The nice thing about Strangely is that when I'm down, he always manages to find something to cheer me up.....
Unfortunately, this has cheered me up while causing me a great deal of pain because I have laughed so much, hope they manage to raise a smile with you?
(I've highlighted my favourites)
1, The patient refused autopsy.
2, The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3, Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4, She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
5, Patient has chest pain if she lays on one side for over a year.
6, On the second day, the knee was better and on the third it had disappeared.
7, The patient is tearful and crying constantly. she also appears to be depressed.
8, The patient has been depressed since seeing me in 1993.
9, Discharge status: Alive, but without permission.
10, Healthy appearing decrebid 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
11, Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12, She is numb from her toes down.
13, Whilst in A/E, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
14, The skin was moist and dry.
15, Occaisional, constant infrequent headaches.
16, Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17, Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid gland.
18, She stated she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
19, I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
20, Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accomodation.
21, Examination of genitalia reveals he is circus sized.
22, The lab test revealed abnormal lover size.
23, Skin: somewhat pale but present.
24, The pelvic scan will be done later on the floor.
25, The patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
Bugger...should have just highlighted all of them shouldn't I?.....*grins*