Bringing up the painful(?) past

[Drax]

(Handwritten letter posted from Hampshire, England and sent to the US)
Kat

I know it’s been a long time since you heard from me, about ten years in fact but your last letter seemed final.  You said you had met someone and moved on, after all it was difficult maintaining a relationship when we were so far apart separated by an ocean.  I had plans to visit you that summer and was trying to save up but work didn’t pay as well back then and I think we really needed to see each other more often than we did after I moved back to the UK.

Time passes however and things change and I expect you are wondering why on earth I should be writing to you at this time, an old flame dredging up a past life that you might have thought, hoped  or possibly feared buried. Its only in the last three months that events have unfolded.

Unfortunately in January my mother died, dad died last year and I know she gave up a little hope at that point and mercifully the end was painless and swift and she slipped away in her sleep.  I hope you are still blessed with both your parents, cherish them and the years they have left, I regret not talking more to them now and their past, there was so much to learn.
Eventually I had to clear out the house in order for the probate sale to go ahead. I discovered a number of things.  The first were some love letters my father sent to my mother when he was aboard,  he did national service and was posted out to Asia, possibly Malaysia but it was unclear from his letters.   They were sweet and I almost forgot them until I cleared my old room and found your letters to me, I didn’t have a copy of the letters I sent to you but I reread everyone of yours and haven’t stopped thinking about what to do about it for the last two weeks, I don’t think I ever stopped thinking about you over the last ten years. The year we had together in the US was probably the happiest of my life and I know you wanted me to stay but I felt I needed to finish my education  back home and I was never much of a risk taker and I couldn’t ask you to come over to the UK either, it would have been too much for you. Maybe I should have done, I’m sorry if that was the case but I’m wasn’t sure then what we would have done over here and I’m not sure your family would have approved.

I digress, it’s easy to when reminiscing so I’ll keep this letter brief, I wanted to get in touch, to see how you are, to see if you want to converse, by letter at least.  Just to share happy memories (I hope they were happy for you, most of them anyway) and catch up, almost like a corny school re-union without the face to face angst.

Yours

Ben

[AAA111]

(Handwritten letter posted from Orlando, Florida and sent to the UK)

Ben

Yes it has been a very very long time since I have heard from you. And when I received your letter about 10 years ago I had moved on or at least I thought I had. I thought that this guy was good for me but in the end he really wasn't because in all actuality..he wasn't you. You were always my first and only true love. I was so young back then. I was only 18 but I knew that I loved you. I just didn't realize how much I loved you until we broke up. That was so hard for me to do.

I do agree that time changes and that things should change but my feelings for you never did.

I'm sorry to hear about your mother and father. They were two very very good people who raised such an amazing son who had such respect for all women. She is very proud of the man that you have become. I for sure can tell you that from knowing how she felt and what not. I am very lucky to still have both of my parents around. We are still very very close and I'm lucky to have that. We still talk about you every once in awhile but it is hard on me to talk about you. I remember sending you those letters and I remember how much truth and hard felt love I put into each and every one of those letters. I did want you to stay (of course) but I also wanted you to do what was best for you and at the time that was getting your education. Honestly and truthfully if you had asked me to come over to the UK with you I probably would have gone and my parents would have been ok with it. We have talked about this before.

Yes I would love to keep in contact with you via letters like these. All of the memories that I have of you are all positive except for the fights we had, which are far and few between. I wish you'd come back here though but letters are just as good.

Yours,

Kat

[Drax]

Sent by return– hand written  to Orlando

Kat

Your letter tore my heart apart, I wish we could go back ten years and make different choices from the ones we made then.   Ten years is
a long time and whilst I hope we can see each other soon there are many things that have happened over here that I need to share. If I could, I would jump on the next plane just to hold you in my arms again, to touch you, to smells your summer scented hair and to hold your delicate hands in mine. I hope that we can accomplish this soon, if that is truly your desire but I will need to share a few things first and to explain why I am not arriving with this letter in hand.

