Having difficulty finding RP partners.

[Hob]

I made the O/Os already. I do write commissioned smut as a side gig, perhaps I should just link that stuff to my profile? Would that be on O/Os? Also I feel a little weird using like, gender locked subforums. Particularly as I largely play female characters, but have to post on Lords. I just find it a little confusing, do people click on Lord O/Os to find males that prefer playing female characters?

I would use samples of stuff you wrote from other RPs (don’t include your partners’ bits without their permission, though; it’s considered impolite.) As for your own solo material, I wouldn’t link to outside sites; just repost it in your O/O thread. You can put things brhind spoilers to avoid assaulting viewers with an instant wall of text.

I’ve met a number of Lords who write female characters; based on what I’ve seen, it shouldn’t be much of an issue. The On/Off boards are set up based on who the person is, not the characters they write. What you do is put a link to your O/O thread in your signature and any request threads you create. Let’s face it, there are thousands of threads in each board. Any new entry will get buried quickly. But by linking it to your signature line and your requests, people interested will have easy access to it regardless of where it actually is..

[Hob]

Speaking for myself only of course. But I don't go to say lords to look for people that write men, I go there to look up a specific guy and what he likes. And .. same for the others, or just to browse around. I think we are all just so used to knowing that the boards is for the person not what they write as it doesn't sound strange to us. And some play as both men and women, or everything in between.

If you made an on off thread, link it in your signature. Helps bring eyeballs to it. *points down* see how i have the threads I think people will be interested in there? That way if someone reads something I wrote and goes.. hmm wonder if Sara will be interested in my story about Thomas the Tank engine being possessed by a sex demon, they can easily find my on and off thread and my idea threads and look around

The gendered O/O have nothing to do with what you write but who you are, a male or female writer.  That's it.  If you are uncomfortable with that,  you can see about getting changed to a liege or legate.  They are non-gendered roles.  But there are plenty in both categories that write the other genders. 

*double high-fives!*

[Helpless]

If it were up to me, I'd just leave my profile title blank lmao.

[Hob]

If it were up to me, I'd just leave my profile title blank lmao.

That’s essentially what Legate is for.

[Oniya]

The gendered O/O have nothing to do with what you write but who you are, a male or female writer.  That's it.  If you are uncomfortable with that,  you can see about getting changed to a liege or legate.  They are non-gendered roles.  But there are plenty in both categories that write the other genders.

Liege is not 'non-gendered'.  It is for people who don't fit the gender binary.  Trans folks, gender-fluid folks, etc. 

Legate is the 'I don't want to reveal my gender' group.

[Helpless]

I mean, I'd tell anyone that asks me. I just don't really think it's relevant for what I'm doing here.

[Oniya]

'It's not relevant' is a perfectly good reason. :-)  I just wanted to clarify that if you did want a 'non-gendered group', you would want Legate.

One of the major reasons for having the gender groups is because there are some topics that people aren't comfortable discussing with people of other genders (I can only personally attest to 'female topics', but I'm sure there are things that guys talk about that they wouldn't discuss around women.)  Therefore, we have special boards set up with access restrictions based on those groups.

[Helpless]

'It's not relevant' is a perfectly good reason. :-)  I just wanted to clarify that if you did want a 'non-gendered group', you would want Legate.

One of the major reasons for having the gender groups is because there are some topics that people aren't comfortable discussing with people of other genders (I can only personally attest to 'female topics', but I'm sure there are things that guys talk about that they wouldn't discuss around women.)  Therefore, we have special boards set up with access restrictions based on those groups.

Now that makes sense to me, I was really confused about why it was there in the first place. Guess I should look into being a Legate instead then.

[Pockets]

Okay, so I hope I'm not kicking a dead horse here. But having looked at this request in the past, (men writing female characters in a sexual capacity doesn't bother me), I personally felt put off by the request. It's not a bad request, in and of itself, but I think that the story is too focused on what you're wanting, including the character that your partner is going to be playing.

