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Author Topic: Things you don't want to hear on the first date  (Read 14361 times)

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Offline Phil66666Topic starter

Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« on: April 24, 2012, 10:25:06 AM »
But I bring my chicken with me everywhere!

Offline Kitsunetsuki

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #1 on: April 24, 2012, 10:34:04 AM »
and that's when I told my doc, "I didn't even know syphilis still existed!"

Offline Dahling

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #2 on: April 24, 2012, 10:35:40 AM »
I have ten cats.

Offline Rex Pacis

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #3 on: April 24, 2012, 10:51:40 AM »
Oh....I thought you were your friend.....awkward...

Offline Aaron Divine

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #4 on: April 24, 2012, 11:24:39 AM »
I just had plastic surgery.

Offline Beguile's Mistress

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #5 on: April 24, 2012, 08:19:51 PM »
"I have to be home before the sun comes up."

Offline Mordred

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #6 on: April 24, 2012, 10:45:48 PM »
We better hurry to my place. I have a curfew.

Offline Lady Haven

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #7 on: April 24, 2012, 10:55:13 PM »
Has anyone every told you you look like Adrien Brody

Offline Mordred

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #8 on: April 24, 2012, 10:57:33 PM »
Has anyone every told you you look like Adrien Brody

(I'm assuming you mean me? Now that you mention.. I see what you mean. Although.. perhaps, lovely one, it's also the angle from which your eyes are watching?  :-)..)

Offline Mordred

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #9 on: April 24, 2012, 11:18:33 PM »
But.. this you don't wanna hear.. (or.. I assume.. for this is said from a guy's point of view.. :P)..

You look just like my mom.

Offline Lady Haven

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #10 on: April 24, 2012, 11:19:41 PM »
(I'm assuming you mean me? Now that you mention.. I see what you mean. Although.. perhaps, lovely one, it's also the angle from which your eyes are watching?  :-)..)

The angle is perfect and yes I love Adrien Brody at any angle.

Offline Lady Haven

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #11 on: April 24, 2012, 11:23:27 PM »
But.. this you don't wanna hear.. (or.. I assume.. for this is said from a guy's point of view.. :P)..

You look just like my mom.

Nobodys mom but I did look like a guys sister once. Too Weird

Offline Breathless Intent

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #12 on: April 25, 2012, 03:48:29 AM »
I love you.

Offline Xandi

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #13 on: April 25, 2012, 07:01:51 AM »
I want you to meet my family

Offline Berek

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #14 on: April 25, 2012, 09:59:59 AM »
Would you like to see my stamp collection?

Offline Malthas

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #15 on: April 25, 2012, 11:26:56 AM »
My family member is getting out of jail tomorrow!

Offline Xandi

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #16 on: April 25, 2012, 11:36:30 AM »
You are the first man I have seen since I got out of jail, wanna give me a freebie

Offline Dahling

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #17 on: April 25, 2012, 12:33:44 PM »
We're going to make such beautiful babies, I can't wait!

Offline Berek

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #18 on: April 25, 2012, 01:19:52 PM »
Will you come with me to church on Sunday?

Offline Nico

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #19 on: April 25, 2012, 01:25:04 PM »
Well, I don't date anymore because I am in a relationship - but... what I wouldn't want to hear is a ..:"Wanna......" you get my drift.

Offline Phil66666Topic starter

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #20 on: April 25, 2012, 08:06:39 PM »
Yes, son, your mother is dating again

Offline Etah dna Evol

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #21 on: April 25, 2012, 09:53:40 PM »
I hope you don't mind kids . . . . .

Offline twerdgirl

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #22 on: April 26, 2012, 06:16:03 AM »
Just to get it out of the way I'm Schizophrenic and on about ten different kinds of medications. Also the governments after my hair.

Offline Malthas

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #23 on: April 26, 2012, 06:25:01 AM »
Try to ignore my sweaty feet kay, I don't shower a lot.

Offline twerdgirl

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #24 on: April 26, 2012, 06:31:07 AM »
I'm sorry I'm late, but I had to make sure my dog's emotional energy was positive.

Offline Malthas

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #25 on: April 26, 2012, 06:32:07 AM »
Hey did I ever mention you look like my last ex he was such a jerk and.....

Offline SummerWhispers

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #26 on: April 26, 2012, 07:54:00 AM »
My mom is almost ready, she will be dropping us off and picking us back up, she does not think is is safe for me to be out after dark, without her.