After your last letter I was deeply hurt and I spent the next two years immersing myself in my degree. Finally however I was pulled out of this by a friend, Debbie.  We shared many happy times and whilst she loved me deeply and I loved her it was never quite as unconditional as us.  I suspect ones first true love is never repeated or even matched no matter who you ask.  The ache is your heart is never quite as strong after that first time. I digress in my story, which I need to tell you so that you know some of what has happened over the last ten years.  Six years ago Debbie fell pregnant and I celebrated the happiest and probably the saddest day of my life, our daughter was born, but Debbie died from complications and I was left to bring up Deborah Caitlin on my own.  Of course I say on my own, but the grandparents were all wonderfully supportive.

I am though now the proud father of a six year old daughter who regularly wraps her father round her little finger!  I know this news will be a surprise to you but you needed to hear it now as it is the most important thing that has happened in the last ten years and it would affect us going forward as I sensed a glimmer of hope from your letter that we could be reunited.  DC is in school now and I couldn’t leave her, nor do the government or I agree with taking children out of the school terms, and you needed to learn about her before we met anyway.

Love

Ben

[AAA111]

Sent by return-hand written to UK

Ben

I'm sorry about that. I know that maybe I should of said it in a better way. I don't want you to think that I hated you for leaving like you did. Because that is not at all true. In fact it is the complete opposite. I still love you and I probably always will. I mean how can I not still love you? I was with you for almost 3 years and you were my first true love. Honestly you were my only love. I so very much miss the way that you make me feel. I miss the kisses, the hugs, your sweet words, and everything else about you. Yes it is my desire to very very soon see you again.

I'm sorry that I hut you. I'm glad that you were able to move on with someone else and be happy. You deserved all of that and so much more. I'm sorry that you had to lose someone so close and dear to your heart. But I'm so glad that you got a beautiful daughter, I'm sure, out of it all. You were my first true love so I understand what you are saying.

I can only imagine what an amazing father you are to that beautiful little girl. You were always so good with kids and I'm sure that little girl adores you and hangs off your every word. Thank you for being so honest with me about everything. I'm sure that your little girl has her daddy wrapped around her little finger. Your so sweet and kind how can it not happen?

I'm thinking of moving to the U.K. for grad school..um oh yeah I still love you.

Love

Kat

[Drax]

(OOC Ten years have passed, I'm assuming that Kat is 29 plus at the moment, and Ben is 31, placing her 16 and him 18 when they met, I'll make the assumption that we'll be able to post a letter every week?)

Dated 3rd May

Kat

What happened,  I thought you were going to Grad school when I left ten years ago? That would be amazing if you came over to England to complete your course, I'm sure I can find somewhere for you to stay very close by.  I miss you every day more and more it seems, I cannot wait for your reply to fall onto my doormat, one of the many differences to the US, at least I don't have to get cold or wet to get the mail, though I would check at least a hndred times a day if I was waiting for your letter.

Yes DC does hang off my every word, she ignores most of them of course but then thats her prerogative I susppose.  I assume that something big must have happened to you for delay in your finishing school, what happened?

When do you think you would make it over,  I might be able to get over to Orlando in the summer when school breaks,  I have the money for the flights and can book a hotel, near disney as DC would find it magical at her age. I can't wait to see you, hold you again.


Love
Ben

[AAA111]

[OOC Yes about ten years about passed and she was 16 and he was 18 when they had first met and started dating. We'll post a letter that is postmaked weekly but I should be able to write daily]

Dated 11 May

Ben

Yeah I was planning on going to grad school when you had left but well um that didn't exactly happen. After you left I got really really depressed and Mike was there to try and help pick me back up. It was then that we began to fall in love (or so I though) and I fell pregnant about 3 years after you left. It wasn't meant to be though because he left me shortly after I found out I was pregnant. I lost the baby at around 8 weeks. Maybe I wasn't meant to have that baby but I couldn't face you.

