Perverted Wishes

[Belle33]

Granted, and you're pretty damn good, too.  You get picked up by a small band that skyrockets to fame and fortune only to die suddenly in a horrible plane crash - securing your place in rock-n-roll history books.  But - totally worth it, right?

I wish I had come up with the idea for youtube - Belletube!

[Zaphod]

Granted but all your naked home videos get uploaded first. *grins* I wish i could go back in time.

[Belle33]

Granted, I'm sending you back to yesterday, but you have to promise to not to change a single thing.   ;)

I wish the reality tv shows would all end.

[One-Eyed Jack]

Granted.  Television has been uninvented.

I wish Boston cream pie qualified as a vegetable

[Belle33]

I've never had Boston Cream Pie, but it sounds good and that's probably the best wish ever - so, I'm pleased to grant it, though it now has twice the fat and calories as it did before and is the most unhealthy vegetable there is.

I wish Jack had two eyes.

[Adammair]

Granted, now both of them are permanently fixed on Belle's breasts. :P

I wish to be an ethical computer hacker genius.

[Captain Maltese]

Congratulations. You are now a burning Chinese communist computer expert, working 20 hours per day in a hacker unit that attacks decadent western companies' servers. According to your ethics you are a flawless, highly moral hero of the war against socialism's enemies.

I wish I could have a burger and enjoy it.

[Linwood Badr]

Granted but while your enjoying said burger the local zoo animals all escape and ransack your home town.

I wish I could relax for a bit.

[Villain]

Wish granted your now on a morphine drip, enjoy your blurry life :D

I wish I could destroy reality tv muhahahaha!

[Captain Maltese]

Congratulations. That crap has NEVER WORKED.

I wish I could own a horse.

[Belle33]

Granted - one hobby horse coming up.

I wish I had a lovely singing voice.

[Sapien]

Granted you're able to sing like Tom Waits!

Wishes I could get this awesomely worked out profile  >:)

[Belle33]

Granted - but it gets mixed up with someone elses and you are not pleased with the RP requests that start rolling in.   >:)

I wish I could master Tae Kwon Do.

[Captain Maltese]

Congratulations, you do. I hope you enjoyed the thousands and thousands of hours of training it took, and the many hours per week it will take to maintain your master grade. And most of the time is spent repeating patterns over and over and over and over - but hey, at least you can use all this knowledge to... to....

I wish I had a fully operational Abrams tanks complete with ammo and crew.

[Beguile's Mistress]

Well, you do, my dear, along with the foot high pile of parking citations to go with it.


I wish there was blue sky outside my window and no clouds.

[Belle33]

Happily granted.  Sadly, you are looking outside your hospital window and well.... *places a comforting hand on your shoulder* ... your prognosis is not good.

I wish I could cure the common cold.

[Linwood Badr]

Granted, sadly some scientists are jealous and kill you in your sleep.

I wish I had the ability to sleep whenever I wanted.

[Mordred]

Before granting.. I gotta admit, I want that ability as well.. however...
'Tis granted.. but along with sleeping whenever you want, you also fall asleep at other random moments. And this ends up spiraling out of control.. until you find yourself unable to wake, appearing in a coma.. with the plug just about to be pulled.

I wish I could split into two versions of myself, letting my 'other' do whatever the hell he wants.

[Belle33]

Happily granted since it's such an awesome wish.  Unfortunately, neither half has all the knowledge and ability as the the whole Mordred, and they both scurry around being unsuccessful with this or that.

I wish I always knew the right thing to do.

[TiaMaria]

Unfortunately, doing the right thing has bankrupted you in minutes.


I wish I had a much faster motorbike than my current one.

[Kendra]

granted  unfortunately it costs so much more to maintain that you are soon begging for your old one again


I wish I could sleep right now

[Adammair]

Before granting, I must say that I don't think I will be able to sleep again after seeing that avi, Kendra. Wow! She's hot, in more ways than one. ;D I want!
Granted, you fall asleep immediately, causing anyone witnessing it to think you've had an aneurysm, or that you suffer from narcolepsy.

I wish that I had the skill, talent, and ability of any member of Cirque du Soleil.

[Linwood Badr]

(Made me do research for this one, not cool :P...er, also sorry if I get this wrong...)

Granted, you have the dexterity of their best, but you accidentally kill people while you're practicing your new skill, and well, that's the end of that.

I wish my family wasn't so narrow-minded.

[SweetSierra]

Granted, but now you need to contend with the cult of rabbit sacrificing pygmies they've invited to live with you as a way of expanding their cultural horizons.

I wish I could go for a run in the mountains right now.

[Missy]

granted, but it's uphill both ways and uphill all the way home.

I wish someone cute would post in the social boards.