Don't You Hate it When in an P&P RPG...

[ForAlbion]

-When someone's significant other joins the campaign so that they can still spend time with them, but then fails to show any interest in the game at all, sometimes also distracting him by constantly mooching for attention.

-When people attempt to do something in-game without actually looking up the appropriate rules beforehand (Not as big of a deal with an experienced DM, at least concerning general game knowledge, but if someone tries to use one of their class skills without knowing how, and then spends five minutes looking up the rules, they've got to go.)

-People who go out of their way to create characters that are unique, not in terms of character or backstory, but in terms of mechanics. In short, someone who tries to invent a whole new class. I once played with someone who wanted to have a character whose entire fighting style revolved around garroting people with a piano-wire fishing rod.

[Oniya]

-People who go out of their way to create characters that are unique, not in terms of character or backstory, but in terms of mechanics. In short, someone who tries to invent a whole new class. I once played with someone who wanted to have a character whose entire fighting style revolved around garroting people with a piano-wire fishing rod.

If I were GMing (hah!) I'd handle that like a bow and arrow 'to hit', (I assume that they were flinging or dropping a noose) and then a strength roll for damage.

Oh, and I'd include an NPC that would cryptically tell people to keep their hand at the level of their eyes. [/Broadway]

[WindVoyager]

players that nerf their characters

players who do tings like yell out 'I kick it in the balls'

God modding

Carbon copies of popular characters from TV\Movies\Books

Characters that are card board cut outs

The player who had their thief steal certain body parts from corpses, put them in a bag, then get mad when the Spectral Lantern didn't reanimate the pile of manly body parts

When a players significant other joins the game and they spend the whole session doing nothing but distracting the other player

The food hog. We all know one, the moch who never brings snacks and never chips in for food but will stuff their face with as much as possible

Any one who yells 'I shoot the darkness!"

[Endorphin]

Every single character that a particular player creates is; a cardboard cut-out that is useless, inept, socially retarded, doesn't fill the role expected of their class and fails to contribute to the group in a meaningful way... and somehow manages to survive when other, more highly regarded characters die because of them.

[Endorphin]

Then there's the GM's pet... who can sneak like a ninja, leap wide chasms with a single bound, use all skills untrained, cast spells never heard of, fight armies of undead, outwit the sphinx, persuade angry mobs, locate otherworldly artifacts in the most obscure places, train ancient red dragons to do their bidding, ride the terrasque and has all the best items in the party, endless gold, impenetrable armour, godly stats, unlimited hit points and somehow manages to achieve all of this before level 3.

[LunarSage]

Then there's the GM's pet... who can sneak like a ninja, leap wide chasms with a single bound, use all skills untrained, cast spells never heard of, fight armies of undead, outwit the sphinx, persuade angry mobs, locate otherworldly artifacts in the most obscure places, train ancient red dragons to do their bidding, ride the terrasque and has all the best items in the party, endless gold, impenetrable armour, godly stats, unlimited hit points and somehow manages to achieve all of this before level 3.

Heh I feel for you on that one, I really do.  It goes hand in hand with this:

...the GM is obviously biased in favor of a best friend or an SO?  (One GM in a game I was in let his best friend play a level 20 PC loaded to the gills with magic items in a game where everyone else was level 5 with little to no magic items.  When I confronted the GM about it, he shrugged and said that "every group has to have a Gandalf".)

[Endorphin]

No! Every group DOESN'T have to have a Gandalf! What a cretinous GM.

Actually, that's one of the things that bugged me about LotR. Gandalf was so super-awesome at everything. I would've enjoyed it a whole lot more if he put away his horseback-mounted-enemy-ass-kicking-staff and, instead, dropped a couple of well-placed fireballs or flamestrikes on the battlefield.

[Oniya]

Besides, Gandalf was always haring off and leaving the party in the lurch.  The dwarves in The Hobbit had to make it through Mirkwood and defeat Smaug all on their own.  He left The Fellowship in Moria and didn't show up again until the battle where Eowyn killed the Nazgul (No man am I!).  Not to mention, when he did show up, it wasn't with the main quest (destroying the Ring) but with the rear guard.

