Breakup with the person above you!

[Cayenne]

Dear kckolbe,

When I was making my character, you were the bomb! You gave me everything! High scores! I couldn't go wrong! Time went on, I mean - the rolls got low - what can I say? I was willing to stick with it.  But you know, when I needed you the most.. Really, five critical failures in a row? FIVE FREAKING CRITICAL FAILURES IN A ROW!?

Yeah, well here's your critical failure. WE'RE OVER.

Cay.

[Outsider]

Dear Cayenne,

remember the day when you picked up worthless old me from my white trash trailerpark home, gave me a purpose in life, a home, money and all your love? Remember when you taught me to brush my teeth, wash my face and use deodorant against my bodily odor?
Remember all those times I begged you for a BigMac and a good lunch at MC'D and you refused, brought me to a restaurant to eat some fancy, healthy food in candle light? When you made me lose all that weight and train my abs?
Remember when you taught me to read and write properly? Bet you're regretting it now, bitch.
Remember how you forced me to work, saying it will help body and mind? Of all those things above, I will never forgive you for this one in particular.
We're through. I can't stand this anymore.
I found a new gal named Amanda. She promised me I could sit on the couch all day, watching cartoons.

Goodbye

[Caremejo]

Dear T.O.,

I agonized over the decision to leave. But I don’t feel I can measure up. I’m a simple Warner Brother’s girl and I can’t understand the complicated modern cartoons you enjoy with their continuing story lines, multiple plot points, and complicated characterizations. You eat that fancy microwave popcorn, while I crack peanuts and sunflower seeds and leave the shells spilling out of a bowl. You eat that fancy Scottish Food with its Golden arches while I’m a boxed mac and cheese girl (with extra cheese powder!). You get that regular check from the social security man, while I beg for quarters across from the Fool 4 Less and collect cans from outside Benny’s Sports & Massage Lounge. I thought I could fit in with your fancy, culturated lifestyle, but it never going to work.

Jo

P.S. Even though my name isn't Amanda, I like it so I'm keeping it. You can have the box of taffy in the refrigerator and the radiator rusting out front.

[TheLegionary]

Dear Caramejo,
You write to much to justify what is not justifiable. As I am laconic, you off!
TL

[Kythia]

TheLegionary,

It wasn't even fine while it lasted to be honest.  But I was unapproved and it was the best I can get.  But I can send and receive PMs now and honestly I can do waaaaaaaaaaaaay better than you.  Did you honestly think it would last once you weren't literally the only one for me?  Pfffft.  Get over yourself.

K
xxx

[TheLegionary]

Too many words. I go straight to the point. How do you want me to drool at you if you do not even have a sexy avatar????

[Kythia]

I can't believe I've done this.  I promised myself I wouldn't.  But you mention you'd like me to have an avatar and what do i do?   I get one and then come running up to you for your approval like a pet.

I'm so TheLegionary, but I have to be strong.  I'm spending all my time trying to please you and its not good for either of us.  I think we need some time apart.

You know, if that's alright with you.

[Cayenne]

Hay Kythia!

Pa says if I dun start' marry'n wit muh cussins 'n stop mak'n babeh jebus cry' wit' muh she devilry wit'you 'ets gunna be me burn'n in hell while he's shout'n 'Told you so' fum the pearly gates. He says once I gots muh cussins babeh 'en muh belleh that I'll be 'appier then a pig'n stink for cussins man stick! I aent sure bout that, but cussin says we can rub a fire a'tween us when he'aen't aroun' so long as he get's ta be watch'n sumtimes!

Cussins rules are prett'e strict tho' says no affection'n wit you's 'an no screw'n animals o' higher intelligences then 'im eithers.

Caycay~

[Caremejo]

Too stunned and amused by your breakup with Kythia to be clever. So,

We done. L8R.

Jo

[Kythia]

I think I've been reasonable here.  When you wanted to try me tied up I said fine.  On the second day when, instead of untying me, you just brought those guys home from the bar and let them loose, I didn't complain.  I must confess on day three I did think you were releasing me.  But when it turned out you were just turning me over so the bar guys could explore strange new worlds I didn't say a word.  Day four - with the video cameras and whatever it was the used me I said nothing.  Even when I heard how much money the videos would make.  Sure, part of that was the ball gag, I guess, but part was just me wanting to help you "be a bit more adventurous".  I'm pretty easy going.

Obviously I was blindfolded for most of day five.  I presume that was the bar guys again?  There seemed to be a lot more of them?  But I was still happy to let you explore your kinky side.

But you know what?  It's Thursday and I'm missing "How I Met Your Mother" and that's where I draw the line.  Untie me, we're through.

[TheLegionary]

Kythia,
You have a hot avatar now, but you speak too much! You off!
TL

[Outsider]

TheLegionary,

you're supposed to be marching towards Cannae to face Hannibal.
You being here can only mean you have deserted, and thus must die now.
I will always love you, though.

