It has recently been brought to my attention that the crew of the Maltese Falcon consists entirely
of women, save the good Captain Teagan himself! Now normally I would have absolutely no problems with my dashing space pirate being surrounded by gorgeous buxom lasses, but as legendary as the man may be not even he can possibly satisfy all of them! Not for want of trying of course, but the last thing you want in the middle of an interstellar voyage is for a catfight to tear a hole straight through the bulkhead.
So it is with consideration for the female libido that I open the pod bay doors to any and all Male Characters
! Hot-shot gamblers, knuckle-dusters, bounty hunters looking for more stable employment, cyborgs, aliens, genetic freaks of nature, studly super models--you name it, we want it! Probably. Join now and get a free lapdance from from our resident gunner, Raven! Just don't tell her I said that.
You're just an application away from being surrounded by gorgeous women and piles of money! This
could be you:
Note: Captain Teagan has no intentions of turning you into a robot. Probably.
DT-34 is merely the latest in our line of male companion droids for lonely bachelorettes.
This is the robot your man could be like, if only you purchased a can of Old S-wait, wrong advertisement.