This is Who I Am

[Ephemera]

When I finally decided to take the plunge and request blogging permission, the question presented to me was simple.  Why blog on Elliquiy?  My best answer is a bit of an introduction---actually a bit more of an introduction than the one that got me access to the Elliquiy family in the first place.

From a very young age, the ink-blood in my veins started whispering to me secrets in a language I did not yet understand.  Yet, my soul knew, all to well, the magic of words and phrases, black letters lined one after another, filling page after page after page.  I learned to read not long after I began to walk, books gripped tightly in my chubby fists, that familiar secret language echoing in my head, stirring my ink-blood, and waking a hunger in me that I have borne for half a lifetime since.

It was not long before I held a fat, blue “Laddie” pencil in my left hand and began to fill the lines of my “Big Chief Tablet” with letters, words and ideas; then rhymes and poetry.  My ink-blood coursed impatiently while I learned to scratch those forms on the page with grey No. 2 lead that would make the words and sentences and eventually pave the way to my first pen.  I began writing because my body and soul compelled me to; still do compel me nearly forty years later.  The voice of the ink in me still whispers, still tells me secrets.

I bear in my body the marks of this love affair with words, this obsession with stories.  Calluses on my fingers, from countless hours spent gripping that big blue pencil---and so many pencils and pens thereafter---my instrument branding me as writer, my muse labeling me as his own.  Likewise, I bear a permanent tattoo, a faded black smudge on the outside curve of the little finger on my left hand.  A sort of birthmark, it reveals years of smearing ink as I follow my pen across the pages.

Writing is to me a sensual, tactile, emotional experience.  I am alive, I was here, know me.  If I do not write, I will go mad.  This is my truth, it is who I have always been.  Coming to this community was a fluke for me, for I was not familiar with the concept of role-play as it exists in this place.  I feel as though I--perhaps like some others here--slipped into Elliquiy from the back road, with only my experience with words and stories to guide me.  I had no clue the difference between free form and system games, no idea the worlds that would open up to me beyond those doors marked “Welcome to Elliquiy -- Click Friend and Enter” But no matter the road, I quickly found myself among friends.

In the year since I found my playground here, I have learned a great deal about myself from those friends.   I have discovered a love of texture, an appetite for sensuality.  In the Elliquiy circle, I have unearthed a wealth of imagination and storytelling unlike any other I’ve ever known, and a depth of friendship from some that I did not believe possible online.  I hope to write much about the new me I am uncovering here.  It just makes sense that this process of discovery should be chronicled in words and phrases and my own ink-blood. 

For that is who I am.  Writer.  I hope you will read.

~Ephemera

[Enmuro]

Hi Ephemera, glad to see someone else who recently took the blog plunge :)

There is a question I have been dying to ask someone such as yourself. You see, I was a roleplayer before I even wrote my first short story. However, you started out as a writer who only later crossed into the realm of roleplay.

My question then is, as someone who started as a writer, what do you perceive to be the key differences between writing a story and playing a character? I myself am of the opinion that roleplaying and story writing have two entirely different goals. I won't bias you with more of my opinion on the matter but I'm very curious what you have to say:)

[Ephemera]

Enmuro,

Thank you, for your kind words.  I too am glad to see others blogging, and sharing their thoughts here.  It's an interesting study into the mind to read what others find interesting and noteworthy.

As for your question, I agree that there are vast differences between role play and writing fiction.  I hope you will forgive me, though, as I beg your indulgence.  I'd like to ponder the question a bit, and form a well thought out response.  It is the similarity between the two I suppose, that drew me to explore this community, but the more I participate, the more I see that my role play threads contain only parts of what a good story requires.

With that hint, I'll fling this question into the 'capacious hold-all' in my head and see what thoughts sort themselves and coalesce.  I hope to return with something worthy of discussion, very soon.  Meantime, thank you, an invitation to converse is the highest compliment for a writer.  I look forward to exchanging ideas.

~Ephemera 

[Kurzyk]

You rock Ephemera. It's so wonderful to read when someone finds themselves and recognizes what they love and need in their lives.

Roleplay vs short story. In looking at it from the perspective of co-authoring a short story vs the multiple players involved in a roleplay, there are similiarities.

Roleplay could be similiar to cowriting a Short Story in the sense that both authors develop characters, develop scenes and follow the plot as it unfolds. There are often extensive discussions in PM about clarification and plot direction. And it's a wonderful experience to have a roleplay finish and feeling a sense of completion similiar to a story.