Offline Coreli

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #27 on: April 26, 2012, 09:54:57 AM »
... before we get started, let's go over some ground rules...

Offline Sasquatch421

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #28 on: April 26, 2012, 01:02:46 PM »
I almost didn't make it....I just got my Night Elf to level 60 in WoW!

Offline Xandi

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #29 on: April 26, 2012, 01:16:30 PM »
I think I might be pregnant

Online ABagOVicodin

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #30 on: April 26, 2012, 01:19:41 PM »
I have a strict gaming schedule, let's get this overwith.

Offline Xandi

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #31 on: April 26, 2012, 01:22:56 PM »
My mother is making me go out with you

Offline Phil66666Topic starter

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #32 on: April 26, 2012, 01:28:42 PM »
My mom is almost ready, she will be dropping us off and picking us back up, she does not think is is safe for me to be out after dark, without her.


But don't worry, since she fell in that vat of acid she's got a thing for guys like you.

Online ABagOVicodin

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #33 on: April 26, 2012, 01:29:05 PM »
My ex says we can only do this dinner, nothing else.

Offline Artairus Dent

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #34 on: April 26, 2012, 04:27:30 PM »
So, what's your 'safe word'?

Offline SinfulAngel

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #35 on: April 26, 2012, 04:37:17 PM »
So, what's your 'safe word'?
Count me in? hehe awesome.



How long is this movie, i've got a raid in 2 hours.


Offline Belle33

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #36 on: April 26, 2012, 07:27:45 PM »
This is the first good meal I've had since leaving prison.

Offline Mr Bigglesworth

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #37 on: April 26, 2012, 07:48:05 PM »
Mind if I bring my cats?

Offline Belle33

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #38 on: April 26, 2012, 08:03:33 PM »
I'm not too picky about where we eat, as long as it's vegan, non gluten, non dairy, organic and kosher. 

Offline Breathless Intent

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #39 on: April 26, 2012, 08:06:32 PM »
So, we're gonna do it right?

Offline Beguile's Mistress

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #40 on: April 26, 2012, 08:09:36 PM »
By the way, I don't have any cash and my credit card was hacked.

Offline Adammair

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #41 on: April 26, 2012, 08:10:56 PM »
I think I might be pregnant

"Be honest. Do I look pregnant?"

Offline DeMalachine

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #42 on: April 26, 2012, 08:23:39 PM »
I can vouch for this restaurant. The food is wonderful. And the staff are so accomodating, too. Once, I came here with one of my realdol- oh, never mind.

Offline PigPin

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #43 on: April 26, 2012, 08:28:10 PM »
I forgot to mention just one small detail It's run by nudists and we're going to be overdressed. 
« Last Edit: April 26, 2012, 08:30:41 PM by PigPin »

Offline Adammair

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #44 on: April 26, 2012, 08:29:15 PM »
"Can we go to a different restaurant? My parole officer just walked in..."

Offline PigPin

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #45 on: April 26, 2012, 08:32:19 PM »
Don't be alarmed if you see a lot of flashing lights...I'm sort of in the middle of a police chase....I just escaped from prison to meet you....So what do you do?

Offline Adammair

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #46 on: April 26, 2012, 08:37:00 PM »
"Are you sure this is our first date? I feel like I've met you somewhere..." *snaps fingers* "...THAT'S IT! In my former life, we were... (insert your own continuation here)" XD

Offline PigPin

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #47 on: April 26, 2012, 08:39:23 PM »
I knew it you do look prettier up close, those binoculars doesn't do you justice.

Offline synthesis

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #48 on: April 27, 2012, 01:40:11 AM »
I'm just drifting along, jobs are for the weak...

Offline Xandi

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #49 on: April 27, 2012, 06:10:36 AM »
Do you mind if my girlfriend comes along, she doesn't trust me for some reason?

Offline Mr Bigglesworth

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #50 on: April 27, 2012, 06:54:09 AM »
Can you cut my toenails first?

Offline SummerWhispers

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #51 on: April 27, 2012, 11:15:59 AM »
You did bring your credit card, didn't you?

Offline Mr Bigglesworth

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #52 on: April 27, 2012, 11:31:41 AM »
Just so you know, I'm impotent.

