Swashbuckler's playground

[Captain Maltese]

Swashbuckler's playground! A training area for those who can combine the swift sword and the fleet foot with a quick repartee. Rules? 1) It's not allowed to actually damage anyone. 2) A post should both include a defensive move, followed by an agressive move, and include a quip or taunt or similar. Think Errol Flynn, Robin Hood, Men In Tights, Princess Bride, Pirates of the Caribbean - get it?

If someone is asking for a fight, join - yes, more than two can fight at a time but be clear about who you challenge. If whoever posted last isn't online, go to the center of the ring and make a taunt yourself. If someone ARE fighting, jump in and ask if anyone dare raise a blade toward you ;D

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*CptCalico goes to the centre of the ring and faces the gate. He lifts his saber and shouts * Come on ye louts, show me ye got some teeth!

[Cutter]

*Cutter circles the ring like a pacing Lion and then  raising his cutlass, legs apart,

"I'm inclined to show you a bit more than teeth!"

[Captain Maltese]

*CptCalico paces in the same clockwise direction, then makes a light feint*

"Hey sailor, keep your pants on!"

[Cutter]

*Cutter is amused at the Capt's footwork and follows him with the point of his blade, moving with his center of gravity balanced*

"Aye, being a swab,  I reckoned you'd jest about men's britches"

[Captain Maltese]

*keeps pacing, but mixes in a few tango steps*
*pounces forward, tickles Cutter's swordtip, steps back *

"Better to jest about men's breeches than to be a jest in man's breeches!"

[Cutter]

*Cutter's smiles and his feet move quickly forward, the cutlass springs forward  like a viper engaging the Captain's metal-with an audible clang. Then steps back as if in minuet *

"Ah..Pray, you do speak from experience, no doubt? The Whores of Babylon call you 'dingy, if I'm not mistaken"

[Captain Maltese]

*CptCalico jumps up on a barrel, turns around and slaps his ass at Cutter, dances round and moves his saber to the other hand*

"Hey, I'll leave frequenting of whores to you, landlubber. When I get it on with women, they offer ME money!"

[Cutter]

*kicks the Barrel*

"Methinks they give you money out of pity,  Capt Jester"

[Captain Maltese]

*somersaults in the air, lands on the side of the barrel and rolls it fast toward Cutter, bangs away his blade with force and smacks the saber flatside into Cutter's ass as he rolls on. He jumps up before the barrel leaves out the gate, grabbing the beams on the open next level of the barn and climbing up. He pokes nose at Cutter.*

"In that case I must be a successful beggar indeed, to get such rich donations from so many and so pretty women! That vest of yours look rather ragged...been fishing in the trashheaps again?"

[Cutter]

* shoots forward, blade hissing as the it slices a small line in the Captains legging. Cutter pivots and engages the Captain's blade with flurry of clangs and withdraws, slowly stepping backward, arms spread.

"Aye, the fishmongers bear as striking resemblance to your sisters. The smell more so."

[Captain Maltese]

*grabs a tackle rope and descends on it behid Cutter, and makes a big notch in his belt before jumping up on a haywagon*

"The smell is all YOU'll ever know of a woman, cur!"

[Greenthorn]

*throws a dagger, which successfully misses each of the bumbling men, but lands with loud THUD into a pillar, gaining their attention.  She then tosses her long hair back with a swoop of her hand and smiles as she tosses a few gold coins onto the ground*

"I will pay both of you to cease your banter and show this woman a proper swordfight.  Unless of course your banter is all you have to offer?"

*raises an eyebrow and looks over the men*

[Captain Maltese]

*throws dark narrow eyes at the newcomer and paces until the distance between him, her and Cutter is equal*

"What's that, prettylips, coin for watching or coin for joining in? And if the latter, joining in on what? Is that a sword in your hands or just your undies?"

[Greenthorn]

*throws head back and laughs*

"From what I've been hearing, you wouldn't know what panties even look like to discern the difference!"

[Captain Maltese]

*he looks into the air, tilts his head, then nods*

"I must admit that the girls tend to remove them so fast I never really get to take much of a look at them."

*he jumps down from the wago, leans onto the wheel and wiggles his eyebrows*

"Silly me, of course it can't be your undies. I doubt you've ever had a pair to call your own!"

[Greenthorn]

*lifts her dress and looks down.  she drops her dress quickly and raises her hand to her mouth in mock surprise*

"My!!...you're correct!!  It seems as if I am wearing your panties"

[Captain Maltese]

*puts his hands on his lips and whistles*

"Indeed! The very pair, judging by their likeness! Seeing as *I* always go commando!"

*sidles closer, sheathing his saber for a nice little dagger*

[Greenthorn]

*eyes his approach and smiles*

"Well since I have proven my words with evidence, perhaps you can return the favor?*

*exaggerates a frown*

"You approach me with a weapon and leave your quarry behind?  Are you sure you own some manhood in those pants of yours?  They do seem a bit...lacking"

[Cutter]

"Oi, speaking of fishmongers......."

*Eyes the bold lass. *

"Come to peddle your wares? Methinks I have a cooper piece"

*rummages through pockets and produces a bit of lint.*

"That'll do for you"

[Greenthorn]

*scowls and produces another dagger from her thigh sheath*

"Perhaps I shall cut out your tongue and give it to your friend to use for his pleasure?*

[Captain Maltese]

"Very well, wench!" He throws his saber and dagger aside, lowers his pants, uses both hands to display his equipment, then hoists the pants again and assumes the fighting stance of a brawler*

"Now if you are finished yapping, can you tell if there is any fighting spirit there besides that poison tongue?"

[Captain Maltese]

*notices that weapons are back in play and bounces for his two*

"Hey! You two, don't start bleeding before I'm ready to join in!"

[Greenthorn]

*laughs at the display brought out before her*

"I'm sure you would love to wrestle with me and allow your hands to explore unknown territory.  And yes, with your package, my body would be unknown territory, and I'm sure my "poison tongue" gives women much more pleasure than your...sword"

[Captain Maltese]

*he paces back to the point where the two others are of equal distance to him, now holding the dagger in his left and the saber in his right hand*

"That sounds like a challenge? Bring one of those lasses you refer to over here, and then we can both give'er a go!"

[Cutter]

*adjust his prominent bulge at both*


"Let us dance, shall we?"

*eyes glittering with menace*

"Perhaps with yon Captains equipment and your so-called tongue, you could entertain the feeble and infirm, or they might be a bit much for you scrubs."