At the moment I am currently embarking on one of my major Autumnal missions. Though a massive chore it is really something I enjoy to do, in fact I do it twice a year, once in the Spring and once in the Autumn, both times of balance and reflection in light of coming change. I am in the process of the massive clear out.
Closets, cupboards, clothing, toys, paperwork and general miscellaneous junk beware, nothing is safe as I will sort through it all. I always find that when my house is cluttered, my mind is too and vice versa, they are linked and the best thing about doing these massive cleanups, other than having lovely clean surroundings, or as my daughter puts it ~that just moved in feeling~ is that it is so liberating mentally and creatively for me.
What better time to indulge, at a point where energies are urging us to lighten the load, drop the things that are weighing us down and unimportant, cleanse out the people and situations that are halting our development.
It was while doing this (I'm about halfway through the task) that I came across some of my ex boyfriends things. We broke up over the summer after what was an emotionally tumultuous time and for some reason he decided he didn't want to take his things straight away, that he would as he put it, pick them up later. He needed time to think, perhaps he thought he would leave them here because in the long run he would come back, who knows? I think for me, the most important thing here with this clear out was that I realized I had been holding onto him as well, that hope that he would want me back, perhaps that's why I agreed to hold onto his things, because of hope...?
Regardless of my subconscious reasoning I knew that it was time to let go, because the longer I leave it the more I am closing myself off to the new energies and opportunities that are waiting to come in. I found the strength to ask him to pick up his stuff and despite being quite obliging he was obviously surprised. A few things came up, I dealt with them in a new way, a less emotional way even though the feelings were raw in my chest. His things will be gone this week hopefully, it will stop my daughter asking after him and stop me feeling too connected to him on a daily basis, which I think is what I need to move forward right now.
People come and go in our lives, some more often than others, some having a deeper impact than others and some we seem to make the same mistake with again and again. What I am learning to do this Autumn, thanks to the stern words of a friend of mine who is wise well beyond his years, is to let go of them. It isn't easy but it's right.