Offline SinfulAngel

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #53 on: April 27, 2012, 01:42:53 PM »
Here's a tissue *pulls tissue from bra*

Offline Mr Bigglesworth

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #54 on: April 27, 2012, 01:44:20 PM »
I have my own tissues *Pulls from crotch*

Offline SinfulAngel

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #55 on: April 27, 2012, 01:59:06 PM »
I have my own tissues *Pulls from crotch*
That is amazing.. but most definitely undesired to the ears on a first date.


So my wife thinks i'm cheating on her.

Offline Mordred

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #56 on: April 27, 2012, 02:11:40 PM »
Oh shit. Lemme just make a pitstop at the store.. forgot, I don't have any condoms. We are gonna have sex, right? I mean.. jeez.. you ordered lobster!

Offline SummerWhispers

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #57 on: April 28, 2012, 10:30:54 AM »
Oh here,*reaches in purse and hands him a note*, this my price list, some of which is negotiable of course.

Offline Mordred

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #58 on: April 28, 2012, 12:01:58 PM »
I'll have extra garlic on that!

Offline Raeyna

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #59 on: April 28, 2012, 06:24:05 PM »
*looking up from iPhone* I've booked the Church for Saturday. I'm so excited about our wedding!

Offline Kurzyk

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #60 on: April 28, 2012, 06:30:28 PM »
Go ahead and order, I'll be right back... man I really have to take a crap.

Offline Grainne

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #61 on: April 28, 2012, 07:44:23 PM »
Oh...I didn't tell you I lived in my parents' basement?

Offline SummerWhispers

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #62 on: April 28, 2012, 08:06:32 PM »
My boyfriend will of course be joining us for dinner, and I think he may even be planning on pay for his own meal.

Offline Mordred

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #63 on: April 28, 2012, 09:09:44 PM »
Hey.. wanna see my laboratory?

Offline Adammair

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #64 on: April 29, 2012, 08:24:41 AM »
"Whaddya mean you've never met a 30th level dwarven cleric/fighter/thief?!"

Offline SummerWhispers

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #65 on: April 29, 2012, 02:27:38 PM »
Here grab these change rolls, and help me get these quarters and dimes rolled, we should be good with just those, but if we have desert we will have to roll up some nickels.

Offline Rhys Thanatos

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #66 on: April 29, 2012, 09:12:10 PM »
So, I just wanted to let you know before this date goes any further.  I really have a penis under this skirt.  I hope you dont mind, I can keep it hidden if you prefer.

Offline colerie1974

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #67 on: April 29, 2012, 09:20:09 PM »
Hey...can I borrow 20 bucks?

Offline Rhys Thanatos

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #68 on: April 29, 2012, 09:22:27 PM »
I have to wear a colostomy bag

Offline Xenolord

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #69 on: April 29, 2012, 09:35:51 PM »
What do you mean I can't bring another two dates to this one? Girls are like Voltron. The more you hook up, the better it gets!

Offline Raeyna

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #70 on: April 30, 2012, 01:25:29 AM »
I'm 6 weeks pregnant, congratulations Daddy!

Offline Xydaef

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #71 on: April 30, 2012, 02:07:05 AM »
I really like you, you should meet my family!

Offline Veluux

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #72 on: April 30, 2012, 02:59:17 AM »
My ex __________.

Offline Adammair

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #73 on: April 30, 2012, 03:18:44 AM »
My ex __________.

...is pregnant. I really should be getting back to her.

Offline Xandi

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #74 on: April 30, 2012, 04:22:18 AM »
wanna go dumpster diving?

Offline PigPin

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #75 on: April 30, 2012, 07:29:21 AM »
I'm doing this reality show....hope you don't mind.

Offline Berek

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #76 on: May 02, 2012, 07:37:43 AM »
Let me just set up the webcam...

Offline Xandi

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #77 on: May 02, 2012, 07:39:46 AM »
This is my first date so I hope you don't mind if my mom documents it for me on video.

Offline Adammair

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #78 on: May 02, 2012, 07:43:20 AM »
"...so then I hid the body, and...What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

Offline Mr Bigglesworth

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #79 on: May 02, 2012, 07:44:07 AM »
Mind if I bring my cats with me?

Offline PigPin

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #80 on: May 02, 2012, 07:50:28 AM »
Who...him...he's just my gimp.  He won't make a sound.

Offline Shadowfox113

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #81 on: May 02, 2012, 12:00:33 PM »
It's just a lip fungus, it comes and goes...

Offline PigPin

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #82 on: May 02, 2012, 12:02:43 PM »
Sorry I had to bring the children...It's my wife's turn to go out solo.

