Perverted Wishes

[DiverseDesires]

granted - eveyone you have ever cared for is now trapped forever in the films you placed them in

I wish buttered toast had zero calories

[Aelynn]

As if by magic, all of the cars that had ever run a red light disappear, leaving the roads more or less empty.

Unfortunately, as you were concentrating on your wish, you skipped a red light too....

***

I wish my hands and feet weren't always so cold!

[Parlabane]

Granted. The prosthetics we've replaced them with don't feel the cold.

I wish I was a better cook.

[mrsjaz]

Granted,
You cook like a champion, and win awards. But you cannot help eating your marvellous creations… and yes you guessed it, you get bigger and bigger, until you can no longer cook or move. 

I wish to have two (non violent) male strangers in my bed, pleasuring my body.  ;)

[Insanityenviesme]

Granted...only they aren't exactly of your species unless you have fur on you too!

I wish for my damn exams to end!

[zoarster]

Granted, they all end when you are expelled for cheating!

I wish I could have Thanksgiving dinner more often.

[mrsjaz]

Granted,
Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings delivered to you door more often, in fact everyday for a whole year, until you are sick of the sight of all that food.

Gosh I wish I wasn’t so frightened of thunder storms.

*hides while lightning crashes over her head* .

[LaMiaVita]

Your wish is granted. At the next lottery draw you have the winning ticket and immediately quite your job. On the way to collect your winnings a gust of wind knocks your golden ticket out of your hand and it goes down the gutter, never to be seen again.

I wish I didn't have to pay my rent.

[mrsjaz]

Granted.
Telekinesis, one of the greatest of powers is given to you, at first you control everything and manage your new powers well, but unfortunately the power proves too great for you, it overwhelms you, and you become mad.

I wish to live my life again, but this time, benefiting from my mistakes.   


@ EroticWinged -  Thanks that would distract me I think. ;D
       

[Star Safyre]

I wish to live my life again, but this time, benefiting from my mistakes.       

You got it!  Too bad you make worse mistakes instead.

I wish to be able to be paid enough to make a decent living by role-playing on E!

[Endorphin]

Granted, but your passion soon becomes a chore when you feel that you are forced to perform in order to make a living.

I wish for an attractive woman who would willingly fulfil my every desire upon command.

[Villain]

Wish granted, but after a while her obediant nature leads you to approach the big question of 'aren't we all just attractive women who willingly fulfil all the desires of the big game called life'. You think too hard about the question and your brain implodes.

I wish to become the god of a country.

[Captain Maltese]

Your wish is granted. You are now the God of Canada. Do enjoy your permanent holiday.

I wish I had a magically refilling firewood shed.

[Amelita]

Wish granted, your firewood shed now fills up with snow every single night.


I wish I had extra 5 hours in the day...

[Villain]

Wish granted but that makes your job five hours longer.

I wish I could talk to animals

[Star Safyre]

I wish I could talk to animals

Talk all you like!  They still don't listen.


I wish I could win big on Jeopardy!

[Star Safyre]

I wish I had my own spaceship.

It's yours!

The government says this new spaceship is all yours, tax and cost free!  Now you just have to figure out how to get it fixed and off your house.  You also learn the interesting fact that your insurance does not cover objects falling from outer space.


I wish it was Winter Break starting tomorrow.

[Brian Boru]

I wish it was Winter Break starting tomorrow.

Granted.

But as soon as winter break is declared, the 100 year blizzard moves in, covering only your town in a 48" blanket of ice and snow that doesn't melt until the day before you have to go back to work.

I wish I had a vehicle that the heat worked in.

[DiverseDesires]

Granted.

But as soon as winter break is declared, the 100 year blizzard moves in, covering only your town in a 48" blanket of ice and snow that doesn't melt until the day before you have to go back to work.

I wish I had a vehicle that the heat worked in.

I does, stuck on hot, on all the time, even in the middle of summer, burning your toes   >:)

I wish I could see the touring Donmar Wharehouse production of King Lear with Derek Jacobi next year at the Theatre Royal in Bath

[Sweet Trouble]

I wish I could see the touring Donmar Wharehouse production of King Lear with Derek Jacobi next year at the Theatre Royal in Bath

Wish Granted!

Your win VIP passes to the  preformance of you dreams. Afterwards you will get to me the Derek Jacobi. After you are setted it is announced that Mr. Jacobi has laryngitis and Weird Al Yankovic is his understudy who will to fill in for the performance. 

I wish I had a pet dragon. (I know I know always be careful what you wish for.)

[Aria]

the dragon is 30X bigger than you expected it to be, eats any of your friends who come near you, and is not potty trained. good luck.

I wish to be highly skilled at everything.

[Prototype]

Wish granted, you are placed into a small box which is sent into outer space where there is no sound until the end of mad time, and never released you'll have all the peace you want.

I wish I knew what to wish.

[Villain]

Wish granted, however it's your classical moment of 'the build up is better than the pay off' you are so unbelievably disappointed by the wish you just decide to wish for a Ferrari instead, which you grudgingly admit isn't what you really wanted.

I wish their were less 3d films

[Aria]

your wish is granted. film itself is shrunken to the point that it only takes up one plane of space, however this makes it so thin that if it is handled, it breaks. There are now no movies, no pictures, and no T.V. because the film to make them cannot be used.

((trying to think of what i wish i weren't skilled at...i know there's something...:p))

I wish that each word that doesn't rhyme with anything would get a word that rhymes with it.

[Jburkeinca]

Wish granted, but every word that doesn't rhyme with anything now rhymes with a bad curse word!

I wish I owned a successful business.