Another similiarity between the two would be melding of writing styles that are essential to making a short story smooth and lends itself to successful roleplays as well.

However, roleplays are often times considered a game and have more of a 'each player moves' type of feel. Where instead of collaborating on a piece similiar to co-authoring a book, its more two players playing a game of thought; with each author adding a different or new element to the story.

Both are mediums of the mind and in that sense are similiar yet different in the details.

[Enmuro]

I look forward to your considered response Ephemera :)

I agree with you on the similarities between roleplay and story writing Kurzyk.

Until recently I also would have said that roleplay was sort of a story circle where each player had a turn before passing the conch on. Then I saw how collaborative fiction worked on Protagonize and sort of came to this realization that roleplay isn't lall that similar to collaborative fiction. The goal of writing is to create a good story, maybe explore a concept. The purpose of roleplay is to play something who isn't you in a group of other people.

Roleplay, outside of a gaming context, can be used to create a safe sandbox environment to play around with different aspects of yourself and allow you to gauge other peoples reactions to them. Roleplayers in any environment are explorers of character and how those aspects influence interactions. I suppose to support that claim I would need evidence that characters ever changed how their players acted outside the roleplay though.

[Beguile's Mistress]

I haven't been approved yet, but am itching to put pen to paper. 

I walk around constantly with something to read and something to write on.  The reading is easy.  Someone else has already done the work.  The writing is hard.  I have to work at it.  Laziness and procrastination are part of my problem.  I'll start a story and lose interest.  I'll start a blog and lose interest.  I'll occasionally complete a poem, but that's because I can see the end from where I start.  The poem is always composed in my head and only written down.

I started role playing on another board and have learned something about myself.  Actually I learned two things.  Challenges excite me and a deadline is something I pay attention to.  Role play comes with a deadline.  It's flexible but it's still a deadline and someone is on the other side of it counting on my contribution so they can do their job.  Roll play also gives me the added bonus of surprise.  I never know what the other person is going to come up with.  The second thing I learned is that I can complete something.  I can start my contribution to the role play and work through it to the end.  I get a tremendous kick out of hiting a post button.

This blog is going into my "holy heck, I've gotta remember this" file.  Thank you.

[Sugarman (hal)]

Sorry to jump in here, but this interests me. I feel the biggest difference is in the format. In role-play the back and forth posts create a rather jumping structure that doesn’t flow smoothly. Dialogue is broken up between characters by discretion or feelings. Also most role-players want longer posts from their role-play partners. This breaks up back and forth dialog and action.

What I find interesting is role-play offers a creative avenue to explore where you don’t know where you are going. The addition of another mind opens up a new unknown. Now if one had the skills to take a good  role-play and edit into a story format… role-play could be a wonderful tool for publishable stories. 

[shadowspale]

I read this and I had to respond so please forgive the intrusion. For as long as I can remember there have been stories swirling around in my head. I can't even begin to count the times I have sat telling stories to my friends or later tried to put what was in my head down on paper. None ever got finished because my skills with words could not do justice to the images in my mind.

In role play I found an outlet of sorts; a means to write my stories but with the help of others to guide it along. No, they never came out exactly as I saw them for I was just writing from one aspect; one point of view. Lately I have been trying my hand at putting my stories down on paper again and its a completely different feeling.

In writing I am in control of everything, every nuance of the story right down to the placement of a comma or period. There is nothing that can truly surprise me and there are no unforeseen occurrences taking place because it is all coming from me.

In role play you can try to guide the storyline where you want it to go but often it goes in the opposite direction. You can't predict anything past your own character. Things you say can be misunderstood, attempts at helping someone can lead to other troubles and if your character falls in love, there is no guarantee that love will be returned. Everywhere you turn there are surprises as you are no longer the only one in control.

I honestly can't say which I prefer, the surprises or the control.   

[Ephemera]

Shadowspale,

Your response expresses exactly what I feel about the differences between authoring fiction, and co-writing RP.  I love both, and though they are very similar, they are vastly different.  I have come to love that lack of control... with the right partner, it can be something akin to surrendering to an extremely adept and loving Dom.  Simply amazing.

At the very least, with a decent partner it can be great fun.  :)

Thanks for chiming in.

Ephe