You want to be the group's Gandalf?  Live up (or down) to those standards!

[TheGlyphstone]

Relevant Comic Is Relevant.

[LunarSage]

Heh.  That's funny.

[HairyHeretic]

Also an entertaining read. There's a similar one called Darths and Droids that does Star Wars.

[Moraline]

Relevant Comic Is Relevant.

That's bloody brilliant. Is it wrong that I mostly side with the GM on this one? I can't tell but I totally side with story over hack and slash. Honestly, those players are annoying me just reading the comic - but in a funny way.

[TheGlyphstone]

That's bloody brilliant. Is it wrong that I mostly side with the GM on this one? I can't tell but I totally side with story over hack and slash. Honestly, those players are annoying me just reading the comic - but in a funny way.

It's mean to be deliberately polarizing stereotypes from every direction, so no, you're not wrong. A group of uncreative and annoying hack-and-slash players teamed up with a ridiculously overbearing professional railroad GM, no one in that comic is supposed to look good. :D

Except Gimli's player, he's the only veteran and he's awesome for snarking at everyone else, GM and players alike.

[Inari]

When at a con, a GM you know knows you have always wanted to play a Maid and makes a point to assure the group he has been playing with over the weekend that you are perverse enough for the game. (Informed them I cosplayed a futa and was in charge of hentai panel at the previous con.) Then once you get your stats sorted and things start everyone suddenly has to go... and that was the last session they were playing that day... and it was the last day of the con. :(

[Lux12]

When people squabble over a piece of loot, throw caution to the wind and endanger the whole party, commit random acts of violence for no good reason, make ridiculous demands from people in game, and spend all their funds on the most useless crap.... It happens more than I would like.

[TheGlyphstone]

When people squabble over a piece of loot, throw caution to the wind and endanger the whole party, commit random acts of violence for no good reason, make ridiculous demands from people in game, and spend all their funds on the most useless crap.... It happens more than I would like.

There are groups that don't behave like this?

[Lux12]

There are groups that don't behave like this?

Believe it or not yes.

[Chris Brady]

That's bloody brilliant. Is it wrong that I mostly side with the GM on this one? I can't tell but I totally side with story over hack and slash. Honestly, those players are annoying me just reading the comic - but in a funny way.

Seeing as the GM Railroads his players, gets Super NPCs to do their job for them, and generally pretty much is the classic textbook bad GM...

I dunno.

[Lux12]

When you try your hardest to give the players a challenge and they still find easy ways around your traps or when you realize you've been a bit too generous.

[Tersius]

- When your DM's (and his wife who plays in the game) kitten jumps up on the table and begins batting around your dice, casting one across the room to be sucked into the sphere of annihilation that is underneath their fridge. Oh, and they think it's cute...

[Lux12]

When players, whether your gming or not, decide to rip their characters off from somewhere else or expect to be Gods at level one.

[Chris Brady]

..The game fights you.

Exalted, Palladium's Heroes Unlimited (more like extremely limited), D&D (3rd ed namely, but a little of 2nd and a LOT of 4th), as a GM I was expecting something else, especially with Exalted, OK, I was expecting what was written on the tin, what I got was...  Nearly unplayable.

[TheGlyphstone]

Yeah, when a game (Exalted 2e) has an Official Errata that is a noticeable percentage of the actual rulebook in terms of relative size, you know you have a problem. The Ink Monkeys do their best, but still...

[Lux12]

When the DM goes out of their way to make your characters and their skills useless.

[Songbird]

Ohhh, I have a looong list, but I'll just start with one. ;D

Don't you hate it when a P&P RPG becomes all hack'n'slash without any actual roleplay? It drives me nuts, especially since my favorite class, Bard, is skilled at gleaning information from NPCs. I love talking to NPCs and learning just why the Duke is so hated before racing off to the castle to kill him. It feels as if adventuring is becoming more "kill now, ask questions later" than the other way around. As somewhat who appreciates a good plot, that irritates me to no end. >:(