Offline Xandi

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #83 on: May 02, 2012, 02:57:08 PM »
Don't worry I just want sex

Offline Berek

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #84 on: May 02, 2012, 03:21:58 PM »
I never have sex on a first date

Offline Mr Bigglesworth

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #85 on: May 02, 2012, 03:33:26 PM »
I really dig your nose hair.

Offline Xandi

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #86 on: May 02, 2012, 03:40:46 PM »
If you are out with a woman something a woman does not want to hear......You look just like my best friend from high school, he had hair in his ears too.

Offline Mr Bigglesworth

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #87 on: May 02, 2012, 03:42:39 PM »
^__^ I don't think many men would appreciate that either!

My car was impounded, do you mind riding on the back of my bicycle?

Offline Galactic Druid

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #88 on: May 05, 2012, 12:51:06 AM »
This one actually happened, and has an entire creepy story to go along with it.
*creepy state* What do you think of the names Robert and Amanda?"

Offline Adammair

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #89 on: May 05, 2012, 03:44:15 AM »
"I really like you...but then, I also really liked my ex who ended up stalking me, killing my dog, and stealing my car and wrecking it..."

Offline Xandi

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #90 on: May 05, 2012, 05:24:38 AM »
The thing I don't want to hear on a first date is, "You have no chance of ever being with Adammair. He is taken so get over it.".(I like my delusions) :-[ :-[

Offline Xenolord

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #91 on: May 05, 2012, 10:17:56 AM »
"If we get married, can we get married on a Bird of Prey, by a Klingon?"

Yep. I went there.

Offline PigPin

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #92 on: May 05, 2012, 03:30:50 PM »
10001010 00011010 10101010  oh i'm sorry i thought everyone spoke binary. 

Offline SummerWhispers

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #93 on: May 06, 2012, 09:49:02 AM »
I know we barely know each other, but could you lend me fifty dollars, til my mom gets paid.

Offline Rex Pacis

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #94 on: May 06, 2012, 09:51:07 AM »
"Hey can you validate my parking?"

Offline SummerWhispers

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #95 on: May 07, 2012, 09:57:47 AM »
I promised my girl friend I would bring you back to our place afterwards, she likes to take pictures of my dates.

Offline PigPin

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #96 on: May 07, 2012, 10:29:17 AM »
How do you feel about crabs? Hmmm...we're not getting seafood.

Offline Izzie Aditi

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #97 on: May 07, 2012, 11:57:04 AM »
So I just came out of the psych ward..

Offline Adammair

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #98 on: May 07, 2012, 12:52:47 PM »
"So I just came from a rave. I'm still pretty smashed..."

Offline Breathless Intent

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #99 on: May 07, 2012, 12:53:51 PM »
I love getting free food on dates! Where are you taking me for dinner?

Offline PigPin

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #100 on: May 07, 2012, 12:55:28 PM »
Free? I thought you were paying.  All my assets are frozen in the freezer.

Offline Breathless Intent

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #101 on: May 07, 2012, 12:58:36 PM »
Where's my present?

Offline Malthas

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #102 on: May 07, 2012, 01:51:14 PM »
Let's make sure to be done in an hour okay, my next date wants to see the movie at nine.

Offline PigPin

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #103 on: May 07, 2012, 02:01:09 PM »
You look to have childbearing hips....Good. I'm thinking at least a dozen....Shall we.

Offline Somnifera

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #104 on: May 07, 2012, 03:33:15 PM »
I love you.

Offline RainbowLei

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #105 on: May 07, 2012, 03:47:15 PM »
That friend that hooked us up said you were into... I was thinking after dessert, my place, you brought your things right?

Offline PigPin

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #106 on: May 07, 2012, 03:48:47 PM »
So I was thinking we'd just cut the crap and let you meet my parents.

Offline Galactic Druid

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #107 on: May 08, 2012, 02:24:03 AM »
Another true one, and the last time I used eHarmony;

Do you mind if we meet somewhere closer to me? There's an iHop near my house. My dad just doesn't want to drive that far.

Offline Mordred

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #108 on: May 08, 2012, 11:52:21 PM »
Hey! You're my first date after doing 15 big ones for murder. So.. umm.. you gonna eat your dessert?
« Last Edit: May 09, 2012, 12:31:10 AM by Mordred »

Offline SummerWhispers

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #109 on: May 09, 2012, 08:45:04 AM »
I hope you don't mind, I told my wife we would stop by her birthday party for a couple of hours.