Of course she has to ignore every one of them silly. That is her duty as a daughter to make sure she get her dad every know and again. But I can imagine that she loves you more than anything in this world..like I did.

I was thinking about starting back to grad school this fall so I'd be able to get over there in about late August-early September. I'd love to see you this summer in Orlando. I have family still down there so I could stay with them. DC would love Disney especially seeing how perfect the place is for her age. I can't wait to see your handsome face and kiss you again

Love
Kat

[Drax]

Dated 18th May

Kat

My love, I cannot bear the thought that you went through such a trauma without support from a partner, I know your mum and dad would have been there for you but I can only imagine the distress and I need to thank you for sharing it in this form. Maybe writing is easier than speaking face to face, but I know we wil have so much to catch up on when we meet again.

Which university or college are you attending in the UK?  If you are serious we could travel back together and you could stay for a few days. 

After I sent my last letter DC asked me why I was happy, clearly you already have an effect on me.  I explained that we woud be going to see a friend of mine during the school holidays and she was a girlfriend and I was happy because I loved her.  She wanted to know where you lived and why she couldn't see you now.  So I explained that you lived in america  and she asked that if we were going to america would be see Donald Duck (for some reason she likes Donald Duck , in fact she likes ducks - one of her favourite times is when we go to the park and feed the ducks.) .  I'm afraid at this point she pretty much lost interest in you as I said yes, we would be seeing Donald Duck ! 

Where are you working at the moment, what are you doing? Still playing any sports?

Love

Ben

(OOC slightly confused as your first letter was postmarked orlando and now you don't appear to live there...?  Slip or where are your letters postmarked now? No doubt you have similar backstory Q's for me - did you want to start a separate OOC thread?)

[AAA111]

Dated 27 May

Ben

It was really hard dealing through that without someone there for me. I had lost you awhile before that so I didn't think that I had the right to contact you. My parents were there for me the entire time but it was still hard going through something like that pretty much alone. I don't honestly know if I would have the guts to tell you something like that face in face. You know me and how I cry so often. I wouldn't be able to hold it in and that is almost a guarantee.

I'm looking into either Cambridge, Durham, or Oxford but I'm not sure yet. Of course I'm serious..I always was serious with you :)

Aww how sweet that you are so happy because of me because you ALWAYS made me happy. I was always complete with you. I know I know I'm getting all sentimental and cutesy sorry about that sweetie. Aww that is so cute she loves Donald Duck. Tell her that I said that Donald is one pretty cool dude and that if it is okay with her I'd love to show her around here so she can meet all the characters. Oh don't be afraid I mean she is only 6 so it is fine

Currently still working as a teacher in a childcare program with little 2 year olds..I love it but I want and need to go back to school. No sports sadly though I still watch football and bball alot

Love
Kat

(OCC sorry to have confused you but yeah I did postmark orlando..I just completely forgot that I postmarked them from orlando. Just a slip on my part..Sorry. We can if you want it is up to you!)

[Drax]

Dated 4th JUne

Kat

I just want to hold you in my arms and make you happy and safe from the world again. I finished my degree and took teacher training, so I'm now a qualified history teacher working in a private school just outside Southampton. I think you created a bit of enthusiasm for teaching in me when I came back, as you know I wasn't really sure what I wanted to do in the long term.

Oxford and to a lesser extent Cambridge would be great to get to during the weekends, they are the best two uni's, Durham would be miles away.  I'm being a bit selfish nowthough because I know I will want to see you as much as possible, on the other hand I recognise you will have to concentrate on your studies and during the week I'll be busy working. You'll need to apply pretty soon just to get into the autumn fall term.

I assume you have finalised what you are studying now,  I know you were interested in psychology, especially child psychology and all three of your choices would be excellent for such an academic subject.

Do you remember when we just used to lie on a tarp under the stars holding hands, sometimes talking, sometimes silence lay over us like a soft blanket. I miss those nights.  It will just be warm enough in late August into the evening to do that again if you want to.

