March 30, 2011
This thought woke me up this morning. I have been referred to as "The Bitch", a lot lately. In fact the term has been used in this sentence to describe my mood at times; "The Bitch is back." Now I got to thinking about that. I have never been offended by it but it has had me thinking. Let me first tell you my train of thought. First I looked up in the Urban Dictionary the definition of Bitch. We all know the old definition, "A Female Dog" I think we can safely say that does not apply to me. So here are the Definitions I found that could be applied to me possibly:
Annoying and whining female.
A woman that doesn't give a flying f*ck anymore and that can and will be cruel to men.
A woman who would say things that if she were a man, she would be confronted or assaulted. (using her position as a woman as a shield)Here
is the link in case you want to check out all the definitions. I only put the ones that I thought might be applied to me.
Now after reading these definitions it made me think even more. Lets start with the one that is numbered 3. Annoying and whining female.
What is a man called when he is annoying and whiny? Also I want to know the answer to a question that has plagued my mind since I was a child? When is it ok to whine?
My mother taught us that if you don't have anything good to say then don't say anything at all. That has been a problem for me in the past and still is. When someone ask me how I am doing, my response is fine. It doesn't matter if I am bleeding, which I have been at times when ask that question, I say fine. I remember being hospitalized one time and the doctor came in and was talking to me and he ask, "how are you feeling". I said, "fine". He then said, "then why are you here." He was clearly unhappy with my answer. I am a people pleaser. In my mind I wasn't allowed to whine about my aches and pains. After further consideration I don't think that definition applies to me after all, but I would still be interested in the answer to my question. When is it ok to Whine?
Moving on to Definition number 5. A woman who would say things that if she were a man, she would be confronted or assaulted. (using her position as a woman as a shield)
I admit that I have done this. Hell what good is it to be a woman if you can't use it on occasion. Besides using her position as a woman as a shield
is a little old fashioned in my way of thinking. I am not saying all men but lets face it some men don't have a problem smacking a woman when they think she has said or done something unacceptable. So if a woman does this she takes a risk that one of those men might hear and try to put her in, what he considers, her place. Now back to the definition: saying things that if she were a man, she would be confronted or assaulted for.
Men do this all the time, they use their strength and position to say and do things that could get them in trouble, so why is this applied only to women? I will give you a for instance. In polite society men get away with farting and belching all the time. They think it is funny, they laugh and joke about it. Now I am not saying women don't have the same bodily functions, but at least we have the good manners to do so in private. Now you may wonder how could something like that get a man into trouble? I will explain. If said man is married or has a girlfriend he will eventually have to be alone with said wife or girlfriend and she is going to rip him a new one for embarrassing her. Now of course she will be called a bitch for doing it but if she were your mother she would be called teaching you good manners. *confusing and a little funny*
Moving on, Definition 4. A woman that doesn't give a flying f*ck anymore and that can and will be cruel to men.
I think this is the definition that people think about when they call me a bitch, The Bitch. To be honest I am not quite sure I understand why. Again the term does not offend me and I have often referred to myself as a Bitch but what I find odd now is that recently I have been getting this a lot. The only thing that has changed in my life is I have tried to take back control of my life and start taking care of me, the way I see fit. Now because I won't and don't do what other people think is best for me I am called a bitch. Strange. When a man takes control and does what he thinks is best he is patted on the back and cigars are handed out in congratulations for him. When a woman does it she is a bitch. The part about being cruel to men I don't get at all. I am playful, resistant, defiant but cruel? I don't see that unless you think cruel is not letting men/people dictate what you do with your body and life. If that is your definition then yes I am being cruel. I have had to much time in my life spent relying on a man to take care of me only to be disappointed again and again. Disappointed in being lied to. Disappointed in being used. Disappointed in a variety of ways and yet I am the bitch for taking a stand and saying no more. If that is the title for doing what I have done then I will gladly wear it.
Now you may wonder how the submissive side of me can coexist with this defiant side, well let me explain. To be submissive, for me, I need a strong man to lead me. One that I can trust without thought. If I have that then I can let myself drift into that space where I don't have to think and I can just feel, be submissive and let him take control. If I don't feel that, then NO, its not going to happen. I am a switch by nature. I prefer to be submissive but being submissive is far more difficult than just giving someone control, it is far more complicated than that, for me anyway.
This blog post is about being a bitch, so I will get back on track. I guess in summary I will wear the title Bitch
proudly from now on not questioning whether I deserve it or not. Maybe I'm not the one to decide if I deserve the title anyway. I guess those people who know me can decide for themselves, and really lets face it they already have. I am not offended by my title "The Bitch", I am flattered. *bows and curtsies* Yes thank you folks I am "The Bitch" and "THE BITCH IS BACK". I don't want to hurt anyone with my decisions but as a human don't we all deserve the right to take care of ourselves and make decisions for ourselves?
Now you men out there who are reading this post please don't be offended in anyway. Not all men are alike just like not all women are alike. I am not trying to make generalizations here. I am speaking from my own personal experience, that’s all. I know some of the women on here couldn't be happier with the men in their lives and the same goes for some of the men. I think that is wonderful and it makes me smile to know that it still is out there. You know, happiness between men and women. *HUGE SMILES*
So live, love, and enjoy each other. I actually think Marten Luther King said it best, "Live well, Love much, and Laugh often."