Perverted Wishes

Started by Ellyssa, September 15, 2006, 11:50:39 AM

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Paradox

#850
Granted, but you have no mouth to say it with; thus, you are forever tortured by having the knowledge without the ability.

I wish the never ending pasta bowl at Olive Garden really was never ending.

EDIT: Pasta bowl, not paste bowl.


"More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality."-Robert A. Baker

Inkidu

Grated you get exactly what you wish for. You are now permanently constipated because of all the paste you consumed at Olive Garden.

I wish I could pass any academic course without breaking the school's honor code. 
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

Random

Granted! You pass every course you ever attempt with flying colors, but your sudden academic prowess leaves the world of science in awe, and they whisk you away and lock you in a room and run all manner of tests upon you that fry your brain, leaving you a babbling mess and unable to actually do anything with all that education.

I wish I could get out of my dead end job a.s.a.p.!

ShrowdedPoet

Granted, you have no job.

I wish I could beat the daylights out of a specific person.
Kiss the hand that beats you.
Sexuality isn't a curse, it's a gift to embrace and explore!
Ons and Offs


Inkidu

#854
Quote from: ShrowdedPoet on August 24, 2008, 11:37:23 AM
Granted, you have no job.

I wish I could beat the daylights out of a specific person.
Granted.
You beat the crap out of the person but are arrested for assault and battery charges.

EDIT

I wish I could remember to make wishes!
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

MusicNeverDies

Quote from: Inkedu on August 24, 2008, 11:40:08 AM
Granted.
You beat the crap out of the person but are arrested for assault and battery charges.
Psst- make a wish.

Paradox

Granted, but not a one of them comes true.




I wish you would stop talking.


"More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality."-Robert A. Baker

Inkidu

Granted but typing isn't talking.

I wish I could talk again.
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

Paradox

(not YOU, man)

Granted, but your fingers all fall off, so now you can't type...and even if you could, your keyboard short-circuited from the blood.

I wish the world was in black and white.


"More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality."-Robert A. Baker

xXStarlightXx

Wish granted but now you loose any visual or feelings of textures.  Everything looks flat to you.

I wish I could make love on a cloud.

Inkidu

Granted. You and whomever do the deed on the cloud, however you realize that you have no way of getting off the cloud so you are forced to stay up there.

I wish I had two dozen Dunkin' Doughnuts!
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

Paradox

Granted, but you waste almost all of them by attempting to stuff them all onto your penis at the same time.

I wish sprite zero didn't race through my urinary tract so damned fast.


"More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality."-Robert A. Baker

Idej

Granted, but everything moves so slow through your urinary tract that it begins to buildup and gets your urinary tract infected up to the point that your kidney's fail and you eventually die from the build-up even with medical assistance.

I wish that I could be on a tropical island with all of the ladies on Elliquiy.:)

xXStarlightXx

Wish granted but you are secluded to a room on the island and not allowed to see the ladies.  ;)

I wish I could spend a romantic evening with antonio bendares (sp)

Random

Granted, you get to spend a wonderfully romantic evening with Antonio Banderas, where he tries to fulfill all of your desires... of course, it's not the Antonio Banderas, but an Antonio Banderas that crossed the border about three weeks ago, doesn't know a word of English, and smells strongly of tequila and donkey sweat.

I wish I didn't have these accursed allergies!



As an aside...
Quote from: Paradox on August 24, 2008, 10:00:11 PM
Granted, but you waste almost all of them by attempting to stuff them all onto your penis at the same time.

(I laughed so hard at this! Brilliant!)

jstarz

Granted, but now you don't have an immune system and have to live in a plastic bubble.

I wish I had a fax machine.

Inkidu

Granted but all the instructions are in Swahili.

I wish I had a time machine.
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

Idej

Granted but the machine takes you back to France during the French Revolution where you are captured and executed via the guillotine.

I wish that I knew what was happening all over the world in a blink of an eye.

Kalen

You can!  But then Dexter cuts off your eyelids, and the power is gone forever, forcing you to invest heavily in Visine.

I wish it was 2009.

MusicNeverDies

Granted- but you ceased to exist from the point the wish was made until 12:01 January 1st. All your friends thought you upped and left them, and want nothing to do with you anymore.

I wish Harry Potter hadn't been pushed back to the summer.

Inkidu

Granted.

It's been pushed back to five years from now.

I wish I had an i-pod.
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

MusicNeverDies

Granted, but iPods sue the i-pod company and charge anyone owning one with copyright. Enjoy your lawsuit.

I wish I had my own car that worked.


Kalen

Granted.  But it only drives East.

I wish my muscles weren't so sore.

Bliss

Granted - your muscles are gone. You're now a bone-bag.

I wish I could start my own company.
O/O ~ Wiki ~ A/A ~ Discord: Bliss#0337
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
<3 <3 <3

Inkidu

Granted but it soon goes the way of Enron. You forgot to build a golden parachute and you're thrown in prison.

I wish had a thousand dollar, legitimate gift card to Books-A-Million.
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.