: Homosexuality Should Be Illegal
« Reply #37 on: May 30, 2011, 02:16:12 PM »
*smiles*

The difference being that eating chocolate causes a temporary problem (a few pounds that you work off, maybe an allergic reaction that you take your epi-pen for, some breakouts that you hit with the zit-cream), and 'choosing' to act on one's inherent sexuality can result in being ostracized from family, friends and community, having to deal with hate crimes and ignorance, and (should they 'choose' not to act on it) being separated for all time from the person that could be the love of their life.

Yup, just like chocolate.

Offline Serephino

Re: Homosexuality Should Be Illegal
« Reply #38 on: May 30, 2011, 05:34:44 PM »
I'm certainly not being hostile, but I am a little irritated.  But let's try this approach...

Okay, so, this is an adult role playing forum, right?  So you being here means you are interested in that kind of thing.  Did you choose that?  I tried looking at your preferences.  You didn't list much, but still, there must be something that turns you on.  When did you sit down and decide what was going to arouse you? 

Do you think that people with foot fetishes, or those who are into bondage chose that too?  Did you choose your favorite color?  Did you choose your favorite food?  When you try something new, do you sit and decide whether or not you're going to like it, or do you know as soon as you taste it?

As a bi-sexual person I catch all kinds of crap.  People think I want to have my cake and eat it too.  I get called greedy, or a slut.  That couldn't be further from the truth.  I'm mostly attracted to men.  The male form just really does it for me.  However, I do sometimes feel sexual attraction when I see a woman.  There are some pictures in the finders and seekers area that are of women and they send shivers down my spine.  It's a gut reaction, no choice involved.

Going with the chocolate analogy...  I have a box of gourmet truffles here by my desk.  I love truffles.  However, some of them are dark chocolate.  I like milk chocolate, not dark chocolate.  I probably will eat those dark chocolate truffles, but I'm not going to enjoy it.  I just really don't like to waste food, and my boyfriend doesn't like dark chocolate either.  But no amount of wishing or will power is going to make me like it.  Ergo... if a man is attracted to men, he can choose to be with women because of social pressure, he isn't going to like it.  He isn't going to be happy.  The same goes for a straight person.  A straight man could choose to be with another man, but he won't like it.  Wanting to like dark chocolate, or someone of the opposite gender, isn't going to make it happen.       

Offline jobe352

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Re: Homosexuality Should Be Illegal
« Reply #39 on: May 30, 2011, 07:35:24 PM »
As you can see above, my...outlooks been slightly changed.

I do sometimes think about things that arouse me, on occasion, what my brains tells me not to enjoy, but what my body might crave. I am a heterosexual female who will only be with men. I'm not even down for "experimentation".

I must say that you do choose your favorite foods, and your favorite color. You might be inclined a certain way, but, in the end, you, either verbally or mentally, say, "I like black. Black's totally my favorite."

Truffles--again, since you don't like wasting, you choose not to throw away the dark chocolate, because of preferences. It's still a choice. Now, I completely understand that some people can't help being attracted to a certain sex, person, food, color, band, so on and so forth. My point: you decide what you do.

Here it is again. Do I want to eat this yucky dark chocolate truffle? This is followed by: yes or no. A choice.



Offline Trieste

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Re: Homosexuality Should Be Illegal
« Reply #40 on: May 30, 2011, 07:53:38 PM »
jobe, no one is disagreeing with you that choosing to act on desires or not is a choice.

What people are trying to get at is that homosexuality or heterosexuality is more like the actual enjoyment of, and inclination toward, dark chocolate or milk chocolate or white chocolate. I don't know about you, but I didn't sit down one day and say, "I'm going to enjoy milk chocolate and white chocolate, but I'm going to find dark chocolate too bitter unless it's cooked into x, y, and z desserts".

Nobody does that.

To try to say that "Well, but I did that! You must have, too!" is an insult to the spirit of the people posting to you - in good faith that you will weigh their opinions as well as yours - as well as an insult to peoples' intelligence. You are saying that you are perfectly straight, and if I gather correctly, you never sat down one day and said, "I'm going to be into the cock".

Yes, you made a choice not to experiment with other sexualities, but you did not make the choice to have a complete lack of attraction to other women.

You don't make that choice.

You can choose to act on your desires but you do not choose your desires.

Just like you can't choose with whom you fall in love, even if they are terrible for you. Even if they hurt you or they don't love you back. Even if they are the same sex. Even if your family would disown you if they knew. Even if you're terrified that loving the person would ruin your friendship with them. Even if every fiber of your being tells you it's wrong.

You cannot help who you love. You cannot choose who you desire. Whether it's genetic and they do indeed find the 'gay gene', or whether it's a product of brain chemistry, or whether it's a product of something we cannot fathom, you do not choose your hair color, you do not choose whether to see or be blind, and you do not choose which physical form will set your blood to racing.

That is the difference between desire, and the choice to act on it. Between liking chocolate, and choosing to eat it.

Offline Shjade

Re: Homosexuality Should Be Illegal
« Reply #41 on: May 30, 2011, 08:33:09 PM »
That is the difference between desire, and the choice to act on it. Between liking chocolate, and choosing to eat it.
My first thought reading this is the obvious correlation for if/when the discussion ever turns Biblical in any context: the difference between temptation and sin.

My second thought was, Shit, that's just going to make it sound like homosexuality's sinning. >.<

You can't wiiiiiin. D:

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Re: Homosexuality Should Be Illegal
« Reply #42 on: May 30, 2011, 09:22:33 PM »
--Trieste

For like, the twentieth time, I got it: You can't determine your sexuality. You're either one or the other. :D

It just seemed like Sere didn't understand where I was coming from. That's why I keep repeating the "choice" bit.