Offline RainbowLei

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #110 on: May 09, 2012, 11:04:57 AM »
I love that cute little zebra stripped pillow on your bed, you know the one you keep your secret toys in, and the way your hair drapes around your body when you sleep, so much like the last girl.

Offline BrokenShards

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #111 on: May 09, 2012, 01:50:16 PM »
I don't think I cooked that chicken properly...

Offline Xandi

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #112 on: May 09, 2012, 03:09:02 PM »
I have to be back to the half way house by 10pm or the police will track my ankle bracelet and pick me up and believe me that can be embarrassing.

Offline Tidus

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #113 on: May 09, 2012, 03:41:03 PM »
You don't need to worry about protection. I'm already pregnant!

Offline DeMalachine

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #114 on: May 09, 2012, 03:53:48 PM »
You're so wonderful! Even my sperms are eager to meet you!

Offline Mr Bigglesworth

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #115 on: May 09, 2012, 03:57:50 PM »
You're wearing that?  Does your mom dress you too?

Offline MiaFire

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #116 on: May 09, 2012, 04:00:49 PM »
If we work out, I don't want to meet your family, because it would just be too awkward with having dated your two brothers as well, before.

Offline Breathless Intent

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #117 on: May 09, 2012, 04:04:31 PM »
Ugh...I think I have gas.

Offline shooter6806

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #118 on: May 09, 2012, 05:54:13 PM »
Can I borrow your phone?  I need to call my parole officer.

Offline Tsumi Okazaki

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #119 on: May 12, 2012, 10:46:32 AM »
My husband won't mind at all, dear.

Offline TheLegionary

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #120 on: May 12, 2012, 10:48:50 AM »
セクスは いかがですか。 
まだです。

Offline Xandi

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #121 on: May 12, 2012, 10:50:59 AM »
I want to hear what TL said in that last post for sure.

Offline Adammair

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #122 on: May 12, 2012, 11:29:35 AM »
I want to hear what TL said in that last post for sure.

+1

Offline Tsumi Okazaki

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #123 on: May 12, 2012, 12:46:57 PM »
Will you be my alibi?

Offline TheLegionary

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #124 on: May 12, 2012, 12:49:36 PM »
If I scream too much, it is because of my back pain. Dont worry!

Offline Xandi

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #125 on: May 12, 2012, 12:52:46 PM »
You've had your shots, right?

Offline TheLegionary

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #126 on: May 12, 2012, 12:57:29 PM »
Will you marry me?

Offline Xandi

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #127 on: May 12, 2012, 12:58:16 PM »
If you could just sign this non disclosure statement we can begin.

Offline Tsumi Okazaki

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #128 on: May 12, 2012, 12:59:02 PM »
You don't mind if I use your tub, right? I'll try not to clog the drain.

Offline TheLegionary

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #129 on: May 12, 2012, 01:01:46 PM »
Would you mind telling me your blood type? I just want to be sure that Fetal erythroblastosis will not take place if we have a baby.

Offline Tsumi Okazaki

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #130 on: May 12, 2012, 01:08:14 PM »
I'm sorry, you did say that your a donor, correct?

Offline Grainne

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #131 on: May 12, 2012, 07:37:51 PM »
Do you mind if we stop by the s.o.'s and ask permission?

Offline shooter6806

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #132 on: May 12, 2012, 07:44:04 PM »
My dad's a cop.

Offline Tsumi Okazaki

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #133 on: May 12, 2012, 07:45:52 PM »
Hey do you mind dropping me off at the Doc's when we're done here? I got this thing I need to get looked at.

Offline Grainne

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #134 on: May 12, 2012, 07:46:42 PM »
My dad's a cop.
Ha!

So...did I tell you my Dad's a pastor?

Offline Tsumi Okazaki

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #135 on: May 12, 2012, 07:59:54 PM »
I want our family to be like Christ.

Offline Xandi

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #136 on: May 12, 2012, 08:23:08 PM »
I hope you don't mind but I had beans for dinner. I am kinda gassy sorry

Offline Tsumi Okazaki

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #137 on: May 12, 2012, 08:38:55 PM »
Ha!

I didn't want to say this, but I've been watching you for some time now.....

