Being shy even Online.

[Sherona]

Ok this post really goes out to the fellow people out there who do find it hard to chat and banter about with people one does not know.

Please do not take this as being judgemental, as lord knows I am the opposite of "chatty". Sometimes I think it would be loads easier to BE chatty, but then again I happen to think there is nothing wrong with people who do not enjoy frivolous convo with strange people.

However, this does mean that its harder for those of us socially disadvantaged to really become a part of a forum like Elliquiy. Either we are mistaken for stuck up snobs, or prudes, or simply over looked because lets face it, you don't notice that twig on the ground unless you trip over it :P

So for those of you who find it difficult to just "Jump in there" here is a word of advice about Elliquiy. Its a great community, one who even though my quirks and just plain out wierdness make many think of me as just a weirdo, has never judged or mocked my thoughts. No, they do not always agree, but for the most part people around here do know how to properly debate most issues and its an enjoyable debate :)

We as introverts have to meet people half way. We can't expect people to go poking under every rock with sticks to lure us out :P We have to be willing to make an effort to meet them half way. I include myself in this, and while I do not say or think its a BAD thing to be a bit more reserved, I do believe I am cheating myself out of friendships by being so reserved.

hmm hope this came out the way it was intended....*resists the urge to crawl back under a rock*

[Cherri Tart]

*giggles* i'm tempted to 'mock' Sherona just for the comic effect... that said, yes.  She has a good point.  Those of us who are more vivacious on line tend to get more offers of RP - just because we're more visibly friendly.   It does take a lot more work to someone who feels a little out of place or awkward, to make friends, play in games, etc.  that said, just because someone is seemingly popular, been her longer, is more visible, doesn't mean that won't welcome meeing you half way - With so many members, we can't go out and introduce ourselves to each and everyone, but i guarentee you, if you send us a PM or just take a moment to say hi or add your opinion, witty saying, what have you in an off topic forum, you will get good results...

by the way, i have to add this, just because i found it an eye opener - once again, i have been told that someone thought i was intimidating for the longest time... i'm just... speechless.  Really, don't let those perceptions fool you - E is as much a community as an RP place and sometimes you just have to go knocking on neighbor's doors and introduce yourself. :)

xoxo
cherri

[Elvi]

*Sends a flock of Blackbirds out to mock Sherona and steals Cherri's pogo stick*

I'm another kind of person here on Elliquiy.
I don't dash around flirting with everyone, (which isn't to say that I don't have my moments), but I am highly visible.
I participate in most of the forums and I have strong (often too strong) opinions, which I have no problems in expressing.

As with Sherona, for being quiet and appearing to be snobbish and Cherri appearing to be....well...such a tart, I to have assumptions made about me.
People believe that I 'hate' them when I disagree with them, that is not true, I simply disagree with them, some also believe that I am vindictive and actively 'stalk' them around the boards, that again isn't true.
Infact, those who believe that, often become on-line friends and the ones who come to me the most for help.

So you see, here are three different people, giving you three different opinions of themselves and how they believe others see them.

I think what we are saying is, like any other community, either in real life or on the 'net, we are all different, people and different types of people.
So don't be afraid to join in don't be afraid to speak up, because in the end all three of us will go well out of our way to help you if you need it.....

[NightBird]

*applauds*

Absolutely right on the money, all three of you!

E is a community more than just a place for people to hook up for one roleplay or another. There are scads of nitches and interests. Sometimes you can find RP partners by talking about a hobby! The thing is, though, just like everybody's said here, it really is necessary to get out and get to know people here. Effort will be rewarded, and chances are you'll make friends, not just find RP partners.

It's more like moving into a new neighborhood, starting a new job or entering a new school than it is matching interest A to available roleplayer B. The rewards from it being a community, though, are well worth the effort of getting started.

[Moondazed]

And then there's me... opinionated and blunt, which means that I'm perceived as an outright bitch *giggle*  Yes, a bitch who giggles... strange isn't it?   Honestly, I'm not a bitch.  I enjoy debates, I wish that someone who voted for Bush could explain why in a way that I can understand ;)  Seriously, though, I'm not purposely bitchy or judgmental or snarky, and if I am I sincerely hope that whoever read my words that way will PM me.  I love this site, I love this community, and I love the fact that people of all different walks of life can share a place where we can write things that aren't exactly socially accepted ;)

I hope those of you who are shy will find your place here.  I'm not one who's here all the time, I go days without being on E because of real life, but I'm happy to talk to anyone who'd like to talk to me.  My contact info is in my profile :)

[Kalen]

Being shy, even online.

Believe it or not, until I'm comfortable in a situation, I'm shy and reserved myself.  I have been told I come across as confident, but that's the fun part of the internet, and interacting through words alone.  What I write and what you read can come across as totally different things. 