And you can choose your hair color--thank god for hair dye! ^.^
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Offline Trieste

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Re: Homosexuality Should Be Illegal
« Reply #43 on: May 30, 2011, 09:43:50 PM »
--Trieste

For like, the twentieth time, I got it: You can't determine your sexuality. You're either one or the other. :D


Welllllll, actually.

According to Kinsey, many people are to some varying degree bisexual. Most of the people who are actually deemed (and identify as) 'bisexual' are somewhere in the middle of the Kinsey Scale or similar sexuality scales. I think probably Marguerite could speak more comfortably than I can about how widely accepted such scales are, but I do know that in my particular area, the idea of a 'scale' is pretty well-accepted. Being on the extreme ends of the scale is much like being on the high end or the low end of a bell curve, also.

And so.

It's actually quite unlikely that you're either one or the other. :-)

Offline Serephino

Re: Homosexuality Should Be Illegal
« Reply #44 on: May 31, 2011, 08:55:25 AM »
I do kind of get what you're trying to say.  Like I said, I ate the dark chocolate because I didn't want to waste it.  But my point comes in where I still didn't/don't like it.  If my mom is around I would much rather give it to her because she likes it.  You can't make yourself like something.  You either do, or you don't.

Say we have a man that is very attracted to other men.  But, for whatever reason, he decides he's only going to go out with women.  If he has to picture Johnny Depp to have sex with his girlfriend, is he still hetero?

Falling in love is even more complicated.  There really is no rhyme or reason to it.  I'm in love with a computer geek that works at Mc Donalds. 

Offline Shjade

Re: Homosexuality Should Be Illegal
« Reply #45 on: May 31, 2011, 03:03:25 PM »
If my mom is around I would much rather give it to her because she likes it.

I really hope this isn't how you pawn off people you don't want to date. :x

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Re: Homosexuality Should Be Illegal
« Reply #46 on: May 31, 2011, 03:07:20 PM »
You mean, you never set up someone that you didn't want to date with a friend that would fit better with them?  ::)

Offline Shjade

Re: Homosexuality Should Be Illegal
« Reply #47 on: May 31, 2011, 03:17:14 PM »
Well, no, I haven't, but I was more referring to hooking them up with your mother rather than your friend. xD

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Re: Homosexuality Should Be Illegal
« Reply #48 on: May 31, 2011, 03:27:34 PM »
I doubt my mother would like the women who would want to date me.  ;D

Offline Langueduchatte

Re: Homosexuality Should Be Illegal
« Reply #49 on: June 04, 2011, 10:27:36 PM »
I've been following this one with interest *smiles*
And there is some particularly fine debating going on, robust though it may be.
Looking back at the video from the OP, while I got the point fairly quickly that it was supposed to be sarcastic / ironic / whatever - my problem is was it wasn't actually that funny...
So, this will be long, but I will try not to prattle too much.  I'm looking at it from a completely personal perspective (no science, pseudoscience or objective psychological evidence to back me up here...just human being to human being)  -  I think it is very much a combination of all the things that people appear to want to take an opposing stance on.  Here's my personal experience:
At junior school level (and in the first few years of high school) I was branded a pansy / poof / (insert whatever homophobic moniker you wish; heard 'em all).  These were co-educational schools, I should add.  And what was this based on?  Mostly because I wasn't good at sport, didn't like football or hockey, wasn't interested in what the latest fucken motorbike or car model was.  No, I liked books, sitting drawing and painting, music...and avoiding dickheads who liked all the things I didn't.  So because I didn't conform to societal stereotypes of what a young male should be, I was therefore...what...homosexual? Pfft.  Great argument - talk about confusing gender and sexuality.  However, such was the pressure of this that I wondered if they might be right...and yep, like (I would stick my neck out to suggest) many a young boy I experimented with other young boys who had not conformed to imposed ideas of gender and sexuality.  Not many, but enough to know that...well, it just wasn't for me.  Choice?  Maybe.  But at least one of those other boys did 'choose' to be gay (or...maybe...just maybe...he was gay all along...Not too radical a leap, eh?)  No, I found out I much preferred females...and found out also that some of them liked me, too.  Being a 'sensitive' boy worked in my favour some of the time. 


So, winding forward many years...I worked in an industry that had many homosexuals working in it (male and female) and sometimes, but rarely, I was the only 'straight' guy.  Oddly (I had enough experiences of this to make me think it odd) I had many gay men telling me, trying to convince me, that I was gay...that denial was not a river in Egypt...I was a screaming heterosexual...yadayadayada.  Were they right?  Not in my opinion.  I have been in bed with 2 gay men, all of us in 'spoons' (me in the middle) and it didn't feel in the slightest bit sexual to me and neither did it to them (or so they told me).  Do the same with a good female friend (not a lover) and I'd be apologising for having a hard-on.  My unscientific opinion?  Pheromones most likely...women just do that to me.  So...is that choice?  Well, again...not in my opinion.  When presented with the choice, it appears that the little brain between my legs reacts to (certain) women's pheromones, and I have never had a similar experience with men.  And I have confidence in that...being a 'gay straight man' is a good place for me.  How about you?
So how does this add to the debate?  Ok, well maybe we shouldn't be trying to box it off with all the head-wank about whether or not it's natural or unnatural, whether or not some guy having sex with another guy, or girl with another girl,  is wrong (and let's not even go there with anal sex...unless you ask nicely ;D ).  It is what it is, so maybe acceptance is a good way forward.  The rest just starts to sound like sophistry.


*Dismounts high horse*
L