Elliquiy Etiquette [Nasty Warning]

[Ellyssa]

In a bit of a pensive mood today, so.. more a rant than anything else. So bear with me please. :) And no, it's not nasty.. yet, but it well could turn out to be. :P

I know Elvi's been feeling a lot down lately - due to a combination of many events online and real life, and she does a helluva lot more to keep the rest of us in line than the other gods combined (with apologies). And why am I saying this? Because I think she needs a hug and support from the group of mortals to show that what her role is (the mother hen) is needed around these parts, for she gets abused too much by the general populace. I fully support her stance on most things and think that our problem players should not be allowed to destroy the well-being of the community - been there, seen that, and it's not pretty.

There have been a spate of nasty god on mortal spats recently, from petty disagreements that have blown out of proportion to all out rude attacks flying across the board. And those are only things that we mortals can see.. I shudder to know what goes on behind the scenes. Why? Why all the bad blood eating away at us like the rotting apple in the basket?

Please, I beseech you all.. we are all adults here, and that means we all should have the capacity to associate with each other in relative harmony and not go out of our way to antagonise each other. Being an adult and having rights doesn't mean you have the right to say or do whatever you want, especially when a goddess says otherwise, but that you have the right of reason and to think and act in a cultured manner - or get the boot.

While you may disagree with a goddess, no matter the situation, the correct thing to do is not to goad or insult back, but instead to take it politely to PMs or to take it up with the Mother Superior hen (that's Lilac). Is it that difficult to comprehend? It is NOT wrong to disagree, there are channels and polite ways of saying so, but it IS wrong as well as extremely childish to blatantly do an 'Up yours' sort of reply. That's what playground bullies do. If the immortals were always correct they would be goddesses, not humans behind the keyboard as well.

And after all, what are you gaining besides the scorn of the rest of the community when you answer a perceived insult with further insult? It's nothing but a poor attempt at an ego boost (look, I can talk big to a goddess and they won't punish me) at the cost of not only the other person, but making the site look bad.

As an adult site already we have many things to worry about and not cross the line with, for we are enough persecuted enough (see Zakharra's thread, or that one about the law trying to close down that adult gaming site, can't find that thread anymore) without being able to have the luxury of eating away at each other's throats, or letting black and white slowly turn into grey and paint a big legal bulls-eye on ourselves.

For everyone's sake, it is better to be regulated too closely than to be too lax and let a bunch of oversexed underaged children (or adults. For not all adults are emotionally grown up - just look around) take over the site by lying about their age and spreading their immaturity. For when that point in time comes, we will have NO Elliquiy to play on.

So please, the next time something eats away at you bad enough that you need to make a nasty demeaning retort for no other reason than to insult (and the gods know I want to do that sometimes, too!) a goddess or player, take a step back, breathe slowly, count to ten, and ask yourself, is it really necessary?

If the answer is yes, please, leave, we do not want troublemakers as part of our community. No one is that important to the site that we cannot do without you - and with that attitude, I think it is fair to surmise that you won't get many scenes or sympathy from the majority of the players here anyway.

I have faith that we are not a bad group of people. I can show you far worse sites. But we are all guests while here, with the exception of the server owner and site admin, this is not our place to lord it over others at every opportunity - mortals too, but especially imms picked by the site admin to help take care of the site and are doing a damned fine job of screening the icky bad from the quality good. How much do you help build instead of destroy around here?

Have an apple on the way out,
Jess



Edit: Thanks for voting, too. Just curious as to where people lie. Please feel free to vote, even if to disagree. It wouldn't seem right if some didn't. ;)

[Purple]

Very well said, and thank you for saying it.  I'm new enough and don't see enough that I am not aware of the entire stories.  But I have seen Elvi, to my mind, being almost if not out-and-out abused by others on the site.  Whether or not she deserves this treatment (and from what I've personally seen that answer is a resounding 'no') it is still reprehensible and unbecoming of adults like you said, Ellyssa.  I, for one, have actually been very embarrassed for Elvi and also angry as well.  I know I couldn't have handled what I've seen with such grace had it been directed at me.  I very likely would've cursed and screamed and deleted all of their stuff...  I've seen Elvi take a very active role in making this a safe, protected place where I can play out things I will never get to do irl thanks to my stuffy husband.  And for that, I want to thank you, Elvi.  I may be new, but I appreciate you, all your help, all you do, and how you make me laugh immensely.  *hugs Elvi tight and Ellyssa too for saying something*

[Moondazed]

I'm curious... does this belong in Politics and Religion?

[Violet Maui]

;) It's Elliquiy Politics. :D

[Lyria]

Where ever it belongs, it needed to be said, and Ellyssa said it amazingly well.

[Lilac]

;) It's Elliquiy Politics. :D

Was bound to happen eventually >_>

In any case, like I discussed with the goddesses many weeks ago, I don't consider this site to be mine any longer.  I make it a point to stand behind the decisions of the appointed staff here, and they've come to direct most of the policy here.  I truly appreciate the effort and commitment that Elvi has made to this site, and I can't thank her enough.

[GoldenChild]

Good said! One thing I think people sometimes forget is that no matter what you as a mare mortal thinks a goddess word IS law and there is no gain by bitching about a ruling or other thing, just do as you are told don't be a child about it.

Another thing that comes to mind is our debate threads on Elliquiy, you that take part in them always remember that discussing politics or religion is HOT stuff and never reply on something while you are angry about what something has typed. If you take offence, talk to the goddesses about it and let them do the ruling.

[Soulsemmer]

Uh ohs. I'll get in trouble if I get in one this one.

So instead I brought... COOKIES! Yes. Cookies. Made through legitimate means without breaking ANY child-labor laws!

Mmm, cookies...