My advice to anyone, especially anyone new, who is suffering from shyness is to find a simple place to get involved, like the Word Association games.  It's interaction without having to do more than write 1 word... and it's a foot in the door.  Over time, you will hopefully get a bit more confident.  Yes, that Shoutbox and the Steambox can look intimidating.  So maybe send someone a PM instead? 

Take it one step at a time.  Most of us don't bite.  Well... unless it's a turnon for you.  Then some DO bite.

[Elvi]

And then there's me... opinionated and blunt, which means that I'm perceived as an outright bitch

Sod off you!
That's my job, someone has just told me so in a message....*laughs*


And as both Moon and Kalen have said, if you want to make contact, why don't you send one of us, (those who have posted on this thread), a message and say hello.
You may not get a roleplay game out of it, but you will at least get a new reply message in your virgin mail box....
(OOOOOO....that sounds so dirty!....*grins*)

[Starr69]

It's hard being a shy person - in RL I stick to the sidelines, and I almost never go anywhere that there's gonna be a bunch of strangers. Too many strangers make me nervous, and if there's no one I know, I definitely won't go.

Online's different. Online I get to be more who I am around my friends - more outgoing, outspoken and fun. Because people judge me for my content - my words, my ideas..  not what I look like, what I sound like, what color, creed, shape, etc.

This place - although admittedly I've only been here for about 13 hours - seems special. I've already felt more welcome here than almost anyplace I've been lately.

I'm definitely gonna find me a plot of land and settle down.

[NightBird]

*smiles warmly at Starr*

Good for you! We are a different sort of community here, and I think you're showing just the right attitude to make E your home. Sink some roots, get to know people, and that's exactly what it will be: home.

[Starr69]

Thanks. :) Yeah I've already been promised walkies, as well as food and water, so.. ;-)

[Elvi]

Yeah just be careful you don't pee on the geraniums....*laughs*

[Starr69]

I'm more worried about peeing on some poison ivy! Yowch!

[Elvi]

Nooooo...we have plenty of nasty stinging nettles, but only none poisonous ivy and the blackbirds are nesting in that....

[strangely made]

I'd just like to point out that I am not shy , I just happen to live in my head and there's only room for one in there :P

Seriously though, sometimes what people perceive as being shy is actually a quite person who likes to keep them selves private. I talk to a few people on the internet, and even fewer in R/L  not because I'm shy but because I'm an anti social bugger.

But, that is what makes E such a good place and the real world of course. Diversity is everything, with out different people life would be boring.


If that made any sense I'll drown myself in a cup of tea >

[Sherona]

an anti social bugger

You are not fooling me with taht Bugger added in, you stole my line!!! :P hehehe :D

[strangely made]

Did not :P I bought it fair and square off Ebay only last week so there :P

[NightBird]

If that made any sense I'll drown myself in a cup of tea >

I have to admit that it did to me, but then I'm on cold meds (again) and so can't quite be said to be in my right mind. Perhaps my left? In any case, I agree with you about diversity and how it makes E such a good place to be.

[strangely made]

I'm always in my right mind, my left one refuses to play anymore .

[Greenthorn]

Bump~because it gives great advice!

[Caeli]

I really agree with everything you said, Sherona - I understand that crippling shyness, the fear of not being accepted even though this is 'just' a forum community... Mentors and sirens can help you and tell you where to go to talk, can give you tips and advice for how to get to know more people. We can tell you to go to the Steambox, go to the shoutbox, PM a few people.

But the in the end, and bottom line: Introverts and shyer types have to make the first move. We can't do it for you. <3 It might be hard to make that first step, but if you keep making the effort and putting yourself out there, it'll pay off.

[Sherona]

Why am I suddenly paranoid that I have been discussed....>.> <.< :P hheheeh *hugs Caeli* Thanks hun.

[Greenthorn]

Why am I suddenly paranoid that I have been discussed....>.> <.< :P hheheeh *hugs Caeli* Thanks hun.

Muhahahaha..cause you -have-!!

*giggles* There's a few newcomers who are shy..so I bumped the thread *winks*

[Sherona]

Muhahahaha..cause you -have-!!

*giggles* There's a few newcomers who are shy..so I bumped the thread *winks*

*plots  lots of tickle torture to figure out what was discusssed*

Feel free to point any shy ones to me...we can get to gether on Im and look at a blank IM page together *nodnods* :)

[GrinningHound]

*giggles* There's a few newcomers who are shy..so I bumped the thread *winks*

I'm not all that new......

[Greenthorn]

I'm not all that new......

*smiles* Actually I didn't bump it for you *winks*