Corrupt a wish

[Boatman]

Granted, an appointment with the rack has been booked for you.

I wish I could help more people.
(feels sick)

[Monkeys Razor]

Granted every day people will approach you for help, I hope you have plenty of time and money to help them out. No one of course will repay their debts or even say thank you.

I wish I could type faster.

[Belle33]

Granted, but every other word you type is misspelled and people just get tired of trying to figure out what you're saying.

I wish I didn't have a headache. 

[BlueMaiden88]

Granted, but now you have diarrhea. 

I wish I had some cheese pizza.

[Belle33]

Granted, sadly, the pizza has given you diarrhea.  Hmm.. I didn't know you were lactose intolerant.  Sorry about that.

I wish I were more persuasive.

[Beguile's Mistress]

Your wish has been granted.  All it takes is one look from your beautiful eyes and people are convinced to go your way whether you want them too or not.  Now you are being followed by an army of the persuaded.

I wish I was more powerful.

[Adammair]

Granted. You are so powerful that everything you touch crumbles instantly to dust from the sheer force.

I wish to win the jackpot on the slot machine at the casino.

[Chasseybaby]

Granted ! But it's the penny machine and all you get is $2 in change...

Wish I could experience a hard core orgasm....

[Adammair]

Um, by all means, granted! Shall I give you more? >:)

I wish to be able to have multiple orgasms. ;D

[Chasseybaby]

Ops I keep forgetting this is the pg page >.< my bad

Granted! Your orgasms come with a rotating hourglass when loading ^^

Wish for a nice surprise today!

[Adammair]

Oh, right...PG... *acts innocent*

Hmm...to corrupt a wish for a "nice surprise"? This is almost too easy.

Granted! You are surprised by a lost family of extra-terrestrials looking for the far end of the Milky Way Galaxy...

I wish for a cat that can be trained like a dog.

[Monkeys Razor]

Granted you have a cat that can be trained like a dog but it's still cat, it still hates you.

*Braces for all the cat lovers who will hunt me down now*

I wish I had a whale

[Adammair]

Granted! You are immediately swallowed by said whale. Did I forget to mention it's a killer whale?

I wish for the perfect cup of coffee.

[Monkeys Razor]

Granted you have the perfect cup of coffee, it even refills itself, the problem is you develop an allergic reaction to coffee beans and can never drink without the risk of death.

I wish to be a muscle man.

[Mercurio123]

granted, but due to typos galore you are now a mussel man, you just can't get enough of mussels.

I wish I had some tasty lasagna.

[Prototype]

You had some tasty lasagna... at your presence, but someone ate it.

I wish I had a succubus.

[MiraMirror]

Granted, but she is, strangely enough, devoutly chaste and refuses to pleasure anyone.
I wish Outback Steakhouse's service was decent like it used to be.

[Chasseybaby]

Granted! Though the food has lost its deliciousness now that ripple are focused on Service.

I wish for a mountain of Krispy Kreme donuts!

[Prototype]

Granted, you however notice that they are outdated and dry.

I wish my succubus wasn't chaste.

[MiraMirror]

Granted. Now she's a studious bookworm who's far too busy to sleep around. She wants to become a lawyer.
I wish that I had some spaghetti right now. -w-

[oceanspool]

Granted, your hair is now made of spaghetti.

I wish that I could talk to animals.

[justme4386]

Granted, but they only talk about the tension of diverging interests in the dissonance of primordial instincts over the cognitive being based on the Freudian definition of the oedipal complex... and you don't get it.
It's midnight here, that was literally the beast I could do. ;)

I wish I could sleep in tomorrow...

[Prototype]

Granted, but you'll have a horrific nightmare.

I wish I had someone to hug me.

[Belle33]

Granted. That's too sweet to corrupt.  And yet.... your hugger has a highly contagious skin disease and I'm afraid you've been infected.  *sighs* ... so very sad.

I wish I had a decent pair of running shoes.

[CaptainNexus616]

Granted but they are stolen.

I wish I had a Sonic Screwdriver.