Most stories I've had success with have been open ended seeds with a general idea of the setting and kind of character that you'd be playing and put out certain expectations that have to be fulfilled. But keep them simple. You're wanting someone to play the dominant female in the pairing, leave that part alone in the request. When someone reaches out to you, you can work with them on getting a bit more specific. You'll find that often as not a lot of folks here on E actively want to communicate what they want and they want you to communicate what you want. There will be a fair bit of give and take on both sides to make it work.

But go look into some of the other request threads and reach out to people, you'd be surprised at how many people are willing to take a request and work with you to turn it into a story that you can both enjoy. But take it with a grain of salt if they say they're not interested.  And sometimes, it just takes waiting on a specific request until you can find the partner you feel comfortable writing something specific with.  Or finding the partner who is willing to give it a shot because you took up a specific request that they couldn't find any bites on. A large part of E is being sociable and taking chances. Some of the best writing partners I've had here on E were random contacts. Either they contacted me out of the blue or I contacted them out of the blue.

For example, I reached out to Sara about a story simply because of a post she made in one of the Socializing threads I follow. I checked out her O/O's and felt that we had enough in common that I felt I could at least throw a story pitch. I didn't even know if she was looking for new stories. In fact, I don't think anyone has specifically approached me about a story on my O/O thread in years (probably because it's so outdated I'm a bit ashamed of it), because I am proactive about finding stories.

All I can suggest besides that is to be patient. I think I wrote with like three people the entire first year I was on E (at least that I remember). It's worth it in the end man, just be patient.

[Lexandria]

Now that makes sense to me, I was really confused about why it was there in the first place. Guess I should look into being a Legate instead then.

To change to Legate, you can PM anyone with the Oracle tag and we can sort that out for you. :)

[Helpless]

Okay, so I hope I'm not kicking a dead horse here. But having looked at this request in the past, (men writing female characters in a sexual capacity doesn't bother me), I personally felt put off by the request. It's not a bad request, in and of itself, but I think that the story is too focused on what you're wanting, including the character that your partner is going to be playing.

Most stories I've had success with have been open ended seeds with a general idea of the setting and kind of character that you'd be playing and put out certain expectations that have to be fulfilled. But keep them simple. You're wanting someone to play the dominant female in the pairing, leave that part alone in the request. When someone reaches out to you, you can work with them on getting a bit more specific. You'll find that often as not a lot of folks here on E actively want to communicate what they want and they want you to communicate what you want. There will be a fair bit of give and take on both sides to make it work.

But go look into some of the other request threads and reach out to people, you'd be surprised at how many people are willing to take a request and work with you to turn it into a story that you can both enjoy. But take it with a grain of salt if they say they're not interested.  And sometimes, it just takes waiting on a specific request until you can find the partner you feel comfortable writing something specific with.  Or finding the partner who is willing to give it a shot because you took up a specific request that they couldn't find any bites on. A large part of E is being sociable and taking chances. Some of the best writing partners I've had here on E were random contacts. Either they contacted me out of the blue or I contacted them out of the blue.

For example, I reached out to Sara about a story simply because of a post she made in one of the Socializing threads I follow. I checked out her O/O's and felt that we had enough in common that I felt I could at least throw a story pitch. I didn't even know if she was looking for new stories. In fact, I don't think anyone has specifically approached me about a story on my O/O thread in years (probably because it's so outdated I'm a bit ashamed of it), because I am proactive about finding stories.

All I can suggest besides that is to be patient. I think I wrote with like three people the entire first year I was on E (at least that I remember). It's worth it in the end man, just be patient.

Well I've already said that I hate to recieve unrelated requests. And hate to approach someone that already has a carefully written request thread with my own pitch.

I have no real way to phrase what I want from that specific request without losing what I'm looking for in it. The craving is to do with a specific body type, attitude and background. I've had people approach me on other sites about things I'm not remotely interested in because we share a fetish or two. My other request which has been up for several months is far more open with the other character and the only interested party ghosted me. I've been here for nearly a year and thats all thats really happened.

[Formless]

Well I've already said that I hate to receive unrelated requests. And hate to approach someone that already has a carefully written request thread with my own pitch.

I have no real way to phrase what I want from that specific request without losing what I'm looking for in it. The craving is to do with a specific body type, attitude and background

The more specific you are about what you want, the less the chance of getting someone interested in what you want.