[Kythia]

You know what I hate, TheOutsider?  The outside.  It's windy and cold.  There's no TV.  I can't just slob around in my dressing gown.  Honest to god it, and by extension you, has no redeeming features whatsoever.

Later, loser.

[TheLegionary]

I thought you disliked the silence. Why are you asking me to be quiet when you speak too much? I hate your contradictions. I prefer living by my own. You off!

[Caremejo]

 I only dated you because I heard you once went out with Kythia. I wanted to improve my Six Degrees of Kythia number. Now that we’ve dated, I can’t think of a reason to prolong “us” for another minute.


Ciao.

[Cayenne]

Caremejo,

It was costly, I admit.  Having all that facial reconstruction done, voice box (Learning to talk again is a bitch!), not to mention the things the doctors did to my body! All this insurmountable debt; well it'll be well worth the look on your face when I dump YOU this time.

Yeah, whose crazy now bitch!?

Yours, Cay

[TheLegionary]

Cayenne,
I thought you were a sorceress and you turned out to be a witch. I dont like the dark side of the force, so I have to leave.
Hugs,
TL

[Cayenne]

Dear Legionary,

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I hope when you read this,
You're going boohoo.

Too artsy for ya? I found this diagram to explain it to you.

Just in case you're wondering that's your heart I'm throwing in the trash.

Still nothing? Let me spell it out in nice neat capital letters then. Are you ready? Are you sure? Maybe you should take a nap first, and then come back and read this, because I really want it to sink in.

IT IS OVER, WE ARE NO LONGER DATING, I AM BREAKING UP WITH YOU. I AM OKAY WITH THIS. I AM NOT JUST ASKING FOR MORE SEX.  I WILL NOT GET YOU A BEER ON THE WAY OUT. NO YOU MAY NOT HAVE MY SISTERS NUMBER. IT IS OVER.  IT MEANING, OUR RELATIONSHIP.

There, have a nice life, I know I will.

Cay~

[TheLegionary]

* cries*

That was too much for my feelings!

[Kythia]

I want a real man, The Legionary.  Not someone who's gonna just cry like a bitch everytime something goes wrong.  Ring me if you ever grow a pair, but until then we're through.

[TheLegionary]

We have to break up now. You dont like sensitive men - go after your hunky type, who will beat you for nothing. You deserve each other.

[Cayenne]

Dear Legionary,

At first I was all like... OHMYGOSHHE'SSOHANDSOMEANDSTRONG and then I was all... ALRIGHTSOCARRYINGCINDERBLOCKSEVERYWHEREISALITTLEWEIRDBUTHE'SJUSTTRYINGTOSTAYINSHAPE and then I was like OKAYNOPUTTHEFREAKINGTHINGSDOWNWHIlLEWE'REINBEDGEEZE and now I'm all I'MTAKINGYOUFREAKINGBLOCKSANDLEAVINGYOU.

So yeah. Bye.

Cay~

[Lyniara Rosewalker]

Cayenne,
I know when you hear this at first you'll be all like 'OHMYGOSHNOSHEDIDNOTJUSTSAYTHATTOME!' but I'm tired of the way you act, tired of the way you speak to me, I can't even understand what you're saying half the time the way you ramble! You still love that cinder block carrying man and I know it! I'm through with this. Go find a doormat because I refuse to be yours! I won't let you just walk all over me! This is Over! You don't even take this seriously, you don't even seem to care about me or to take me seriously and it hurts me more and more every time our eyes meet! You spend so much time talking, Maybe you should spent some time Listening for once in your life! But consider me out of your life.

[Cayenne]

Dear Misses, I'm so fancy I get two names.

You know what, I need space! Things were fun while you were all - in other places - traveling the world, whatever it is you do with your free time when not thinking about how hot, and awesome I am (Where you find any time away from that is beyond me) was just fine! I could show up after a long night in the club, and you'd be all peacefully sleeping then BAM! Right on your cute little bum!  Remember that one time you nearly had a heart attack? No? I guess the EMT never told you.

Anyway, now you're joining Elliquiy and I feel little crowded - like soon you'll want some kind of real relationship not middle of the night booty calls. I mean, seriously I can't be tied down! (Turns out you can! Sorry about that whole, football team thing - I figured they just liked to watch)

Anyway, I'm cutting you off here before we end up holding hands during the day time or some stuff~

Cay~

[Kythia]

This is embarassing for both of us now, Cayenne.  I'm fairly certain I've dumped you like three times.  I don't know what else to do.  Changing my number was a hassle.  Blocking your emails was easier.  I'm not moving house just to avoid you, I'm not letting you control my life like that.

I don't need to dump you again Cayenne because we're ALREADY THROUGH.  Stop contacting me.  A copy of this letter is also being sent to my lawyer and I'm sure you'll  be hearing from him soon. 

Have some self respect

K