The Salonbox -For Exploration by Discussion

Started by The Great Triangle, May 30, 2008, 12:06:33 PM

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The Great Triangle

That's interesting.  I kind of prefer to form a bond by doing something paternal and nurturing.  Somehow, mothering shakes me up a bit.  Sexually, at any rate.  On the other hand, I think everyone can agree that soft things are cuddly and lovable.   :)
Meow!  I'm a kitty; made of fire.

Ons and Offs

Greenthorn

New Topic:

How much have you changed since you first came to Elliquiy? And how long have you been here?


I've been here for four months...and I have probably gotten a bit more serious.  Three months ago, I probably couldn't have cared less about any changes in Elliquiy...and well, we all know I'm an opinionated big mouth now *smiles*
 

The Lotus Eater

I joined in January this year, but took a big break.  I've actually lost a lot of confidence since coming here... and really closed up a lot I think.  I acquired a few friends but recently lost them all for various (pretty stupid) reasons.  Now I've kind of changed my policy here.  I used to be really keen to make friends as well as write/play, but now the only OOC interaction I do, aside from leaving the occasional comment, is the standard stuff.  You know, working out the details for games and all that.

It gets me down because I really like this place and I'm such a social person. *frowns*

~~~

Kalen

#278
I can completely understand, The Lotus Eater.  I used to be an open, social person on E, and by doing so, got burned a few times.  Now, I stick my nose into the Shoutbox, and will post an opinion or two, but my days of being social are done like last night's dinner.

I will happily PM and IM my friends, those I game with, and I'll look for new games now and again.  But I will never be a Steamboxer, and will never be the life of any parties.  I don't have it in me anymore.  Being social was always difficult for me at best, and now... it's just not something that I'm willing to do on a grand scale. 

I'm on Elliquiy to write.  That's why I joined, that's why I stay.  So to answer the original question, I've changed in that I started off quiet and closed, came out of my shell, and have come back to my original state.  edit; I've been here 10 months on the calendar, but took a two and a half month break.  So... seven and a half months.

The Lotus Eater

The saddest part is that I envy you for being over it, while I still feel bad about it, not to mention wistful.

OK, I'll stop being so miserable!  Sorry people!  ;D
~~~

Greenthorn

Quote from: The Lotus Eater on July 03, 2008, 08:01:04 AM
The saddest part is that I envy you for being over it, while I still feel bad about it, not to mention wistful.

OK, I'll stop being so miserable!  Sorry people!  ;D

Interesting...is it a fear of losing more new friends?

Kalen...I can understand...although............
 

Kalen


Greenthorn

Quote from: Kalen on July 03, 2008, 08:10:40 AM
Although?

Speak your mind, if you would.

okay...although I feel that you made a bad decision in being quiet.  What Cpt is to the steambox...you are to the shoutbox *shrugs*
 

Kalen

I still peruse the Shoutbox.  But I'm hardly going to recruit for it, or be it's central figure.  Or maybe you meant something else?

Greenthorn

Quote from: Kalen on July 03, 2008, 08:15:05 AM
I still peruse the Shoutbox.  But I'm hardly going to recruit for it, or be it's central figure.  Or maybe you meant something else?

Just your past activity has slowed down..a lot..

/hijack of her own question *giggles*
 

Sherona

Quote from: Greenthorn on July 03, 2008, 06:51:45 AM
New Topic:

How much have you changed since you first came to Elliquiy? And how long have you been here?


I've been here for four months...and I have probably gotten a bit more serious.  Three months ago, I probably couldn't have cared less about any changes in Elliquiy...and well, we all know I'm an opinionated big mouth now *smiles*

I have been here...almost 10 months myself...since sept of 07. I came here and quite literally the first seven months I could name you everyone I talked to on any real basis on one hand. without using my thumb...since I joined I feel that everthing has changed. Change is not something that I like. Its somethingI actively avoid. My personal life is probably the most natural change. Before E me and my husband just dabbled in BDSM, I was ina very bad relationship before him, and though I knew he enjoyed living the lifestyle rather then jus tdabbling in the bedroom I was too meh...yeah its hard to explain. Its not that I didn't trust him. I didn't trust myself. however being on E, talkign wtih others who live the lifestyle, and what not mine and husbands relationship slowly evolved to now I am his submissive in every sense of the word. And I couldn't be happier about that.