Its understandable when you want a strong and specific craving. But with the way you're phrasing it, you're putting yourself in 'wish fulfillment' territory. This is the sort of territory where people already interested in your writing would venture into it.

There's a big difference between wanting your wish to be fulfilled, and wanting to share a story. Many people steer clear of such requests due to the hazard of being told that 'they're not doing it right', because with the character they're supposed to play have been so detailed, that the character creator would expect them to play it exactly like how he wants it. I am not saying you're the same, just that this is what usually turn people off from such requests.

The solution? Like many have said. Put yourself out there, socialize, make friends and showcase your writing. We have a storytelling forum where you can exhibit your style of writing. Someone might enjoy your solo piece and hit you up. Mingle with the socializing crowd.

Or be more flexible. When you work with another human being, you need a sense of compromise. Otherwise, you need patience until that likely mind clicks with your idea.

Good luck.

[Timeless]

Well, I've already said that I hate to receive unrelated requests.

I'm going to be honest - seeing you typing this and even having it in your profile definitely deters me from wanting to contact you even if you may have an idea which sparked an interest in me. I understand you wouldn't want to waste your time with people who couldn't fulfill your request but at the same time, it's called cooperative writing for a reason. You are writing with a writing partner, which means you would have to compromise to ensure you and that partner get something out from the story.

Formless said it very clearly before me, but either way, I just don't think that having such a dismissive attitude is a way to go in order to gain any interest for your ideas - or anything in general.

[Hob]

Well I've already said that I hate to recieve unrelated requests. And hate to approach someone that already has a carefully written request thread with my own pitch.

I have no real way to phrase what I want from that specific request without losing what I'm looking for in it. The craving is to do with a specific body type, attitude and background. I've had people approach me on other sites about things I'm not remotely interested in because we share a fetish or two. My other request which has been up for several months is far more open with the other character and the only interested party ghosted me. I've been here for nearly a year and thats all thats really happened.

Just putting up a request thread does little. You’ve got to put yourself out there. A good fishing metaphor is that you’ve set your hook, cast your line into a big lake hoping a very specific type of fish will bite... but you haven’t weighed your line or put any bait on the hook. Your hook isn’t reaching down far enough where the fish will find it, and even if they do, there’s little to entice them to take.

Also, you stated about what you want, but what are you bringing to the table? What can you offer a prospective partner? Consider what you have to offer to a partner, what would make them want write with you.

Finally (from me at least), ghosting happens. It sucks. It hurts. BELIEVE me, I know! But it’s a fact of life. Some people are afraid of confrontation. Or they’re simply selfish and don’t care; they’re bored and done. It took me a long time to learn this, but it’s easier to just let them go and move on.

You’ve gotten some sound advice from some pretty awesome and active writers. Try it. See what happens. You are not going to get instant results, but it’s going to improve your chances. Like any other type of relationship, finding and keeping a decent writing partner with similar interests takes work and commitment.

[Helpless]

I'm going to be honest - seeing you typing this and even having it in your profile definitely deters me from wanting to contact you even if you may have an idea which sparked an interest in me. I understand you wouldn't want to waste your time with people who couldn't fulfill your request but at the same time, it's called cooperative writing for a reason. You are writing with a writing partner, which means you would have to compromise to ensure you and that partner get something out from the story.

Formless said it very clearly before me, but either way, I just don't think that having such a dismissive attitude is a way to go in order to gain any interest for your ideas - or anything in general.

If I'm interested in someone's content, I'll contact them about it. I just want the same courtesy. I've never been contacted for someone else's request that actually was similar to my presented interests. It sounds like people don't use request threads at this point and if thats the case, then I really can't function on here.

[Helpless]

Just putting up a request thread does little. You’ve got to put yourself out there. A good fishing metaphor is that you’ve set your hook, cast your line into a big lake hoping a very specific type of fish will bite... but you haven’t weighed your line or put any bait on the hook. Your hook isn’t reaching down far enough where the fish will find it, and even if they do, there’s little to entice them to take.

Also, you stated about what you want, but what are you bringing to the table? What can you offer a prospective partner? Consider what you have to offer to a partner, what would make them want write with you.

