Perverted Wishes

[Lirliel]

Wish granted, though every wish of your own that you grant backfires in the most extreme of ways.

(Standing on a rooftop) I wish that I could fly!

[Zaer Darkwail]

Wish granted, but you cannot control your flight and you fly far away place which is not neverland and there is no other people around and you never come back earth rest of your lonely life.

I wish to get non-perverted wish.

[Celestial Goblin]

I wish to get non-perverted wish.

Okay, but it's someone elses wish.

...

I wish for a magical self-tying rubber straightjacket with shiny buckles and a studded collar. =>

[Lancis]

Wish granted, unfortunately the jacket and collar are sized for a small dog and not a human.


I wish I had superpowers.

[Zaer Darkwail]

Wish granted, but you can use each super power only once before you lose it.

I wish a perverted wish.

[Sethite]

Wish granted, but it wasn't pleasureable for you.

I wish I could read in other's minds.

[Archangel]

Wish granted, but you were offended by those thoughts...

I wish for a time machine...

[Zaer Darkwail]

Wish granted, but it worked only once and transported you 1 sec into future or back in time.

I wish others be happy.

[Stevej101]

Wish granted. You can now see in the dark and discover that all the things that you thought were in the dark and scared you as a child are real and with you now.

I wish I could become invisible when I wanted.

[Cherri Tart]

wish granted, but you develop such a strong body odor that people can tell where you are just by sniffing the air.

I wish I could turn into a cat whenever i wanted

[Archangel]

Wish granted, you're a pussy and constantly geting screwed...

I wish I had a red Star Wars pencil box...

[Sethite]

Wish granted, but you're losing it few minutes after...

I wish to be higher...

[Zaer Darkwail]

Wish granted, but your now so tall that your head hits the sun and gets burned badly (and if you dont die by head burn you choke in vaccuum).

I wish to be rich.

[Cherri Tart]

Everywhere you go, people greet you "Hi, Rich."  "How are you, Rich?"  "Nice to see you Rich" 

I wish I had an endless supply of chocolate

[indarkestknight]

You now have an endless supply of really bad, low quality, sugar-less chocolate that tastes more like chalk than candy.

I wish to die a tragic-heroic death.

[Celestial Goblin]

I wish to die a tragic-heroic death.

You hurl yourself at a tank with grenade in hand, not knowing that your love is inside and she hijacked the enemy's tank to save you. You die a death that's both heroic and tragic, but your love is horribly injured and spends the rest of her life cursing fate for what happened.

I wish for an ability to make handcuffs appear and cuff people at the snap of my fingers.

[Eyeomancer]

Wish granted, however, in order to activate this power, you must "snap" your fingers, breaking a metacarpal for each person you wish handcuffed.

I wish for a fresh-baked slice of strawberry rhubarb pie.

[Xerial]

Wish granted... however, you have just developed a rather pesky allergy to pie crust.

I wish I could launch nuclear warheads by whistling into a phone.

[Eyeomancer]

Wish granted... however, you have just developed a rather pesky allergy to pie crust.

I wish I could launch nuclear warheads by whistling into a phone.

Granted.  The phone you must whistle into is located in a London flat inhabited by a 97 year old kung-fu master with 11 poorly litter-trained house cats..

Free wish.

[Hunter]

Granted.  The phone you must whistle into is located in a London flat inhabited by a 97 year old kung-fu master with 11 poorly litter-trained house cats..

Free wish.

Granted.  You'll never know what to wish for.

I wish for the best sex in my life.

[Celestial Goblin]

Granted.  You'll never know what to wish for.

I wish for the best sex in my life.

You enter a chamber where a beautiful woman is lounging on silk sheets.
"Best sex of your life..."
She says.
"Was the one you already had. Now your life ends!"
And she starts shooting with a mounted machine gun.

I wish: Hi-tech boots allowing me to fly, safely and comfortably.

[shadowheart]

Granted

You can fly safely and comfortably

but are killed in a horrifying crash trying to land.

I wish I had all the money I could ever need for the rest of my life.

[Eyeomancer]

I wish I had all the money I could ever need for the rest of my life.

Granted.  An anonymous deposit is made in your name in a numbered Swiss bank account, making you one of the ten richest people in the world.

Unfortunately, you lose the slip of paper telling you the password needed to withdraw the money from the bank.

I wish for everything to be exactly the way it is.

[Lanzlo]

I wish for everything to be exactly the way it is.

Granted. However, with no frame of reference, you swim away happily, thinking that they really need to up the methane quality in this city. Then, without thinking, you light up a cigarette.

I wish for peace on earth.

[Brandon]

Granted but soon extraterrestrial invaders attack and enslave the human race. Because we were to involved with making peace we didnt continue to develop weaponry that could be used in defense of our world so their victory was flawless and we have no way to counterattack at a later time.

I wish I could eat whatever and however much I wanted and never gain wieght