I'm getting impatient for your letters every week so I put my email address at the bottom if you wish to speed up the correspondence.  I should find out soon when I'll be released from school next week, so I'll be able to book flights and the hotel soon.

Love

Ben

(OOC not sure how much longer we will continue as our meeting will soon be here and we're in a PG rated story, happy to continue though, emails will mean we can correspond more in this vein before the meeting).

[AAA111]

Dated 11th June

Ben

I loved when you were able to hold me in your arms because you always made the world safe for me. I know we can't do that now but when I see you if we can I'd love to do that again and be able to just cry on your shoulder about it all. I'm sorry I'm being so happy, sentimental, and girlish. Well I am extremely happy that you found a job that you enjoy and you are great with them so I have no doubt how qualified you are!

I applied to all 3 of the schools back in December. I heard back from Oxford and Cambridge and I got in!!! Didn't hear back from Durham yet though. I would love to see you too as much as I possibly can. I will concentrate on my studies but it'd be nice to have a nice cute hot boy to concentrate on too!

I'm looking to go back to school for child psychology so hopefully it all works out.

I LOVED those nights where we would just lie under the stars as I'd rest in your arms as you held my hands. That is my absolute favorite memory of us. I'd love to do that in late August. I'm planning on moving there Early August  to get all settled in. I just wanna make sure when we spend time together I'm not taking away from your time with DC. I don't want her to think I'm controlling her daddy's life.

I also put my e-mail address at the bottom so you can start that off for me because you know how I am. Can't wait to hear from you and see you soon. I'm sure your even cuter than the last time I saw you. I love you!!

Love
Kat

(OCC We can continue I think and still keep it pg rated and yes more posts now. whooo :) )

[Drax]

Sent by email 18th June. 4.30pm

Kat

Just got home to your letter and thought I would put a quick reply before getting tea for us.

That's great news, Oxford would be closer to us should you prefer it, and I think it might be the better university for child psychology, Cambridge is considered more acedemic nowadays.

I havnt been called a boy in years, I think you're hearkening back to our youth, I am sure you have turned into the stunning woman that your beautiful features always threatened to do, you have that ageless beauty that tok my breath away every time I saw you.

I doubt we'll make it over to Orlando until late July, probably around the 28th, we'll stay 10 days and maybe we can all fly back together?

Love

Ben

PS: I love you too

[AAA111]

Sent by email 18 June. 7:00pm

Ben

Just got home from you work and got your e-mail so thought I would sent you a quick post before I go do some things for work.

I was actually looking at the colleges more closely and what not and I was actually preferring Oxford so that is a good thing. It is also helps that your closer to there. You know I'm really excited to meet DC. I know I'm not her real mom and I hope she doesn't think that I'm tryign to do that because I'm not. I just wanna be her friend. She has to be gorgeous because I'm look at her dad. He is kind of a hunk :)

I love our youth so yes I am trying to remember those good 'ol days. The days when we had no troubles or worries in the world. I'm sure that you have gotten even more handsome than you were before. You always were cute.

Well sir that sounds perfect to me..so about a month until I am able to see your beautiful face and meet your beautiful girl.

Love
Kat <3

[Drax]

Sent 07.00am 19 June  (BST)

Kat

It's a lot faster this way isn't it, waking up this morning to your mail was great, it will be even better being able to roll over and wake you with a kiss and say good morning to you in person.

As our method seems to be increasing the frequency of our letter I thought we could share more about our daily lives,  its probably about 2 in the morning in Orlando I can never remember the exact time difference so you are now doubt benefitting from your barely needed beauty sleep though I remember once looking at you for ten minutes one morning just feeling so lucky that you were so beautiful and in my life.