Offline Breathless Intent

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #138 on: May 12, 2012, 08:42:49 PM »
Are you free next week? I need someone to watch my kids while I go on a date with this guy I'm really into.

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #139 on: May 13, 2012, 09:04:39 AM »
"-It's a mystery to me, but the game commences...

-The usual fee, Sir, plus expenses."

(opening lines of Dire Straits' Private Investigations, with one or two words added and removed)
« Last Edit: May 13, 2012, 09:08:25 AM by gaggedLouise »

Offline Tsumi Okazaki

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #140 on: May 13, 2012, 09:34:42 AM »
"-It's a mystery to me, but the game commences...

-The usual fee, Sir, plus expenses."

(opening lines of Dire Straits' Private Investigations, with one or two words added and removed)

Wow.... Just WOW. That would be horrible to hear on a date.

"Ms, my husband asks that I take you home to meet him. Sound good?"

Online gaggedLouise

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #141 on: May 13, 2012, 09:44:55 AM »
Wow.... Just WOW. That would be horrible to hear on a date.

"Ms, my husband asks that I take you home to meet him. Sound good?"


Mmm. I think that song is actually about jealousy in a marriage breaking down - or after the separation - with the private detective thing as a parable for what's going on in his mind.


"Shall we shag now or shall we shag later?" (from the movie Austin Powers)

Offline Tsumi Okazaki

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #142 on: May 13, 2012, 09:49:16 AM »
"I already have everything planned." Pulls out a list "First we are gonna get married at the vegas chapel, then adopt a few kids and attend church. Your gonna become a businesswoman while i play the stay at home mom."

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #143 on: May 13, 2012, 09:54:27 AM »
"You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Miss, and mortgaging your Daddy's fortune we will go all the way to the top."  ;D

Offline Tsumi Okazaki

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #144 on: May 13, 2012, 10:20:26 AM »
LOL

"I want to see more of you. Now. In fact there is a bathroom not ten feet away."

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #145 on: May 13, 2012, 10:26:26 AM »
"You're such a hjewel in the rough.
You wanna show me your stuff?
For my money, you can't be too soon!
I'll meet you, meet you in the ladies' room, a-ha-ha..."

(lyrics from Kiss, Ladies' Room - I once had that song playing on the radio in an RP of two bound women prison inmates (played by me and a buddy) getting forced to suck off a corrupt warden)
« Last Edit: May 13, 2012, 10:27:50 AM by gaggedLouise »

Offline Tsumi Okazaki

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #146 on: May 13, 2012, 10:34:10 AM »
"You're such a hjewel in the rough.
You wanna show me your stuff?
For my money, you can't be too soon!
I'll meet you, meet you in the ladies' room, a-ha-ha..."

(lyrics from Kiss, Ladies' Room - I once had that song playing on the radio in an RP of two bound women prison inmates (played by me and a buddy) getting forced to suck off a corrupt warden)
Lol I generally make the two take each other when in that kind of rp. Thats if im one of them. Im not real big on guys lol.

ok date line.

"I think I need a moment to look at you. Can you stand up and bend over?"

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #147 on: May 13, 2012, 10:44:22 AM »
"Oh, it cost that much? Musta been the wine, haha! Listen honey, you'll pay for the missing portion by doing some of their dish washing. After all, you're a girl, so you know..."  :-[


Mmm, yes, two ladies being forced to take each other for the pleasure of the ones instigating it?  :-)

I do RP vs both guy and girl characters (mostly acting a woman myself) but in-the-flesh I'm definitely more attracted to girls really...

Offline Tsumi Okazaki

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #148 on: May 13, 2012, 10:58:30 AM »
"Oh, it cost that much? Musta been the wine, haha! Listen honey, you'll pay for the missing portion by doing some of their dish washing. After all, you're a girl, so you know..."  :-[


Mmm, yes, two ladies being forced to take each other for the pleasure of the ones instigating it?  :-)

I do RP vs both guy and girl characters (mostly acting a woman myself) but in-the-flesh I'm definitely more attracted to girls really...
Clamps a hand over the woman's mouth and drags her into the door mat.

I never RP anything sex related with a guy. I'm strictly into women. This goes one hundred fold for real life.

"Would you mind helping me out? I need a quick lesson in sex so that I can satisfy the woman I'm meeting tomorrow."

