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Author Topic: In a press release, Darth Vader has said "Obi-wan Kenobi is dead"  (Read 2001 times)

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Offline WolfyTopic starter

http://www.galacticempiretimes.com/2011/05/09/galaxy/outer-rim/obi-wan-kenobi-is-killed.html#

But Vader refuses to release photos.

Quote
CORUSCANT Obi-Wan Kenobi, the mastermind of some of the most devastating attacks on the Galactic Empire and the most hunted man in the galaxy, was killed in a firefight with Imperial forces near Alderaan, Darth Vader announced on Sunday.

Offline Kunoichi

Re: In a press release, Darth Vader has said "Obi-wan Kenobi is dead"
« Reply #1 on: May 13, 2011, 04:22:49 AM »
I think the comments on the article are the best part, myself.

Quote
Sadly, even this victory likely won't satisfy Vader's critics -- they can't stand that he is black.

Offline Sabby

Re: In a press release, Darth Vader has said "Obi-wan Kenobi is dead"
« Reply #2 on: May 13, 2011, 05:00:01 AM »
Ah, the South Park tactic. Take a situation, retell it in as ridiculous a fashion as possible, removing it entirely from the realm of possibility, while also maintaining an unmistakable resemblance with the real life event. Great way of giving perspective to the worlds general retardation.

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Re: In a press release, Darth Vader has said "Obi-wan Kenobi is dead"
« Reply #3 on: May 13, 2011, 12:43:17 PM »
I didn't feel like paging through 208765 comments.  Did anyone mention that Obi-Wan's body actually vanished completely, rather than being dumped out an airlock?

Offline Hemingway

Re: In a press release, Darth Vader has said "Obi-wan Kenobi is dead"
« Reply #4 on: May 13, 2011, 12:57:29 PM »
You know, that is suspicious. Imagine what a hard time Darth Vader would have had, trying to explain to people that Obi-Wan just disapperaed. Imagine if Obama had tried telling people that!

Offline Starlequin

Re: In a press release, Darth Vader has said "Obi-wan Kenobi is dead"
« Reply #5 on: May 13, 2011, 01:05:19 PM »
Not only that, but think of the panic that would ensue once the people started wondering when and where he'd re-spawn.

Offline Craz

Re: In a press release, Darth Vader has said "Obi-wan Kenobi is dead"
« Reply #6 on: May 13, 2011, 03:46:56 PM »
When even the SPAM for the comment section is about cheap blasters and parts, I can feel happy that I am part of a generation where the geeky is common.

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Re: In a press release, Darth Vader has said "Obi-wan Kenobi is dead"
« Reply #7 on: May 13, 2011, 05:28:04 PM »
I felt floaty-hearts for that spam posting.

Offline TheGlyphstone

Re: In a press release, Darth Vader has said "Obi-wan Kenobi is dead"
« Reply #8 on: May 13, 2011, 08:06:55 PM »
Best. Spoof. Ever.

Offline Yorubi

Re: In a press release, Darth Vader has said "Obi-wan Kenobi is dead"
« Reply #9 on: May 13, 2011, 09:44:26 PM »
No photos... its just a lie. If it was true they would show the body! Someone is looking for 're-election' from their sith lord and using this as a ploy I say!

Offline MasterMischief

Re: In a press release, Darth Vader has said "Obi-wan Kenobi is dead"
« Reply #10 on: May 18, 2011, 09:36:40 PM »
I think the comments on the article are the best part, myself.

Agreed.  I found them funnier than the 'article' itself.

I heard from a reliable source inside the Imperial Battle Station (people need to stop referring to it as a Death Star, do you have any idea how many jobs that thing has provided, but I digress...)

Classic.   ;D
« Last Edit: May 18, 2011, 09:46:00 PM by MasterMischief »

Offline Ramael

Re: In a press release, Darth Vader has said "Obi-wan Kenobi is dead"
« Reply #11 on: May 23, 2011, 08:03:29 PM »
Ah, the South Park tactic. Take a situation, retell it in as ridiculous a fashion as possible, removing it entirely from the realm of possibility, while also maintaining an unmistakable resemblance with the real life event. Great way of giving perspective to the worlds general retardation.

...or it's just funny to a bunch of smart/geeky people.

Y'know.

Offline Shjade

Re: In a press release, Darth Vader has said "Obi-wan Kenobi is dead"
« Reply #12 on: May 23, 2011, 08:22:57 PM »
As an aside, I'm pretty sure that tactic was used long before South Park existed. They called it...um...saturr? Suteer?

Satire! That was it.

Offline Sabby

Re: In a press release, Darth Vader has said "Obi-wan Kenobi is dead"
« Reply #13 on: May 24, 2011, 12:08:46 PM »
They didn't invent it, but damn can they use it.

Offline Aleph

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Re: In a press release, Darth Vader has said "Obi-wan Kenobi is dead"
« Reply #14 on: June 16, 2011, 06:24:18 AM »
Two things...

1) Ummm...shouldn't this statement be given by the Emperor? *yeah yeah I know, satire and all :P *

2) I await a release of the photgraph of the Emperor, Vader, Mara Jade, Grand Moff Tarkin and a host of others sitting around a table, watching footage of Kenobi's death :)

Offline Sabby

Re: In a press release, Darth Vader has said "Obi-wan Kenobi is dead"
« Reply #15 on: June 16, 2011, 10:34:31 AM »
Wait, wait, wait... does this mean we just made Osama more powerful? o.o