I have started to force myself out of my shell. I still have to force myself on days to talk in the steambox more then a line or two here or there. I am still working on that ebcause Husband wants me to, but also because yeah I miss out alot in life due to my quirks.

Kalen

#286
Quote from: Greenthorn on July 03, 2008, 08:16:24 AM
Just your past activity has slowed down..a lot..

/hijack of her own question *giggles*

Well... people change.  I don't have the energy to be what I was, or the inclination.  I hardly think that anyone is missing out, as most of my contribution is just pop in, snark on, and pop out anyway *lol*

The Lotus Eater

Quote from: Greenthorn on July 03, 2008, 08:08:14 AM
Interesting...is it a fear of losing more new friends?

Not so much, more like I don't want to expose people to whatever part of me is, in part, pushing them away.  I got the feeling other people weren't keen to make conversation, so I decided to try and act the same way myself. 

There are various reasons though.  With Sherona for example, it's only that she's a super busy Siren now with no time for idle chat.  ;D
~~~

Sherona

Quote from: The Lotus Eater on July 03, 2008, 08:41:58 AM
Not so much, more like I don't want to expose people to whatever part of me is, in part, pushing them away.  I got the feeling other people weren't keen to make conversation, so I decided to try and act the same way myself. 

There are various reasons though.  With Sherona for example, it's only that she's a super busy Siren now with no time for idle chat.  ;D

*smiles* My PM box is always open hun, I always have time for PM's.

ShrowdedPoet

#289
Ok.  In the Shout box we were having a sterotype conversation and I feel it needs expansion so I've come here to discuss it!

Below is the conversation as it was in the shout box. . .

Today at 11:12:19 am - Lithos - I believe it is more of a place / proffession thing, if I went to tattoo parlor without anyone 
Today at 11:12:29 am - Lithos - dressing skanky, I would feel cheated   
Today at 11:12:59 am - Lithos - in coastal area of town, would be a bit different on other side, so guess depends on neighbourhood 
Today at 11:13:06 am - ShrowdedPoet - . . .ok. . .I wouldn't. . . 
Today at 11:13:27 am - Sabbat - hahaha, so if you went to Jersy and didn't get mugged, you'd feel cheated? 
Today at 11:13:32 am - ShrowdedPoet - I don't mind the way people dress as long as I get quality work. . . 
Today at 11:13:38 am - Lithos - Excactly! 
Today at 11:13:39 am - Sabbat - "The brochure lied" 
Today at 11:13:48 am - Lithos - People and areas need to live up to expectations 
Today at 11:14:34 am - ShrowdedPoet - *laughs*  So you expect the only people who would work in that industry MUST dress skankily? 
Today at 11:15:01 am - Lithos - noo no, those who work in certain kind of tattoo parlor, we have at least two different sorts here   
Today at 11:15:12 am - Sherona - people who live up to expectations often are just promoting stereotypes   
Today at 11:15:25 am - Lithos - cheaper places near harbor and more expensive ones around where all punk kiddies hang   
Today at 11:15:31 am - ShrowdedPoet - *sighs*  so what are these two different kinds of parlors? 
Today at 11:15:44 am - Lithos - Stereotypes are around for a good reason usually though   
Today at 11:15:53 am - Sherona - *blinks* 
Today at 11:16:00 am - Seraph - bah time to put on a mini skirt, corset fishnets and knee high boot.  wish it could be jeans and a t 
Today at 11:16:11 am - ShrowdedPoet - That's rediculus!  Just because I grew up poor, live in a poor area, and am poor I should live up to 
Today at 11:16:17 am - ShrowdedPoet - being poor? 
Today at 11:16:46 am - Lithos - Cheaper ones with worse service but much more interesting surroundings x.x, and a bit more expensive 
Today at 11:16:49 am - ShrowdedPoet - Stereotypes are normally WRONG!     
Today at 11:16:58 am - Lithos - ones with better service but much more boring people pretty much   
Today at 11:17:05 am - Sherona - I speak German, should I start goose stepping and being all sourpuss and unibrowed? 
Today at 11:17:15 am - Lithos - Are they? 
Today at 11:17:31 am - RandomBloke - No. You should drink alot of beer and eat WIENERS 
