Xom needs entertainment... Xom WILL be entertained!

[kongming]

With a title like that, how can you resist reading? *grin*

(Note: This is a freeform/systemless game. Just for those who read halfway and go "Oh, it's D&D I suppose. Meh")

Backstory (if you consider it tl;dr then I won't blame you for skipping it)
In the mythical land of Krato Aer, there was no war. The races did not amass armies, and even small fights between communities were rare. It was a land of peace, with friendships forming every day. Unfortunately, there was a terrible price to pay for this. People lived for so long, and birth rates continued to increase, with no deaths through war, and the toll they took on the world just to live soon became apparent: in order to live, they were killing the world.

Deciding that something had to be done, the people turned to the gods, pleading for an answer. Already they were trying to use their magics to find a way to turn their cities into self-sufficient havens of prosperity, though with slow progress. Of all the gods, only one answered.

It is said that gods are often wise beyond imagining, and patient, and able to see exactly what the best course of action is, always with a divine plan that works out to the very best.

If that is true, Xom is an exception. The surrounding world was indeed spared, as the cities became enormous labyrinthine prisons for all eternity. There would be no escape to the outside world, as leaving the gate to one city would merely transport the traveller to the entrance to another. Somehow, the cities always produced what was needed - all by the hand of Xom, it seemed - and, with only a degree of inconvenience as the price to pay, the assorted peoples were able to live without fear once again.

The problem:
Xom is a fickle, chaotic god at the best of times, and a random tornado of whim and destruction at the worst. Xom, having become bored, decided to make life more interesting - both for Xom and for the inhabitants. Now, the mazes change all the time, monsters have been set loose, traps and puzzles have been put in place - even for a person to leave their own house the might need six keys for the front door, each hidden in a different trap-surrounded location in their house, requiring the discovery of secret doors and the use of weights and postage stamps to activate the water-clock into showing 3:33 and releasing the final key...

People are finding life difficult. In some cases, thanks to the monsters, they are finding life extremely short. Things need to change, or people might one day die out.

The solution:
One day, the towers appeared. Showing the holy sign of Xom, a plaque is in front of each tower:

Wanted: Entertainers for Xom
Xom needs entertainment
Xom WILL be entertained!
Entertainers should be:

• Skilled
• Athletic
• Strong
• Not very good at dying
• Loyal
• Able to take a joke

Benefits include helping your people, magical rewards, excitement and adventure
Enquire within!

Few have yet had the courage to sign up, but there are tales told of those who have. Some good, some bad, some funny, some frightening. Will you join, and entertain Xom so as to save your people?

Characters:
If you are interested, you should create a character. This character will need a few things.
Name: Everyone has one. Pick any kind of name you like.
Sex: People often have a gender and physical sex.
Age: Once again, it is likely that your character has come into existence at a point in time, and continued to exist for a positive length of time.
Race: Species, whatever. I'm pretty flexible here - humans, orks, elves, hobbitses, goblins, giants, centaurs, pixies, sprites, dryads, naiads, small dragons, anthropomorphs (catgirls, were-creatures, bunny-girls, dog-people, naga, whatever)... ask and you'll probably receive.
Occupation: Pick some kind of career that likely suggests what you're good at, as an entertainer/adventurer. Whether that's a warrior, mage (or the billion sub-types "Fire Elementalist", "Poison Mage", "Necromancer" etc.), jester, musician, thief, acrobat, geisha... whatever.
Good and Bad: List a couple of special skills or abilities you have, and perhaps one weakness or personality flaw.
Lucky number: This is issued to everyone who signs up. Pick a number between 1 and 100, inclusive.

That's the essential part. A background is optional, as you could have just been an ordinary citizen who decided to sign up, and discovered you had a knack for something. Likewise, it'd be good if you gave a description or included a picture, but I won't force it.

Everyone will also be issued one helper of their choice from the following list:
Moral Support Dragon Hatchling: These stand at less than one foot tall, can flutter about, and exist to make sure you're feeling good about yourself, and loyal to the cause.
Memory Pixie: Again, less than a foot tall and they fly. These little critters keep track of anything you might need to remember.
Stock-taker: This is an impish creature, precisely one foot tall, who pays attention to every little detail and keeps a perfect record of your inventory as you go along.
Diviner: This is a little spirit that floats around and can see into the mystic forces that make up the universe. In short, they can tell you your status - quests completed, how fatigued you are and everything. If this game had a system, they'd tell you your stats.