Today's routine is pretty much like any other, I'll get DC up shortly and we'll have breakfast, probably cereal and some fruit,  for some reasons we only really have pancakes once a year for breakfast here on shrove tuesday and I rarely make a cooked breakfast.  I'll drop her off at school on the way to work, its adjacent to where I teach, and in fact the schools are linked so its really useful, and they have an after school club she attends if I'm not there on time to pick her up, to be honest I rarely am as I normally don't finish for an hour or so after the kids leave.  Five lessons today with a variety of subjects including medieval history, which as you no doubt remembering me boring you with is my passion, though I always liked to think of myself being a knight to your lady, or robin hood to maid marian :).  I digress, at lunch we have a department meeting (did I tell you I head up the department now - one small step up the carreer ladder anyway).

On the way home I'll pick up DC and I'll let you know how the day went, normally DC tells me all about her day on the way home to the house,  I'll tell you about that tonight as I need to dash or we'll be late, DC is NOT a morning person.

Love
Ben

[AAA111]

Sent 7:00am 19 June (EST)

Ben

Yes it is so much faster that way and I agree it is so wonderful to watch up to an e-mail from you and I absolutely can not wait until I can wake up next to you..if that ever happens.

Oh gosh I need so much beauty sleep nowadays it is not even funny. I'm a bear if I get less than 7 hours of sleep a night. Though I'm sure that you remember my moody/bear-like moments. Well I'm lucky to have such a wonderful man like you in my life.

Well I am really glad that your job and DC's school are so easily accessible to one another. I'm sure that makes your life a whole lot easier.

My routine is kind of boring. I normally get up at around 7:00 am and grab either a cereal bar or pop a Pop Tart in the toaster and eat that. I was never really much of a breakfast person so it was always easy to just eat something quick. Then I normally head off to work at around 7:30. I have to drive about an half hour to get there so I work with the little rascals until about 6 then I come home check my e-mails, eat dinner, and basically just chill.

Can't wait to hear from you tonight..let me know how your and DC's days both went. Love you

Love
Kat

[Drax]

Sent Thurs 23rd June 2011 : 19.00

(OOC Changed the date to this year, so we know when the weekends are I can change mine, but cannot change yours, and until you are approved I don't think you will be able to.)

Kat

Ran a bit late today, so we had supper before I got a chance to sit down in front of the computer and write a response.  Just wondered what kinds of cereal bars and pop tarts you liked or would you prefer pancakes for breakfast if someone made them for you?

Do you have your own place now, I seem to recall your mum making amazing breakfasts with waffles, pancakes and bacon, or was that just for my benefit? ;)

Today was a good day, the kids didn't play up too much and I managed to get their interest with a race putting on a suit of armour, not easy.  The girls won the race but lost overall because they didn't actually get the "knightess" armoured correctly in the end and had too many penalties.  Though I suspect there were a couple of boys who actually know what a suit of armour and its various pieces are used for. They had to label each piece as well, but that was pretty even, I suspect because the girls were able to apply their french skills.

Home is a small cottage about a half a mile from the school,  I drive to work mainly because of the things I need to take in (like armour!).  It's only two bedrooms with a single small bathroom but its big enough for both of us.  Downstairs there is a living room and a kitchen, the living room has a small open fire that I use in the winter.  It's quaint in its own way and was built in the nineteenth century as a farm labourers cottage.  I suspect I will have to decorate soon, its not got much of a modern style as it was decorated how I bought it from an old couple, DC is getting to the point where she has thoughts about colours and things, and more concerningly she is starting to make more sense.  I really didn't want to live in a yellow and pink house, which was last years favourite!

Where are you liviing at the moment and how was your day?

Love

Ben

OOC Probably won't get back on until Monday now

[AAA111]

Sent Fri 24 June 2011: 9:30 AM

(Okay cool sounds good to me..THANKS!)

Ben

You know when you ask questions like that it kind of melts a girls heart. Makes me think that maybe you are planning something in that cute little head of yours..so are you? Um not as big of a cereal bar fan as I actually let on but I LOVE the cinnamon sugar pop-tarts..Mm mm yummy. I love pancakes I just am so lazy in the morning that I never feel like making them.