Today at 11:17:34 am - ShrowdedPoet - Just because someone can't afford to own a fancy parlor doesn't mean they should look trashy. . . 
Today at 11:17:58 am - Lithos - I think that some 60-70% of the people actually conform to the mold where they are   
Today at 11:18:40 am - Lithos - It is not even near to everyone, but it is enough to make the stereotypes exist 
Today at 11:18:56 am - Sherona - or is it that society forces them into the mold? 
Today at 11:19:45 am - Lithos - It does not really matter as long as they are in the mold   
Today at 11:19:55 am - Lithos - hehheh, this reminds me of that prisoner EP again   
Today at 11:20:14 am - ShrowdedPoet - I agree with Sherona and I think this is a debate better suited to more characters 
Today at 11:20:33 am - Lithos - how did it go again, Society is people existing together, that makes civilization 
Today at 11:20:49 am - ShrowdedPoet - soooo what do you say we head to the salonbox?  Thos interested in this convo feel free to follow 
Today at 11:20:56 am - Lithos - Lone wolf belongs to the forest, so society must do everything it can so that there are no 
Today at 11:21:09 am - Sherona - Indeed SP 
Today at 11:21:11 am - Lithos - Lone wolves and that everyone conforms to what they think their place should be   
Today at 11:21:21 am - Trieste - What are y'all talking about? O_o 
Today at 11:21:58 am - Lithos - About wether there is any truth behind stereotypes usually   
Today at 11:23:33 am - Sherona - Well we were debating whether stereotyping was a good thing or bad... 
Kiss the hand that beats you.
Sexuality isn't a curse, it's a gift to embrace and explore!
Ons and Offs


Lithos

Hehheh, easier here definitely. So, how i think stereotypes work.. and i think they do work is like so:

1. Certain things promote certain behaviour.. surroundings, proffession, clientiele, friends, climate, everything around where you live basically
2. Society promotes certain behaviour... you are wanted to act in certain way and fill certain position to serve the best, it might come from what you are taught, it might come from ton of other things as well.. media being the most powerful influence.. movies, commercials, every normal part of our daily brain wash

End result is that if some person is in group that has some stereotype... there usually really is at least 60% chance if not more that they really do fit that stereotype / mold.
There is no innocence, only layers upon layers of guilt
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Sherona

Stereotype- stereotypes - fixed impressions, exaggerated or preconceived ideas about particular social groups, usually based solely on physical appearance.

A common stereotype is : An african American male will excel in sports of all kind, of all physical activities.

Ok so this is not necessarily a bad thing, except when it becomes so bad that when one person sees a black man they automatically see a Basketball/football/baseball Jersey rather then what this man actually is accomplished in.

ShrowdedPoet

I feel that Stereotyping is wrong and doesn't work.  Society forces images on people which leaves them stressed.  Either you conform or you are outcast.  You become outcast. . .they just make up a new group for you so you HAVE to fit into a Stereotype.  It's cheating. 

I grew up in a Christian, predjudiced, farming, small/closed minded, poor area.  So I should be a predjudiced christian who is closed mined, poor, and into farming.  But I'm not.  I chose a different path.  I am pagan, not predjudiced, I'm not big on farming, I'm open minded and though I am poor I do not look poor, I do not fit the poor stereotype. 

If you feel people HAVE to conform to something you get our shoutbox convo about how you expect people who work at a poor tat parlor to look trashy.  Just because you don't have the money to run a rich lookin place doesn't mean that you have to or should look trashy!
Kiss the hand that beats you.
Sexuality isn't a curse, it's a gift to embrace and explore!
Ons and Offs


Lithos

Stereotypes are things much more profound than just coming from physical appearance. Also, long gonen are the days when we make our stereotypes ourselves. They are made for us all the time, you see them every time you open your tv and see a commercial or some movie.

