Perverted Wishes

Started by Ellyssa, September 15, 2006, 11:50:39 AM

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Paradox

Quote from: Great Triangle on May 29, 2008, 10:26:33 PM
Granted, but its awesomeness causes a time paradox and resets back to the rabbit.

I wish your ass tasted better

Sorry, I shit myself every time I see that horrendous hare.

But, because you wished--granted. I washed it twice.

I wish three nubile asians would shave it for me.


"More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality."-Robert A. Baker

Kalen

Granted.  Unfortunately, they're shaving it in order to prepare it for the invasion of a million tentacles from their Lovecraftian god.

I wish that there were more hours in the day.

Paradox

Granted, but you go into a constant epiletic seizure during those extra hours, so they aren't really of any use to you.

I wish I could finish waking up.


"More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality."-Robert A. Baker

ShrowdedPoet

Granted, you're fully awake, forever.

I wish that pedophiles would all be brutally murdered.
Kiss the hand that beats you.
Sexuality isn't a curse, it's a gift to embrace and explore!
Ons and Offs


Kalen

Done.  But you're falsely accused... and have no recourse or defense.  Nice knowing you...

I wish that carrots tasted like french fries.

ShrowdedPoet

Granted now frenchfries taiste like carrots.

I wish that I had a way to proove my innocents.
Kiss the hand that beats you.
Sexuality isn't a curse, it's a gift to embrace and explore!
Ons and Offs


The Great Triangle

Granted.  It turned out that reality was a lie all along.  Old man jenkins was putting on a mask to scare people away and lower the property values on this part of the multiverse so he could get it cheap.

I wish I was a smart as old man jenkins.
Meow!  I'm a kitty; made of fire.

Ons and Offs

ShrowdedPoet

Granted now old man jinkins is a dumb as you (just a joke no offense).

I wish that I had a tuna salad sandwich. . .mmmmmm
Kiss the hand that beats you.
Sexuality isn't a curse, it's a gift to embrace and explore!
Ons and Offs


Muff Diver

Granted. Here's a whole tuna and some lettuce leaves stuck in two slices of stale bread. Enjoy!  ;D

I wish that I could live each and every one of my fantasies.
My special kink list!

MusicNeverDies

Granted, but they are all preformed by someone INCREDIBLY unattractive.

I wish that I was a famous author.

ShrowdedPoet

Granted, you're famous cause everything you write sucks.

I wish that I didn't always apoligize to my husband when he's the one that did something wrong.
Kiss the hand that beats you.
Sexuality isn't a curse, it's a gift to embrace and explore!
Ons and Offs


MusicNeverDies

Granted, but from now on everything actually is your fault.

I wish I could be in a play on Broadway.

Paradox

Granted, but you're an extra with no lines who has to wear the worst costume of the entire cast.

I wish that I could sleep in a bed of bunnies.


"More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality."-Robert A. Baker

Kalen

As you do, you get humped to death by the constantly reproducing horde.  Anya was right, bunnies are evil.

I wish that I had the 1.5 hours of my life that were just wasted by that meeting back.

ShrowdedPoet

Wish granted, you spend that time going to another meeting that's even worse.

I wish that people that I know didn't die so close together.
Kiss the hand that beats you.
Sexuality isn't a curse, it's a gift to embrace and explore!
Ons and Offs


Paradox

Granted, they all die at once, thus leaving you alone and wondering why you didn't die too.

I wish alcohol didn't leave you all groggy the next morning.


"More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality."-Robert A. Baker

ShrowdedPoet

Granted it kills you so you don't see the next morning.

I wish that people would take the hint that Judge Porter is on vacation and stop calling for him!
Kiss the hand that beats you.
Sexuality isn't a curse, it's a gift to embrace and explore!
Ons and Offs


Paradox

Granted. No one ever calls for him again. Everyone forgets that he's a Judge, so he eventually loses his job; consequently, so do you.

I wish that the moon really was made of cheese.


"More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality."-Robert A. Baker

ShrowdedPoet

Granted, you eat it all become very constipated and the world ends because we no longer have a moon.

I wish that my head didn't hurt so bad!
Kiss the hand that beats you.
Sexuality isn't a curse, it's a gift to embrace and explore!
Ons and Offs


Mathim

Granted, but Major Payne comes and takes away your head pain by breaking your finger, thus transferring all pain into your finger instead.

I wish the whole world found overweight people as attractive as supermodels.
Considering a permanent retirement from Elliquiy, but you can find me on Blue Moon (under the same username).

The Great Triangle

Granted.  Unfortunately, you're the last person left of supermodel attractiveness, and can't get a date.



I wish I had a beautiful catgirl who would follow my every command.
Meow!  I'm a kitty; made of fire.

Ons and Offs

Mathim

Granted, but she's incredibly dirty and ugly and almost unbearable to even touch.

I wish my gay friend and all the other gay people in the world were accepted and not prejudiced against.
Considering a permanent retirement from Elliquiy, but you can find me on Blue Moon (under the same username).

Paradox

Granted. Homosexuality becomes the norm, and the human race dies out due to a lack of procreation/reproduction.

I wish the lambs weren't so silent.


"More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality."-Robert A. Baker

Maeven

Granted and now they "Bah-bah-bah-bah" ALL NIGHT LONG and you can never sleep again. 

I wish that I could be in two places at one time.
What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way.
What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you.
What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way.
What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you. 


The Cardinal Rule

Paradox

Granted. Now you're having a conversation with your mother in-law AND your mother at the same time.

I wish leather furniture wasn't so expensive.


"More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality."-Robert A. Baker