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #149 on: May 13, 2012, 11:10:30 AM »
"No, people really watch this. It's a romantic film, you know, couples enjoy it"

(Travis Bickle taking the girl he's picked up to the scandal film Swedish Sex Manual in Taxi Driver. Being from the Land of the Midnight Sun myself I appreciate the irony of that scene - and the fact that Scorsese got his footage from an actual Swedish "sex ed" film (talbeit one very untypical of its time and place, even in 'sixties Sweden)

Offline Tsumi Okazaki

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #150 on: May 13, 2012, 11:24:51 AM »
(.... you lost me at sex-film. In fact you lost me completely lol.)

"Babe, there's a bug in my food. Would you swap with me?"

Online gaggedLouise

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #151 on: May 13, 2012, 11:40:52 AM »
You haven't seen Taxi Driver? (well, the rest of the film is nothing like that cold extract from a "sinful Scandinavian movie")

"I asked them to serve a special catfish for you. The Japanese kind that's sometimes a life hazard..."

Offline Tsumi Okazaki

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #152 on: May 13, 2012, 11:45:32 AM »
Nope. Sorry. If I have, I don't recall it.

"Baby will you hold my purse? I need to change my pad."

Offline TheLegionary

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #153 on: May 13, 2012, 12:42:19 PM »
Can you pay the bill? I ran short of limit in all my credit cards.

Offline SummerWhispers

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #154 on: May 13, 2012, 02:50:54 PM »
Hey my girlfriend is coming with us, she just broke up with her boyfriend and needs some company and perhaps dinner.

Offline Adammair

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #155 on: May 13, 2012, 05:19:19 PM »
Server: "What would you like?"
Date: "...his liver, with some fava beans, and a nice Chianti."

>:)

Offline SummerWhispers

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #156 on: May 13, 2012, 05:41:52 PM »
I forgot to fill my meds, but should be ok, you may need to make sure you do not let me get behind you for any length of time, as without my meds I sometimes see and think things that areillusion's.

Offline Kirce

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #157 on: May 13, 2012, 06:35:09 PM »
I love you.

Really? We just met!

Offline Mr Bigglesworth

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #158 on: May 13, 2012, 06:36:33 PM »
You forgot your makeup.

Offline Berek

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #159 on: May 14, 2012, 05:14:30 PM »
This is me with the makeup! ;)

Offline Mr Bigglesworth

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #160 on: May 14, 2012, 05:15:01 PM »
I forgot my kilt, can I borrow a skirt?

Offline Breathless Intent

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #161 on: May 14, 2012, 05:16:08 PM »
I always had the biggest crush of Charles Manson.

Offline Tsumi Okazaki

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #162 on: May 14, 2012, 05:18:33 PM »
"Your so much better than my last date. She didn't even have a pulse."

Offline Adammair

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #163 on: May 14, 2012, 05:32:21 PM »
"I'm sorry, what? I was distracted by that HUGE piece of food between your teeth..."

Offline Mr Bigglesworth

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #164 on: May 14, 2012, 05:33:47 PM »
I thought we could go to the carnival and clean up after the elephants, I love to do that!

Offline Breathless Intent

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #165 on: May 14, 2012, 05:35:41 PM »
I don't believe in showers.

Offline Adammair

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #166 on: May 14, 2012, 05:37:30 PM »
I don't believe in showers.

"...unless they're golden"

Offline Berek

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #167 on: May 14, 2012, 05:38:41 PM »
I don't believe in brushing my teeth.

Offline Mr Bigglesworth

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #168 on: May 14, 2012, 05:40:59 PM »
Before we even start I'll need a list of all your lovers.

Offline Adammair

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #169 on: May 14, 2012, 05:45:33 PM »
"So, tell me. Do you believe in polygamy?"

Offline Mr Bigglesworth

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #170 on: May 14, 2012, 05:48:20 PM »
You look just like my mother.

Offline Tsumi Okazaki

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #171 on: May 14, 2012, 10:18:40 PM »
I'm a reproductive abuser.

Online gaggedLouise

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #172 on: May 14, 2012, 11:10:30 PM »
I don't believe in showers.

(Young woman:) "Why have you come here on barefoot?"
(Man:) "I don't trust shoes."

-First encounter between the slave trader/mercenary (played by Klaus Kinski) and a Brazilian genteel lady in the film Cobra Verde, by Werner Herzog; after a while, they end up man and wife. Not the only weird oneliner Kinski gets to say in the movie, either, another one is this, when he and a crony have been caught by an African tribe (whom they wanted to catch and sell as slaves of course) and are lying bound in a field, surrounded by spear-waving, dancing tribesmen:

(crony:)"Aren't you afraid of dying?"
"I haven't tried it yet."