Nerds are physically weak and wear glasses, bad guys have beard (yes, we do), germans are punctual, having a child is sign of maturity, the better looking car, the easier to get laid (scarily much true)... the list goes on and on.

There are exceptions to each stereotype, but still by large there are enough cases where the image does fit, be them in film or real life that the stereotype really is true for us. There is no person who would have none, and there is no stereotype that exists without any reason.
There is no innocence, only layers upon layers of guilt
--
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ShrowdedPoet

Quote from: Lithos on July 08, 2008, 10:32:53 AM
having a child is sign of maturity

BULL!  90% of the mothers and fathers in my area are drug addicts, in jail, drunk, not mature, not good parents. . .
Kiss the hand that beats you.
Sexuality isn't a curse, it's a gift to embrace and explore!
Ons and Offs


Lithos

QuoteI grew up in a Christian, predjudiced, farming, small/closed minded, poor area.  So I should be a predjudiced christian who is closed mined, poor, and into farming.  But I'm not.

And there is veritable ton of others who are, the stereotype works in general

Quotethough I am poor I do not look poor, I do not fit the poor stereotype.  

Ton of others do, so again the stereotype works in general

QuoteJust because you don't have the money to run a rich lookin place doesn't mean that you have to or should look trashy!

Yet many do, and it does not change by trying to think that exception actually is the rule
There is no innocence, only layers upon layers of guilt
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Lithos

Stereotypes are generalizations, they are not supposed to work on everyone. And I think that we have even more people here than usual who do not wish to conform to stereotypes, I definitely dont.

It does not mean that stereotypes themselves would be wrong though, as long as they apply to more cases than they dont they do work.
There is no innocence, only layers upon layers of guilt
--
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Sherona

QuoteNerds are physically weak and wear glasses, bad guys have beard (yes, we do), germans are punctual, having a child is sign of maturity, the better looking car, the easier to get laid (scarily much true)... the list goes on and on.

1. if we are going to use statistics we should have proof of said numbers ;)


2. Ok so I need to go divorce my husband because he has  abeard, hell he might be a very bad man indeed. Oh and he does have enough computer knowledge, electronic knowledge, and technological knowledge to be considered a nerd, so I will go right now and tell him to quit lifting so many heavy objects and to get himself a pocket protector because yeah he is a nerd so he has to look the part.


ShrowdedPoet

Quote from: Lithos on July 08, 2008, 10:36:24 AM
And there is veritable ton of others who are, the stereotype works in general

Ton of others do, so again the stereotype works in general

Yet many do, and it does not change by trying to think that exception actually is the rule

Maybe the reason why all these people are fitting these molds is because society tells them they're never be anything better.  People like you think and tell them they aren't any better, they shouldn't  be anything better, and they'll NEVER be anything better than just a Stereotype.  They can't make their own path so why try?
Kiss the hand that beats you.
Sexuality isn't a curse, it's a gift to embrace and explore!
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Lithos

QuotePeople like you think and tell them they aren't any better, they shouldn't  be anything better, and they'll NEVER be anything better than just a Stereotype.

When have I said anything about that... you have not really read anything that I have said have you

This conversation is about wether stereotypes are correct or not. They are more often correct than not. This conversation has nothing to do with wether stereotypes are right or wrong in moral sense, this is about wether they are true.

Godposting is annoying even in games Poet, so do not put words in my mouth.
There is no innocence, only layers upon layers of guilt
--
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