Um yeah I have my own place now. I'm living with one of my very good friends. Oh gosh do I remember those days. They were so freaking amazing and yeah it definitely was just for you Sir. Mom never made me breakfast unless you came over. She had a special place in her heart just for you. She was just as devastated as I was when we broke up. She asks/talks about you still.

Wow that kind of sounds hard to me but then again I well kind of always sucked at history. I never knew anything and you were always the one tutoring me so it is a perfect fit for you now.

Aww your home sounds very cute and quaint, very cute ;) Aww yellow and pink house that sounds really funny. Just so glad that you are such a good daddy to her. I knew you always would be a wonderful and amazing father. My house is located about a mile off campus. It is a 3 bedroom apartment. The 3rd bedroom we have set-up as a spare bedroom but we are thinking about converting it in into a recreation room with pool tables and what not. We'll see how that works though. We each have our own bathroom and downstairs is the laundry room, kitchen, and livign room. I love it .

I'm living about 10 miles outside of Orlando. My day was so so I guess. It has been a little bit stressful but what else can really be expected when you are working with 10 2 1/2 year olds. But I love every minute of it. They love going outside to play on the playground and ride their bikes. It is definitely a fun time.

Love
Kat

[Drax]

Sent Fri 24 June 18.00

Kat

Might be, I like to hope you will want to stay with us for a few days,in which case it would be good to have some things in that you like and expect.  I remember when I came over to the US there were some things that I really missed about England. I am sure that the reverse will hold true, though you might be pleased to hear that I can now buy Oreo's here.  When I first cam eback there were hardly any places that sold them and they were imported and expensive, the supermarket now stocks them as standard! Maybe if you are good, I'll even make you pancakes in the morning ;)

Say hi to your mom for me and send her my love, I'm sure you've let her know that we are back in contact, she is one cool mum and you are very lucky.  I hope she won't miss you too much when you come over.  Interested to know though as you had applied to university over here before I mailed you, what was the reason for choosing England?

Sometimes I wish I was teaching younger kids too, the challenges are harder and I'm glad I'm teaching where I am now, I started at an inner city school and that was a lot tougher, both to motivate the kids to learn and to stay alive some days! (ok I exagerate ...a little ).

My weekends plans are fairly fluid at the moment, but besides taking DC to the park I think I'll spend some time doing the housework,  its not many weeks until you will be here and I'll need to get tidied up and get the place spick and span. We might go out and get some paint too now we've almost agreed on a colour scheme of a more sane kind.

I can't wait to see you and hold you in my arms again, we'll book the flights tomorrow in a travel agent so that we're insured, the iceland incident last yeart makes me slightly wary and one of my school friends runs one of the shops in town, so I'll get a good rate.

What are you up to this weekend?

Love

Ben

[AAA111]

Sent Fri 24 June 22:00

Ben

I would love to stay with you for a few days but of course this would mean that...i'd have to meet your wonderful daughter DC. Yeah I have my little things that I have to have each day and let's just say that OREOS is one of them so I'm really glad that they finally have them over there now. Whoo-hoo! Me good? Ha. I'm always good. I love my pancakes :)

I will send your hellos to her and yes I did tell her that I am finally back in contact with you and gosh you can't believe how excited she is about it all. She is almost as excited as I am!! She is actually thinking of moving to London. She doesn't really have much to link her to here so she is thinking about that. I don 't know how far that is from Cambridge but eh who knows. To be completely honest with you I had one sole reason for choosing England and that was you. The hope that maybe I could get back the best thing I ever lost.

Well that sounds like fun and I am sure that DC loves the weekends because it is a break and she gets to spend lots of time with her wonderful sweet and caring daddy. Ohhhh a sane paint color that sounds pretty awesome to me and I know it is getting so close..ahhh!