 ;D
« Last Edit: May 14, 2012, 11:13:04 PM by gaggedLouise »

Offline Argleblather

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #173 on: May 14, 2012, 11:58:59 PM »
These are all 73 of my cats... *flips out 348598 page album*

Offline Xandi

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #174 on: May 15, 2012, 04:43:08 AM »
*walks up to you and leans in close to sniff you*

You on the rag?

Offline Zaphod

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #175 on: May 15, 2012, 12:47:09 PM »
Oh, I usually brush my teeth once a month.

Offline Xandi

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #176 on: May 15, 2012, 02:37:15 PM »
I want 10 kids

Offline PigPin

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #177 on: May 15, 2012, 02:45:12 PM »
I may or may not be shooting blanks care to find out?

Offline Mordred

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #178 on: May 15, 2012, 02:47:09 PM »
Do you have any itch cream in that purse? Myyyyyy god.. it's killing me.. right here in the groin. Hell.. if not.. gotta brush in there? That would feel heavenly. Ohhh, you have nice sharp nails. Would you mind?

Offline DeMalachine

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #179 on: May 24, 2012, 08:23:29 PM »
And the really great thing about me is that my foreskin is so long, I can tie a knot in it and not have to worry about rubbers. Good, eh!

Offline TheLegionary

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #180 on: May 24, 2012, 09:04:48 PM »
Dont you think you should start a diet?

Offline mishi

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #181 on: May 24, 2012, 10:17:30 PM »
Sorry I have to go, I think I just sharted.... unless you are ok with it?

Offline TheLegionary

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #182 on: May 24, 2012, 10:44:03 PM »
Sorry for farting too much.

Offline mishi

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #183 on: May 24, 2012, 10:50:28 PM »
That's ok, I live by the sewage treatment plant so I am use to it.

Offline PigPin

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #184 on: May 25, 2012, 03:14:32 PM »
What has two thumbs and is getting laid tonight? *points thumbs to himself* THIS GUY

Offline wiccaangel311

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #185 on: May 25, 2012, 08:00:35 PM »
You look much better without the curtains framing you

Offline mishi

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #186 on: May 25, 2012, 11:47:34 PM »
You remind me of my mother.

Offline Bloodied Porcelain

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #187 on: May 26, 2012, 12:14:16 AM »
I just found out this morning that I'm pregnant! Isn't that great?!

Offline shooter6806

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Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #188 on: May 26, 2012, 12:25:49 AM »
I've got 3-month refills on my psych meds.

Offline Caitlin

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #189 on: May 26, 2012, 01:56:59 AM »
I'm only dating you because my mother forced me to.

Offline Kirce

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #190 on: May 26, 2012, 05:01:31 AM »
- "Do you use the Three-Date Rule? Because I rather skip it with you."

- "Uh huh?"

Offline Caitlin

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #191 on: May 26, 2012, 05:15:59 AM »
"Woa the girl (/boy) behind you looks way hotter than you do!"

Offline wiccaangel311

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #192 on: May 26, 2012, 12:13:29 PM »
You and i would make beautiful children

Offline Kirce

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #193 on: May 26, 2012, 12:14:29 PM »
- Are you in the pill?

Offline Adammair

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #194 on: May 26, 2012, 12:16:49 PM »
Wanna play 'house'? You can be the front door and I'll slam you.

Offline Kirce

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #195 on: May 26, 2012, 12:23:54 PM »
- So later tonight when you invite me to go inside your apartment...

Offline TheLegionary

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #196 on: May 26, 2012, 12:26:57 PM »
Would you mind brushing your teeth next time?

Offline Adammair

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #197 on: May 26, 2012, 12:30:15 PM »
- So later tonight when you invite me to go inside your apartment...

*was actually thinking of almost that exact same thing, before I posted my last post. ;D Great minds think alike, Kirce!*

Offline mishi

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #198 on: May 26, 2012, 12:32:12 PM »
You know what?! I actually shit glitter today!

Offline Kirce

Re: Things you don't want to hear on the first date
« Reply #199 on: May 26, 2012, 12:32:53 PM »
*was actually thinking of almost that exact same thing, before I posted my last post. ;D Great minds think alike, Kirce!*

Highfive!! :)

Another one: "So just how experienced you really are?"