Finally (from me at least), ghosting happens. It sucks. It hurts. BELIEVE me, I know! But it’s a fact of life. Some people are afraid of confrontation. Or they’re simply selfish and don’t care; they’re bored and done. It took me a long time to learn this, but it’s easier to just let them go and move on.

You’ve gotten some sound advice from some pretty awesome and active writers. Try it. See what happens. You are not going to get instant results, but it’s going to improve your chances. Like any other type of relationship, finding and keeping a decent writing partner with similar interests takes work and commitment.

Well I've made my O/Os. I've restructured my request thread and I will eventually post some of my own written content to show what I can do. I'm just adverse to approaching someone with a request thread they haven't previously shown interest in. Otherwise, I'm trying to take things on board.

[CandyLips]

If I'm interested in someone's content, I'll contact them about it. I just want the same courtesy. I've never been contacted for someone else's request that actually was similar to my presented interests. It sounds like people don't use request threads at this point and if thats the case, then I really can't function on here.

People do use request threads. But, you're more likely to catch someone's interest by being active on the site. Right now no one knows what your writing style is. No one is certain of your post length or knows if they'll be a good fit because you have nothing to offer besides "trust me."

Also, not to be rude or anything, but the attitude you are taking with your search is gonna be a huge turn-off for a lot of people. From my end, you are making demands when really it needs to be a negotiation. The people on this site are people. We have our own wants and cravings and we are not here to serve your fantasies, we're here to have an enjoyable writing experience.

I'm not trying to be rude here. I'm honestly not. But you're coming off as selfish and I think you need to be made aware of that. People aren't going to respond positively to "This is what I want and I do not compromise." No one is here for your pleasure. I'm sorry.

[Cassandraks]

People do use request threads. But, you're more likely to catch someone's interest by being active on the site. Right now no one knows what your writing style is. No one is certain of your post length or knows if they'll be a good fit because you have nothing to offer besides "trust me."

Also, not to be rude or anything, but the attitude you are taking with your search is gonna be a huge turn-off for a lot of people. From my end, you are making demands when really it needs to be a negotiation. The people on this site are people. We have our own wants and cravings and we are not here to serve your fantasies, we're here to have an enjoyable writing experience.

I'm not trying to be rude here. I'm honestly not. But you're coming off as selfish and I think you need to be made aware of that. People aren't going to respond positively to "This is what I want and I do not compromise." No one is here for your pleasure. I'm sorry.

This is exactly it, you want a lot but don't seem to be willing to give anything in return. You also assume a lot of stuff, because of one bad interaction here. What people are trying to say really, is you have to be open. If you just stick with the mindset of I want what I want, and I won't budge then you will have a hard time finding writing partners.

I get wanting to do your specific ideas, I have a few which I have been wanting to do for a long time and if I ever get the chance to try it just never ends up getting off the ground. That is the way of RPing really, on most sites I have ever been on and I have been doing this for a lot of years. While I would love to do certain things, I have learned to compromise. The way I do that is by looking at others request threads, and seeing if something sparks my interest if they do I PM the person. The other way I compromise is by figuring out other things I might want to write, that are more likely to attract a wider group of people to my Request Thread. They might not be something I desperately want to write, but they are fun things that can be written with someone else. And by doing that, I get to know other writers and if I work well with them or not. And if I do, and we continue writing I know there is a chance that bringing up some of my other stuff to maybe write with them they might be more open to it. And if they don't that is ok, because I know it takes time to find the right person to write an idea with and I am willing to wait to find them. I am with you on not wanting to go to other people with my ideas, that is why I try one of theirs first it just makes it easier to start an interaction.

While your tastes are not my tastes, looking at your threads your negativity and uncompromising attitude just makes me want to run. If I seen that for anyone I wanted to write with, who had an idea I wanted to do I wouldn't even bother with them because I know interacting with them would mean more trouble then it is worth. I have no problem working with others, but when they are so set in their ways that they barely try to work with me to find an equal path to walk on where we can both be happy. It really isn't worth my time to try and interact with them in the first place.

