1001 Things not to say to your Boss

Started by stormkitten, June 08, 2009, 06:02:46 PM

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MasterMischief

I am sorry, did you just say something or fart?

It is hard to tell the difference sometimes.

Korokage

I don't know anything about that drive by shooting that almost killed you, other than the fact that I am now very sad.

If I pushed you down twenty flights of stairs, you know it would have been a complete accident and not on purpose, right? Despite the fact that I want your job and all that suspicious jazz, obviously.

No, you're stupider than you look, and that is an achievement in it self.

Why don't you keep eating your doughnuts while I do your job for you again?

BigNRich

Here's those copies you wanted; ignore the one of my naked butt.

BigNRich

*walk into his office*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*calmly walk out*

Mithlomwen

Oh I'm sooooooo sorry....I forgot you were allergic to shellfish.....
Baby, it's all I know,
that your half of the flesh and blood that makes me whole...

BigNRich

How do you feel knowing that you're paying me [your salary here] dollars per hour to sit on my butt, text my friends, drink pop, eat junk food, surf the Internet, flirt with my co-workers, and play Minesweeper for forty hours a week?

Rozsudek


Majere Dreavan

You cant fire me, you got nothing but frickkin retards here.

Oh you know that frickkin bull shit!

Honestly, you dont know how to spell that? and you got the 100,000 salary job how?

HockeyGod

Mrs. Cambridge, when you sit like that, you remind me of Buddha.

Paladin

Do you own that red sportscar outside in the handicapped spot?... Yea Its not there anymore. (This was said by a friend of mine to his boss after he had the damn thing towed because the boss was taking up a spot that a disabled cowoker was needing. My friend was quitting the next day.

Mithlomwen

Baby, it's all I know,
that your half of the flesh and blood that makes me whole...

Darius

"Were you born this bitchy or have you been practicing?" said by me just before getting the boot at my second job.
When the avalanche has started, the pebbles no longer get to vote.
Ons and Offs
absence to make hearts grow fonder
Story ideas
Darius & His Ramblings
No one is an unjust villain in their own mind… we are all the hero of our own story.” A Lucio

Beguile's Mistress


Skye

I don't know what surveillance video you're talking about.
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Pellafin

Oh tell your Daughter Ill come by at...oh when are you leave for the business trip again?
Arkady Duvall: You! I don't believe it!
Jonah Hex: Guess I'm just a bad penny.
Arkady Duvall: Why are you doing this?
Jonah Hex: Because I don't like you.

Beguile's Mistress

"I'll do my job when you start doing yours."

Overheard at cashier's station in a crowded store.

Keaira

You can't write me up for not doing everyone else's job, you're fired! (Idk, I'm sick so once I'm better this probably won't make sense.)
Behind every angel stands a devil.                    Scattered Angel A/A updated 8/12/16
Oh's and No's

Pellafin

Don't stand that close to me...Your daughter has your eyes
Arkady Duvall: You! I don't believe it!
Jonah Hex: Guess I'm just a bad penny.
Arkady Duvall: Why are you doing this?
Jonah Hex: Because I don't like you.

MasterMischief

Did you take credit for my work again?  Mad?  No.  My last report was completely off target.  Good luck when everyone finds out.

Tangi

Well the reason I've been late all this week is cause I've been partying. You should be happy that I came in at all.

TheLegionary

You should not get angry so often otherwise you will suffer a heart-attack

Sinna Mystika

Is there a reason you have your secretary do everything for you?? Or do you really just not know how??

Darius

can you please explain to me how you can be that ignorant and still be relevant in this this place?
When the avalanche has started, the pebbles no longer get to vote.
Ons and Offs
absence to make hearts grow fonder
Story ideas
Darius & His Ramblings
No one is an unjust villain in their own mind… we are all the hero of our own story.” A Lucio

Kalyx

Oh? You're not pregnant? (male boss)  :D
Cold-blooded? Certainly not!

Aiden

Did you know your wife does not have a gag reflex?