Perverted Wishes

[Pauper45]

Wish granted.  It's worth hundreds!  Except it looks just like all your other dimes... in that bathtub of dimes... good luck finding it!  ;)

I wish... I could read minds.

[Aria]

you can now read all the content on this random website.
http://www.minds.com/

I wish that I had Eggnog

[Villain]

You have eggnog but it's made out of the most artificial of artificial flavourings. Enjoy!

I wish I could punch god

[Aria]

Me too. i don't wanna pervert this one....

You succeed. You have poured Hawaiian punch on god. he uses his miraculous abilities to heal himself and sends you to hell.

i wish homophobia vanished from the world.

[Villain]

Wish granted but now all the biggots have to find something else to hate so they choose to hate the first thing they see. Now mailmen everywhere must carry a shotgun.

I wish I was a great detective

[Underneath]

Wish Granted.  Your great skills have caused you to find the cure for AIDS!  Little did you know, the cure for AIDS is found in a very rare blood type that only you have.

I wish for a girlfriend that loves me as much as I love her

[Aria]

You somehow end up with a girl who you absolutely hate.

i wish that i could multitask better.

[Underneath]

Wish Granted!  You grow two extra pair of arms and join a circus as the real-life SpiderMan

I wish I had perfect 20/20 vision

[Villain]

Wish granted you see all the 20/20's your heart desires

I wish I could eat something rare

[Underneath]

Wish Granted!  You open your fridge and find a mysterious foil-wrapped meat.  You open the foil and wrapped in plastic wrap is the meat labeled "Tyrannosaurus Rex"

I wish my hair was pink

[Aria]

granted, but not the hair on your head ^.-

I wish My parents were non religious.

[Underneath]

LMAO Damn, I should've been specific

Granted!  Your parents disappear without a trace and a new non-religious family replaces them.

I wish it snowed here

[Villain]

It snows in 'Here' a small remote village in Norway.

I wish that I could hit stupid people and not get in trouble.

[Underneath]

Granted!  Now you hit yourself everyday for making such a stupid wish ;)

I wish my best friend knew how much I really loved her.

[Nazora]

Wish granted, but she only finds out through becoming fatally wounded.

I wish I had a bowl of fudge ripple ice cream.

[Underneath]

Granted!  The waiter is a known serial killer and has spiked your ice cream with a deadly poison that is unrecognizable and as you enjoy that first bite, you die within seconds.

I wish I had more than one wish

[Aria]

you are granted three more wishes. They are all for very terrible std's.

I wish our band could find a new drummer.

[Underneath]

Granted!  Your drummer is none other than Tommy Lee and your band shoots to the stars solely on his popularity.

I wish I had a comfy chair to sit in

[Moksha]

Granted, but its made of kittens sown together. Live kittens. Still mewing in pain.

Enjoy that chair ;)

I wish I was immortal!!! :D

[Underneath]

lol what an awesome chair.  Soft "and" soothing music :D

Granted!  You live to see all of your loved ones die, the world ends and you float endlessly into the unknown.

I wish my love life existed

[Moksha]

I ain't even mad. :D

Granted, however the only sex you will ever be allowed to have EVER is horse sex. And you're always the taker. forever.

I wish that I could become.... perfect.

[Underneath]

Wish granted!  You become so perfect that you are declared "King of the World!"

[ausyandy]

Hmm no wish of your own?

My wish is to meet the hot guy that lives near me that I've been messaging a bit on a gay dating site.

[Aria]

You meet the person, but it ended up being a woman in some elaborate convoluted hoax.

My wish is to become witty.

[Moksha]

Granted but now you can only say witty things, never to be serious again.

Oh also, all your words come out in Latin.

I wish I could speak, write, and understand every language on earth fluently.