We can only suggest things to you, and you are the one who needs to see if you want to try them. But if you are so closed off, that you don't even want to try and are asking for miracles. I'm sorry, but there isn't a lot that any of us can do to help you with that.

[Helpless]

This is exactly it, you want a lot but don't seem to be willing to give anything in return. You also assume a lot of stuff, because of one bad interaction here. What people are trying to say really, is you have to be open. If you just stick with the mindset of I want what I want, and I won't budge then you will have a hard time finding writing partners.

I get wanting to do your specific ideas, I have a few which I have been wanting to do for a long time and if I ever get the chance to try it just never ends up getting off the ground. That is the way of RPing really, on most sites I have ever been on and I have been doing this for a lot of years. While I would love to do certain things, I have learned to compromise. The way I do that is by looking at others request threads, and seeing if something sparks my interest if they do I PM the person. The other way I compromise is by figuring out other things I might want to write, that are more likely to attract a wider group of people to my Request Thread. They might not be something I desperately want to write, but they are fun things that can be written with someone else. And by doing that, I get to know other writers and if I work well with them or not. And if I do, and we continue writing I know there is a chance that bringing up some of my other stuff to maybe write with them they might be more open to it. And if they don't that is ok, because I know it takes time to find the right person to write an idea with and I am willing to wait to find them. I am with you on not wanting to go to other people with my ideas, that is why I try one of theirs first it just makes it easier to start an interaction.

While your tastes are not my tastes, looking at your threads your negativity and uncompromising attitude just makes me want to run. If I seen that for anyone I wanted to write with, who had an idea I wanted to do I wouldn't even bother with them because I know interacting with them would mean more trouble then it is worth. I have no problem working with others, but when they are so set in their ways that they barely try to work with me to find an equal path to walk on where we can both be happy. It really isn't worth my time to try and interact with them in the first place.

We can only suggest things to you, and you are the one who needs to see if you want to try them. But if you are so closed off, that you don't even want to try and are asking for miracles. I'm sorry, but there isn't a lot that any of us can do to help you with that.

Well I have been taking on board what I can. I'm just a direct person, I don't think that the other two request in my thread are actually that firm, it's just the one that's particularly unconventional. I just can't write what I don't want to write within an RP. I take written commissions as a side gig. I'm about to link one up as a demonstration of my general ability to write. So that people don't have to 'trust me'.

I also wouldn't say that I'm being negative, I'm not telling people their interests are trash or that I personally dislike their content. I'm just trying to say I won't be available for requests I've shown no interest in. I wouldn't say this sentiment is a negative thing. I really don't see what the big deal is about that. I'm not particularly enthusiastic about this attitude of writing with someone that I don't vibe with just for idk, 'exposure'? There's only one thing that feels worse than being trapped in an RP with a partner you actually aren't compatible with. (Ghosting) Also I'm a little salty about that, but it's not like I blame the site. I'm still here, trying to work on it. I've been doing this for years too but this is the first forum that I've felt like there wasn't really a place for me. (Not because of the ghost)

I feel compelled at this point to emphasize that I'm not trying to be argumentative or anything but I don't think people are really understanding my position here. I have appreciated people explaining why O/Os are useful, as my initial opinion was that they seemed rather redundant. I was encouraged to present more options within a thread and I've done that too.  And I don't have problems working with others when there's something on the board that we both want to do, I think you're drawing some parallels that you couldn't really know about me when you tell me I'm closed off and uncompromising. I feel distinctly detached from my feelings on making/being contacted with unrelated requests and my behaviour when discussing what what we'll be doing once a request is being developed.

I just feel people are picking up contention from me, when I have none.

[Helpless]

Can I get some direction on where to post example writing please?

[Lovely Complex]

Can I get some direction on where to post example writing please?

Your On’s and Off’s thread would be ideal. :)

[Helpless]

Your On’s and Off’s thread would be ideal. :)

ty

[Avernale]

I'm not particularly enthusiastic about this attitude of writing with someone that I don't vibe with just for idk, 'exposure'? There's only one thing that feels worse than being trapped in an RP with a partner you actually aren't compatible with.