I absolutely can not wait until I am able to be in your arms once again. We'll let me know details of the flight and all of that good stuff so I can pick you up for the airport and what not. My roommate is moving out at the end of this month so I'll two open rooms available until I move out

Um honestly probably just watching tv and doing nothing..Maybe enjoying the weather but mostly just relaxing :)

Love
Kat

[Drax]

Sent Sat 25 June 08.30 am

Morning x

But you'll have already met her when we come over to Orlando I hope! So it won;t be such a suprose when you come back home with us for a visit to England.

I chuckled at the thought of your mum in London, I'm not sure she would enjoy living there, there are some nice parts but they are rather expensive to live in.  She might like something in Fulham at around $3m US, but that would barely get her a 4 bed house, and a small yard.  The lights of the city are always more attractive, Vegas is great to visit but would you want to live there?

We'll be going into town shortly so I'm keeping this brief and will let you know the flight details when I have them this evening.

Love

Ben x

[AAA111]

Sent Sat 25 June 11:30am

Morning cutie

Yeah I know I know I should have met her by then but I'm still really nervous to meet this beauty. I don't want her to think that I'm so stupid bimbo that is trying to take her mom's place because I'm not. I'm well..just in love with her handsome father that's all. I don't want her to think of me as some stupid girl.

Yeah I told her that chances are she would not like it but she is very insistent upon it. Especially when she heard that I'll be closer to you. She got excited. My mom is crazy. She always talks about me and you and how she was waiting to help plan our wedding. I'm sorry I know I shouldn't say things like that. Don't be mad at me :-(

Well I'll be around just chilling and maybe doing some work or something. Get ready for work next week but I'll be around. Enjoy your day with D.C.

Love
Kat <3

[Drax]

Sent Sat 25 June 19.00

Kat

There is no real need to be worried, she is really cool about people, she does however feel that we both need a new mum since my parents died.  Their death hit her quite badly but she analysed it pretty well we had already talked about her mum dying which is why she wasn't around.  She has a concept of death and its finality and has therefore accepted that she won't see them again.  She feels however that I am lonely (though less so in these last few days I confess) and wants us both to have a new mum, aaargh - its complex explaining anything to a six year old, when their understanding revolves around the one sentence you utter and only the words and concepts that they actually understand within them.  It was easier when kids are 2, they just run riot everywhere as I'm sure you know and they just want their own needs attended to pretty much. She's entered the questioning phase and I'm glad I'm a teacher, otherwise I doubt I would have had the practise at being so patient!

Went into town today and booked the flights

15:00 Depart London (LHR)
Arrive Orlando (MCO) 23:34  Sat 30-Jul
Duration: 13hr 34mn    Air Canada 849  / 922
Connect in Toronto (YYZ)

13:45 Depart Orlando (MCO)
Arrive London (LHR) 07:30  +1 day  Wed 10-Aug
Duration: 12hr 45mn    bmi  4283  /  4466
Connect in Washington (IAD)


When we were together last I think we were too young to contemplate wedding, that was for older people, like our parents. Now we're older more mature and I hope it will be the natural outcome in the future once we have gotten used to each other again.  You might not like me or my the habits I've picked up since we were together.  Whilst I would love to and to an extent I am living a bit of a dream at the moment with the thought of getting back with you I hope reality matches.  I do need to be conscious of DC and I'm clearly not a "free" as I was back then.  Your mum might have to be patient for a little while whilst we recapture and experience our magic together.

I looked at direct flights but they were more expensive and although the  journey time is longer its not that bad a lay over and it least gives us a bit of a break to stretch our legs on the way. Getting excited and DC is getting very excited about the prospect of seeing you and disneyworld appropriately.

Love

Ben

[AAA111]

Sent Sat June 25 23:10

Ben

I loved your parents so much. They were two of the coolest people that I knew and that is another reason why I feel absolutely horrible about us. I should of stayed in closer contact with you because they would have liked that. I don't want you to be lonely at all. I know I know you will say that it is not my fault but in some part I feel like I do hold a lot of the responsibility for it. If I would have just grown up and realized that if I would have gone with you to England then we would still be together and you wouldn't be so lonely. But then again you have a beautiful little girl and that is the most precious gift you will ever have.

