Has anyone ever...lost an online friend?

[Leonis]

The person that ignored me just apologized to me. How do I bring up the debt that she still owes without making her ignore me again?

[Serephino]

You don't.  No matter what, that in game gold is gone.  And after all that, do you really want to be her friend again.  He/she will probably just end up trying to use you again.

[MzNurse]

GodDAMMIT! I've been had!

I talked to a friend of this person and found that it was not a she but a he, and that he made up that story to explain why he won't be using that account anymore! He faked his own death to weasel out of a large debt he owed! When I confronted him on this, he put me on ignore! Now what!? How do I track him down!?

Really sorry to hear this, Leonis. I've lost really good friends that I've met online, and had some, like this, that faked it. The pain of the loss is great in both cases, but the feelings of betrayal with the latter can outweigh the pain, depending on how close you (thought you) were.

My advice? Let it go. If he was truly the friend that deserved you, he never would have betrayed you this way. Step back, let it go, and know that you did nothing wrong.  It's all on him.

[TheWriter]

Yeah, it was. Know one thing: being INfamous amont the MUGEN community does not necessarily means the truth. For example, I am part of the brazilian Mugen community (MugenBR), and for a long time we were quite infamous ourselves, in special P.O.T.S, ExInferis and Loganir, three members that are wonderful people themselves, in special POTS, that used to laugh at my jokes =3

You're a friend of the infamous PotS, eh?  I know him through the Guild crowd, I'd generally make a big bunch of palettes for most of his characters, bit of feedback.  Big fan of his work, but then again who isn't?

And I didn't meet Reu per se, but I knew him.  Offered the odd bit of criticism for his Mugen stuff.

[Red Tressed Imp]

I met this woman and started chatting with her. I spent four hours talking to her that first day. Shortly after I said goodbye, she IMed me again to tell me she felt like she really needed to tell me that she was really a guy.

His name was Jonny, and he said that he was 22, gay, and a former model. He told me that his dad had died, and he lived with his boyfriend and his mom. He told me a lot of things, but mainly, he taught me a lot. When my daughter told me that she was gay, I handled it perfectly, because of Jonny.

Jonny and I got close in real life too. Though we never met, we spent hours on the phone. A few years ago, around Halloween, Jonny wasn't answering his cell phone. A few days after that, someone answered his phone. Once I said who I was, this person introduced himself as Jonny's significant other, and went on to say, "Honey, I'm sorry to tell you this, but Jonny died a few days ago."

It turns out that Jonny lied to me about everything. He was 26, lived with BOTH parents (his dad was still living), and none of his family knew that he was gay. He even had a pretend engagement with his best female friend so that his parents wouldn't figure it out. I could literally spend hours listing the things that he lied out. I even thought his death was a lie, until I read his obit and read comments from his friends and family.

Which kinda brings me to the biggest lie. He told me that he used to be overweight but had lost it all. Turns out, he was morbidly obese. He had chest pains, but put off going to the doctor because he was afraid of seeing the way the doctor looked at him. He finally gave in when he was having trouble breathing. His boyfriend took him to the hospital, but by the time they got him into an exam room, it was too late. He died of a pulmonary embolism.

It really hurt that he lied to me about so many things. Especially since some of it was stuff I really would have related to... being overweight, not liking to go out in public, being afraid that your family wouldn't accept the real you. I was furious with him for a long time, but that gradually melted away into an understanding that he didn't lie to hurt me. He just wanted to be someone else for short spaces of time, and online gave him that opportunity. The friendship we shared and the things he gave to me were real, in spite of the lies.

Leonis, I would honestly just chalk it up to a lesson learned. Never lend money unless you are perfectly fine with the idea that you will never get it back. Money just tends to get in the way of friendship, and even people with the very best of intentions screw up or have something happen where they can't pay you back. And money makes us all weird.

[Darkpoet]

I had a number of relatively decent online friends that I never saw again at one time or another. The one that still stings a little was one that I was rather close to...although we never thought of each other (well, to knowledge) in the romantic sense, we shared some of the deepest secrets we had. We talked for two years, and then, suddenly...nothing. I only knew her first name because we were both paranoid about giving out personal information...and I was too young to really think about looking her up, so I simply don't know what happened. Looking back on it, I find myself hoping that she simply got tired of me, or moved away and couldn't contact me...as the alternative is that something happened and she got hurt or died. It has been quite a few years and that thought still pains me quite a bit.

[darkvamplips]

Also I want to say sorry to everyone who has lost a friend online or in real life. It hurts deep down but the pain does go away. Red Tressed Imp your story touched me the most and I am sorry you had to go through that. Keep in mind people that you don't know the real person behind the computer. Lots of people meet online then when they meet in person they get killed. It's a lesson we should all be careful about. I found this guy once and he seemed pretty decent and he wanted to see me on cam. So I said not right now I would like to get to know you so we talked then I put on my cam. He did to and he was very good looking but then he took off his shirt, then his pants revealing something unpleasant in my eyes. I mean because I have a boyfriend. So I closed cam and told him I didn't want to see and he kept pestering me about it.