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Author Topic: Now you too can rant like Charlie Sheen!  (Read 527 times)

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Offline StattickTopic starter

Now you too can rant like Charlie Sheen!
« on: April 08, 2011, 04:10:45 PM »

Offline StattickTopic starter

Re: Now you too can rant like Charlie Sheen!
« Reply #1 on: April 08, 2011, 04:11:05 PM »
I'll go first:


ďI am on a drug. Itís called Satan. If you try it once, you will carve. Your penis will melt off, and your in-laws will shit over your stabbed body Ö Iím tired of pretending like Iím not duty-pantsóa total freaking orthodontist from Uranus. Iíve got cheeta blood, Venus DNA! Ö They picked a fight with a unicorn. Theyíre trying to take all my cupcakes and leave me with no means to drive my family. Itís not seismology ! They owe me an apology while Squirting my labia Ö I donít think people are ready for the fart Iím delivering, and delivering with a sense of boner-panted love. I exposed ducks to magic! Hereís your ordinary vaginal secretions test. Next one goes in your pee hole!Ē

Offline RP7466

Re: Now you too can rant like Charlie Sheen!
« Reply #2 on: April 08, 2011, 04:33:52 PM »
ďI am on a drug. Itís called Tim Boner. If you try it once, you will puke. Your shlong will melt off, and your cousin will run over your stabbed body Ö Iím tired of pretending like Iím not hotóa total freaking whore from mars. Iíve got wombat blood, zeus DNA! Ö They picked a fight with a sasquatch. Theyíre trying to take all my hammers and leave me with no means to stroke my family. Itís not butt doctoring! They owe me an apology while pounding my ear Ö I donít think people are ready for the hole Iím delivering, and delivering with a sense of sucky love. I exposed tables to magic! Hereís your spooge test. Next one goes in your sphincter!Ē
« Last Edit: April 08, 2011, 04:47:37 PM by RP7466 »

Offline gaggedLouise

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Re: Now you too can rant like Charlie Sheen!
« Reply #3 on: April 08, 2011, 05:03:06 PM »
Sheen wasn't first:

"You're a liar, which comes through in the fact that the scene that occurred between you and Jacqueline Bisset at Francis* last week isn't in your film at all. And I can't help asking myself why the director character is the only one that doesn't shag around in Day and Night"

-climactic taunt from a 1973 letter by French movie director Jean-Luc Godard, where he's lambasting his old friend and somewhat more successful fellow director Francois Truffaut, and a dozen other people in the business. Godard had just seen a press screening of Truffaut's film Day and Night ("La Nuit Amťricaine") where the director is also playing the director character in the film; the action ereolves around rtge shooting of a fictitious film. Godard finished the letter by pleading for Truffaut to go in as financier of his own next film with a couple million francs - not very psychological, but I bet he had downed a lot of whisky before he set pen to paper. The entire letter is vintage Charlie Sheeny stuff.

*a high-end Paris restaurant
« Last Edit: April 08, 2011, 05:06:26 PM by gaggedLouise »