Well I'm really excited that I will be seeing you and meeting DC for the first time in a little over a month. You'll have to let me know where you want me to meet you and all that good stuff!

Yeah we were a little too young but now we have both grown up a lot and realize that we are meant to be together. And I'm pretty sure that I will love you and your habits even more than the last time I saw you. How can't I really? She will be so excited to know we are trying to get our magic back together. All she ever wants is for me to be happy and she knows that when I'm with you that will always happen. I told her all about DC and she is pretty excited to meet this beauty someday.

Love

Kat

[Drax]

Sent Sun June 26 08:10

Kat

No idea what its like but I've booked the Disney's All-Star Music Resort and a budget car as well. The hotel has some child care facilities which will mean we can get some time just for us.  I really can't remember all the distances involved but it would really great if you could meet us at the airport though I know that might be difficult, otherwise come over to the hotel if you can that evening.  I'll drop you an email with my room number and I might even get a PAYG phone at the airport as well, I suspect we might make one or two calls to each other (I miss those long chats we had), in the UK calls still cost per minute for landlines although strengely mobile calls often get bundled and if you negotiate something you can get pretty cheap calls across the network. 

I'm getting nervous, or rather butterflies just thinking about meeting you again so long, its partly excitement, partly fear and mainly immmense happiness.  Can you help plan what we do once we are over there.  I'm not sure I know what the best things for six years olds are to visit and probably best to do a long day followed by a more relaxing day.  Certainly Disney will wear her out I suspect if we did it everyday, although I do recall a lot of queuing.  With a car we'll be a bit more free and can visit you too (apparently only after we've gone to Donald Duck's house though - there is one isn't there?)

Love
Ben xx

[AAA111]

Sent Sun June 26 13:45

Ben

Wow you got that hotel?? Wow that place is supposed to be really nice and it is geared towards kids so I am sure that DC is going to absolutely love it! The hotel is about an hour from my place and about 30 minutes from my parents and I'm moving in with mom and dad for a few weeks before I move out to the UK. I'll be able to meet you at the airport and drive you around wherever you guys want. A PAYG phone would be a good idea..I have my cell and my home phone so you can call me wherever and whenever. Whoo!!

I'm getting really really anxious too. I'm just worried that maybe DC won't like me or that maybe I've changed too much and that you won't like me. I sure hope not but I can't help but get those feelings. Of course I can help you plan..well truth be told I kind of already have. I made a little itinerary of things we could each day. I know it is geeky but I just thought it was cute and fun. Haha. Of course there is Donald Duck's house. Your silly. We'll do that all. No worries.

Love
Kat <3

[Drax]

Sent June 26 18.55 (BST)  (ten minutes after yours)

Kat

I was actually on the machine when you replied, so we're almost connected now :). Glad you can confirm thtat the hotel is good, its one sof the cheaper ones at Disney so I was a little worried, the more expensive ones are just "WOW - that much!".  If you will be free to do the driving that will be great, I'll cancel the car and we can meet you at the airport, thanks.  That will cover at least one candlelit meal for us with the childcare service they offer, looking forward to that already.

You can't tell me that you have an ititenary and not share it!  DC or I might have an aversion to something, or there might be something else we miss that we want to go on, like any six year old if something gets her attention then she will want to experience it!  It'll be good to go to at least one of the evening shows, do they have fireworks?  She's just at an age where they won't scare her as much, the UK we tend to have them once a year and they can be very loud.  Younger kids tend to find most displays too noisy, but they are now great fun, the louder the better!

Quick note this time but you might still be online and able to reply with your itinary, I'll keep the PC open for a while anyway whilst I clear up so will keep an eye. Might watch a film later, probably a war film, possibly an episode from Band of Brothers, seen it before but I did enjoy them.

Love

Ben x