[Ajoxer]

No child labor? But the tears of suffering are half the flavor...

[Swedish Steel]

I agree 100%. Being civil actually isn't that hard. I try to calm down people when I think they're going to far, but it rarely works. Thanks Elvi for your smashing job here.

[robitusinz]

I agreed, but I'm not exactly sure what I was supposed to be agreeing to.

I agree that moderators need to be respected, and the fact that their word is law needs to be fully comprehended.  I'm not a proponent of chaos, and I personally don't like jerks who just impose on other peoples' fun for no reason (I play a ton of MMORPGs...World of Warcraft, Everquest, etc. etc. etc., and griefers are a dime-a-dozen.  I don't like them there, I don't like them here.)

[Oreida Wesker]

Well, I agree whole heartedly on a lot of things you said, and yes. You have a grand way of articulating what needs to be said.

But as you stated, we are all adults and, as you also stated, we all do not have the same mindset or emotional  level so how can one stop and take a breath if they feel consistantly baited? As your entire statement clairfied the united feelings of others on how much Elvi is wantonly abused with endless disputes from new applicants, this doesn't arise any actual awareness except for thoughs whom agree with you that their word is law, and oversexed jerks need to mind themselves. [Then again, I don't fit into that narrow category, I haven't even broken a rule. Just to clarify.] People whom fallen to their own ignorance or even those whom are not use to someone questioning a mental aspect, thought, opinion, ectra.. will disagree and respectfully, or fusteration, choose to say nothing to this thread and let you think the way you presented it. Mostly cause they sometimes can't find words without the entire post sounding harsh or offensive, I don't know, i'm not that empathetic..

I did, honestly, have a slight dislike for Elvi, until I found out that her position was that of interiewing all new applicants. I felt immediate guilt for the burden i've become, I know what it is like. ['Is', I still perform those duties for my own games.] The guilt melted away though, and I do agree that if people are a problem, they shouldn't sit on probation for a year or less. They should be booted or allowed back in judging the severity of their offense. A judgement needs to be made objectively and excuted based on the ruling or no one learns anything. If people can't act descently, thenyes.  Drop them like a bad apple before they spoil the bunch..

[kylie]

Uh ohs. I'll get in trouble if I get in one this one.

So instead I brought... COOKIES! Yes. Cookies. Made through legitimate means without breaking ANY child-labor laws!

Mmm, cookies...

Yeah, you don't suppose it gets titled "Nasty" for nothing, huh. 

Pass the cookies.

[Nanoki]

or that one about the law trying to close down that adult gaming site, can't find that thread anymore) without being able to have the luxury of eating away at each other's throats, or letting black and white slowly turn into grey and paint a big legal bulls-eye on ourselves.


I have read the post, and not to contradict you but the fact of the law trying to close Adult Gaming sites mostly refers to the Gambeling sites, like Bodog.net and what not.  I really doubt that they have a problem with people who like to Role Play, and to which most are acting accordingly and not being rude or crude.  It is all just harmless fun.  I am sorry for taking everyone's time.  Thank you, and may the Lord, and the Lady smile down upon you in your walks of life.

[MagicalPen]

Well said. And i agree. As a Mod on another Forums, i know how hard a job it can be. Needless to say, the last person to attack me (mostly for my handle on said site) stepped across the lines one too many times and was banned by the Panzer Penguin. Good riddance too! But there is a unofficial guideline for the site but no one seems to follow it. I could be a Nazi and follow it to the letter, but that would result in half the forum-members being put on probation.

[Celestial Goblin]

Internet forums exist for us to have fun, they aren't replacements of real life and being told to keep quiet on a forum does not equal to losing freedom of speech or to being forced to change an opinion.

I'm all for creating a polite atmosphere, and I realize how difficult it is to make sure people keep some civil norms. Elvi really tried hard and put her heart into that. I viewed her examination of new applying members as a sort of test of maturity. It takes an adult to take a little prodding and not flip out, in my opinion.

[Nanoki]

I agree with you on that.  Although some times even the maturest of people slip up, but it happens.  It is an accident, and polite atmospheres are good especially for things like this, but no matter how hard we try some people just don't care.

[MagicalPen]

Personally, i think that some people just love playing the part of the antagonist. They'll jump on the slightest thing just to cause a stir. I've run across people like this all over the place. They'll make a negative post that really has nothing to do with the topic it is in, just to attack another player.

[Nanoki]

I have run into them before too.  I have had to shut down my boards to stop it.  I deleted quite a few people, and made it harder to join almost in the same way they have here.

[Vandren]

I generally hesitate to post in dead threads (or those that were only recently resurrected simply to rehash old material), but a dissenting voice ought to be heard.  :)

First, let me state that the following critique of the thread's sentiments aren't directed at any one person (on this site or elsewhere), but are the reflection of over a decade of pbp on various sites, moderated and otherwise.

The sentiments here are wonderful . . . in theory.  In practice, they only work if a) the moderator(s) in question themselves act like adults and are non-antagonistic (failed example: see Play-by-Web 3-4 years ago, right before the mass exodus to RPOL), b) when the moderator(s) are actually enforcing site rules rather than pretending that their own opinions are site rules (see same example, among others), and c) people who disagree, whether politely or otherwise, aren't told "You're being banned/put on probation because you disagreed" (see previous example, among others).

And that's all I'm gonna say on that one.  :)

[Nanoki]

Yes Vandren, but that works only if you have the time, and you have multiple moderators woking, here on Elliquiy is a good example of that.    Most of the time, I'm working on too many other things to keep un on things like that, but it's different now.  I'm not half as busy as I was, although I am still busy.  Speeking of busy I've got to go.

[King_Furby]

Yes we have some good mods here, Elliquiy is running pretty damn smooth i have not seen any problems though i am not on often.