Trapped how?  It's always possible to just leave an RP, as has been demonstrated.  Of course, it's more polite to write a "Dear John" post that to just ghost.  And the only real way to figure out if you can vibe with someone is go ahead and try.  Keep looking for Princess Charming, and make some friends in the meanwhile.

Speaking of, if it's the other character that has to be just so, have you considered playing that character instead?  If the character you had intended to play was largely non-specific, I get the impression that submissive femboys are a dime a dozen.

[Helpless]

Trapped how?  It's always possible to just leave an RP, as has been demonstrated.  Of course, it's more polite to write a "Dear John" post that to just ghost.  And the only real way to figure out if you can vibe with someone is go ahead and try.  Keep looking for Princess Charming, and make some friends in the meanwhile.

Speaking of, if it's the other character that has to be just so, have you considered playing that character instead?  If the character you had intended to play was largely non-specific, I get the impression that submissive femboys are a dime a dozen.

I'm not currently interested in changing the nature of the request to that degree.

[Nymphadora]

I feel compelled at this point to emphasize that I'm not trying to be argumentative or anything but I don't think people are really understanding my position here. I have appreciated people explaining why O/Os are useful, as my initial opinion was that they seemed rather redundant. I was encouraged to present more options within a thread and I've done that too.  And I don't have problems working with others when there's something on the board that we both want to do, I think you're drawing some parallels that you couldn't really know about me when you tell me I'm closed off and uncompromising. I feel distinctly detached from my feelings on making/being contacted with unrelated requests and my behaviour when discussing what what we'll be doing once a request is being developed.

I just feel people are picking up contention from me, when I have none.

I agree and feel you aren't trying to be argumentative. You are looking for advice but the advice isn't something you feel has been as helpful as you would have liked. You have taken some of the advice still, which is great! Your on and off thread is totally fine and gets more info about you across. I think what it is that folks may be finding argumentative and/or negative is that you seem to be set in stone as to what you want a potential partner to play for that specific request. And you are totally fine to feel that way. You have a craving. We all get them at times and want them fulfilled specifically. In an ideal world that would happen. But what I think is getting lost is the idea that if you expand request with regards to phrasing, open it up to a certain extent to more collaboration, it might feel to folks reading it that you are more flexible. It doesn't mean you have to compromise on what you want to get. But it might open the door for someone who would approach you to discuss their take on your idea. That may lead you to realise something like "Oh wow... Yeah, that is a great angle on what I was looking for." It may lead no where too but would have started a dialogue with someone that you might approach at another time to try something else.

Don't compromise on what you want. But finding a way to opening the idea up to discussion may get you what you want in the end.

You say you will never approach someone about RPing something they haven't requested. That's fine and is totally up to you. But what if you are looking through some on and off thread and some person ticks off all of the kinks you are looking for. Their post history shows they write an awesome FemDom. Only... they don't have a specific request out there somewhere to match your craving. Not a big deal here at all. Drop the person a friendly note talking about how you saw such and such in their on and offs and were hoping to talk about developing an idea. The worst thing that typically happens (in my experience and as told by many arond E) is you get zero reply. Hopefully, you'd at least get a "Well thanks, but I'm not ... blah blah" BUT you may start a conversation that leads you to the best RP you've ever had...

This is, I think, is at the core of what a lot of people have been saying to you. Reading you saying you would 'never' accept unsolicited PMs about something you aren't looking for in requests because you would 'never' do that, does sound negative. I think it boils down to the fact you have been used to that on other sites. Personally, any other sites I've been on have been more like E is. People welcome the conversation. Or at worst, ignore and those rude jerks can stay rude and not discuss potential ideas! :P

It can be a scary thing to reach out to a total stranger based on just their on and offs. Especially if you are new and not have a lot writing history on the site to refer to. You feel like you are intruding. You feel too forward and you expect rejection. My experience on E has not been that. The majority of this community is friendly and polite. There will ALWAYS be ghosting. And yeah it sucks. There will ALWAYS be rude people. But they are not the norm here.

I've babbled enough ... ;)

Also, the Storyteller forum is a great place to pop in some writing. You could do a brief scene similar to what you are looking for, link it in your request thread and on and offs with a "Would love to expand on this with a partner." comment. :)