So, any takers? Xom needs to be entertained.

[Jefepato]

I have to.  Not sure what I'll play yet, but I have to.

(Do people have any real reason to believe that Xom will honor his word and actually help people when he's entertained?)

[kongming]

No, and he might help them out from time to time even if people don't entertain him. He's less reliable than I am. However, he's more likely to help people out when he is entertained.

A note: People can worship any deity they like. It really doesn't matter - because Xom is the only one who may or may not respond to it. Praying to him can, on occasion, cause good things to happen. It could also cause bad things to happen, or he might not be listening at the time.

I got the idea for this from people telling me of their exploits in a Rogue-like game called Dungeon CRAWL. Xom is a chaos god in that. On one occasion he gifted someone with the best armour in the game, right at the beginning. Another time he took their sword away. Or surrounded them with hobgoblins. He also put a banana peel on the floor, once. Xom is... generally inconsistent.

This started up a series of tales of Xom, where people claim various things that happened to them personally. "Yeah, so I prayed to Xom, and he entered my house, kicked me in the groin and gave me a sword. Then he left."

[Creeper]

fdsghhahdfdsfsds

much as I shouldn't, I am compelled by Xom to give an interested thumbs up. All hail Xom!

[Creeper]

Name: Tiff

Sex: Hermaphrodite (originally female)

Age: 21

Race:Human

Occupation: Gambler

Good and Bad:

Bluffing: From pretending to be male or female, to convincing her opponent her hand is bad, to seeing if someone's trying to rip her off at the market, Tiff's pretty good at all things involving lying.

Running Away: Usually from people upset at the money she won. Now applicable to monsters

Lucky: Whether it's that ace she needs or a rusty dagger in a trash can, fortune tends to swing Tiff's way. Well, not all the time, as Tiff's new gender would attest.

Weakness: Certain kinds of mushrooms make Tiff sneeze uncontrollably. And she's greedy as hell.

Lucky number: 21!

Minion: Stock-taker! Somebody has to count all of Tiff's monies.

Abridged background: Tiff grew up in the slums of one of the many prison/cities, and has existed all of her life by lying, cheating and stealing. Well, mostly lying. She's largely relied on her skilled tongue and natural luck to pull her through all troubles. Her finances have spiked repeatedly from riches to sleeping in the gutter. Her greed is often her own undoing, as she frequently bets more than she can afford. At one point Tiff actually prayed to Xom for a good hand of cards. Instead, the god dropped her a few cup sizes and gave her a dick.

The now much more androgynous girl has (once again) lost her last penny, and has signed up for the towers in hopes of regaining her riches. And maybe her gender.

[Mistress Ice]

Name: Arck
Sex: Male
Age: 137
Race: Elf
Occupation: Bodyguard/Bard/Assassin/Mage/Teacher
Good and Bad: Arck is a soul gripped with wanderlust. He can't stand keeping one job or one hobby, and is constantly on the move. He is a jack of all trades, master of none. He is an excellent swordsman who can play a lute and sing fairly well. He learned a few nifty spells at a magic institution, though was rather bad at it. He's very quick and sharp with puzzles and learns things easily. Despite how distracted he can be, he keeps himself physically fit--mostly just to survive the horrid conditions he lives with. His long life attests to his survival skills.

The bad? Plenty of things. He has a horrible memory, insomnia which makes him tired, and just as much luck with women as with his jobs. He cannot settle. And, as stated, he is a master of nothing.
Lucky number: 88

Description: Arck stands at about exactly 6 feet tall. His hair a ruffled, short cut which partially covers his ears but mostly leaves them exposed. They are rather long and stretch up alongside his head to poke out of his pale red hair. Light freckles dance across his face, though they blend with his lightly tanned skin. His appearance is usually haggard or unkempt, as he hardly sleeps and is constantly distracted by something other than his looks. He doesn't make friends easily, and hasn't had a girlfriend for years (enough one night stands, however!). He is fairly attractive, though mostly in an exotic way. His "breed" of elf has mostly died out. Arck is uniquely tenacious, however.

At one point he hired himself out as a killer and found he was rather good at that. Then he went to school to become a magic-caster, and learned a little, but otherwise was awful at casting magic (for an elf). He has had many jobs in between, but right now he is a teacher at a school. That is when he saw the call for "entertainment." Arck has quite the daring sense of adventure.

[Celestial Goblin]

Blood and souls for Makhleb! :D