Friendship.

[crystaltears]

I know I said the next one would be on subs and slaves, but apparently I lied. My Muse is like a Mistress. When she makes demands my will is bent to her whim.

That said, this blog is about friendship.

The layers of relationships are so varied. There's lovers of the truly, madly, deeply persuasion. There's couples who are less in love, but still close. There's casual couples. There's family. There's friends. Acquaintances, rivals, enemies... Many, many more layers of the onion I haven't touched on... But for me, today, my thoughts were about friends.

So many times in life people wonder what drives friends asunder. I have an answer, one I'm loathe to admit, but we do. Friendship is so much more than nice words, pretty sayings, shopping sprees, and shared hobbies. Friendship is about connection.

To get the most out of friendship you have to put into it. You have to really listen when you talk with others, and they have to as well. You have to trust, to give faith, to support, to accept. Friendship is about true connections.

What is a friendship that fades in years? Does it fade because we have gone separate ways? Perhaps this is what we say, but it's really that we've let go.

I had a very strange friendship in my middle school and high school years. The -only- thing the girl and I had in common was our first name. Everything else we were like night and day. She was popular; I was a geek. She was short; I was tall. She was good at school through hard work and effort; I skated by on A-B-Cs with little to no effort on my part.

We had no common friends, we had no common interests, and we had no classes together... But when we got together...

I remember taking her popular, preppy self on a hike through the woods by my house. I went barefoot (yeah, I'm a crazy lady), and we actually waded the length of a creek in the woods. She was delighted, the whole time she talked, and I listened. She told me about things she hadn't told anyone else before. Things she couldn't tell her 'friends' because if she did they might ostracize her.

I talked less during our times together than she did, admittedly, but I liked it that way. She shared her life with me, and I shared her secrets. I gave her counsel, she gave me some as well (on fashion *giggles*). We were great.

We never really saw each other much, and when we graduated from high school she let go. She did not give me a forwarding phone number or method of contact, and so our friendship is still here, but dormant. Should she pop back up we might take another hike through the woods, you never know.


I suppose, friendship is a precious gift, much like trust. It's one we build with our friends. Each brings their own to it. If we argue, we can choose then to work through it, to keep building, or we can let it go. Anger, passion, happiness, sorrow.. Feelings so close to the human heart. We share them, and we share each other, with our chosen counsel. For quite some time my chosen counsel was always made of things which couldn't respond. My horse, my dog, my teddy bear *blushes*. I'm happy to say I have people in it now, who I trust deeply and love well.

They have built a glorious thing with me, be it across miles, or near at hand. We share our person, we share our fears and our strengths, and we share our compassion.

Friendship is not built on the things we have in common, but rather on the things we are willing to build together.

[Mnemaxa]

So very true.  Lovely work, Crystaltears.

[adventurer]

Absolutely true!

[Desan]

This was an excellent post, like usual.

[Will]

Yes, wonderful as always. :)

High school friends do seem to drift apart more often than not.  I think this part really sums it up:

To get the most out of friendship you have to put into it. You have to really listen when you talk with others, and they have to as well. You have to trust, to give faith, to support, to accept. Friendship is about true connections

You're exactly right, in my experience at least.  Friendship is not a given, it's not automatic.  It takes effort and time.  People in high school are still in a process of defining themselves, and are just a tad bit self-absorbed.  As well they should be!  It's warranted and normal.  It's just not all that great for maintaining friendships.

Once out of high school, people are no longer forced to interact on a daily basis, and it's only natural that they drift apart.  It's sad, but it really seems to happen nearly every time.  I've heard that the friends you make in your twenties are the ones that will really stick.  However, I'm still there, so I can't really confirm or deny that, heh.

Anyway, I hope some part of that made sense!  And thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. :)