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Cat Diary (cute)

Started by King_Furby, May 28, 2008, 10:31:30 PM

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King_Furby

CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt
to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,
since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely
made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Idiots!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
seems to be more than willing to return.
He is obviously retarded.

Sabby

Explains a lot...

Epic find :)

King_Furby

It's sort of true in a way. I got it in one of those random e-mails.

But it's funny how cats tend to look at us humans as dulls. My cat always looks at me like i am stupid. It's cute of course. My cat wants to snuggle when i don't, and when i want to snuggle she wants nothing to do with me. I swear the purring is some sort of sonic weapon they just haven't learned how to use correctly yet.

Caeli

Ohh, I remember this chain letter, vaguely. xD There's a related "Excerpts from a Dog's Diary", too:

Excerpts from a Dog's diary:
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 PM - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
ʙᴜᴛᴛᴇʀғʟɪᴇs ᴀʀᴇ ɢᴏᴅ's ᴘʀᴏᴏғ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴄᴀɴ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ sᴇᴄᴏɴᴅ ᴄʜᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴀᴛ ʟɪғᴇ
ᴠᴇʀʏ sᴇʟᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇʟʏ ᴀᴠᴀɪʟᴀʙʟᴇ ғᴏʀ ɴᴇᴡ ʀᴏʟᴇᴘʟᴀʏs

ᴄʜᴇᴄᴋ ❋ ғᴏʀ ɪᴅᴇᴀs; 'ø' ғᴏʀ ᴏɴs&ᴏғғs, ᴏʀ ᴘᴍ ᴍᴇ.
{ø 𝕨 
  𝕒 }
»  ᴇʟʟɪᴡʀɪᴍᴏ
»  ᴄʜᴏᴏsᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴀᴅᴠᴇɴᴛᴜʀᴇ: ᴛʜᴇ ғɪғᴛʜ sᴄʜᴏʟᴀʀʟʏ ᴀʀᴛ
»  ひらひらと舞い散る桜に 手を伸ばすよ
»  ᴘʟᴏᴛ ʙᴜɴɴɪᴇs × sᴛᴏʀʏ sᴇᴇᴅs × ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ɪɴsᴘɪʀᴀᴛɪᴏɴs

The Great Triangle

Ah, dogs.  So serene.  So much of a horrible failure of natural selection.
Meow!  I'm a kitty; made of fire.

Ons and Offs

Trieste

Bwahaha. Yes, I remember this one. I think it should be labelled 'diary of a kitten' though, because this is kitten behaviour... all my cats mellow out considerably as they get older, and seem to grow disdainfully accustomed to their confinement at the hands of their human slaves. :P

ShrowdedPoet

This is funny, is there more? 

My cat enjoyed it's time with me. . .it was an inside outside cat.  His name was Spirit and I loved him very much.  Someone murdered him.  I have a hole where he was. . .I miss him. . .
Kiss the hand that beats you.
Sexuality isn't a curse, it's a gift to embrace and explore!
Ons and Offs


Sabby

...murdered? Did you kick the fucks head in? *anger, blah!*

ShrowdedPoet

Quote from: Sabbat on May 29, 2008, 11:40:01 PM
...murdered? Did you kick the fucks head in? *anger, blah!*

I was outside and a car was going down the road, swerved into the other lane and sped up just to hit him.  No I didn't but I would have loved to.
Kiss the hand that beats you.
Sexuality isn't a curse, it's a gift to embrace and explore!
Ons and Offs


Sabby

If there is any way to find out who this dispicable cuntscab is, I'd love to see you follow up and have the book thrown at him. Its disgusting how weak the law is when it comes to animal cruelty, at least here.

...I get heated on this topic >.>

ShrowdedPoet

I agree.  I still cry sometimes about my wonderful kitty.  I'm gonna get a tat in memory of him. . .after all he was my Spirit.
Kiss the hand that beats you.
Sexuality isn't a curse, it's a gift to embrace and explore!
Ons and Offs


Sabby


ShrowdedPoet

Kiss the hand that beats you.
Sexuality isn't a curse, it's a gift to embrace and explore!
Ons and Offs


Sabby

Oops! Sowwy ^^ you have a guy in your pic.

The Great Triangle

I'm pretty sure that's a female Sabbers.  Have you been attending your home econimics classes?
Meow!  I'm a kitty; made of fire.

Ons and Offs

ShrowdedPoet

Quote from: Sabbat on May 30, 2008, 11:27:38 AM
Oops! Sowwy ^^ you have a guy in your pic.

Nope, that's a girl, it's me. . .
Kiss the hand that beats you.
Sexuality isn't a curse, it's a gift to embrace and explore!
Ons and Offs


Sabby

*sucks air in through teeth* ouch... embarrassing...

ShrowdedPoet

Quote from: Sabbat on May 30, 2008, 11:32:54 AM
*sucks air in through teeth* ouch... embarrassing...

It's ok, I've been told by one other player that it looks like a guy.  There are no immediate things visable making me look like a women in that picture so I can understand the misunderstanding.
Kiss the hand that beats you.
Sexuality isn't a curse, it's a gift to embrace and explore!
Ons and Offs


Sabby


ShrowdedPoet

Kiss the hand that beats you.
Sexuality isn't a curse, it's a gift to embrace and explore!
Ons and Offs


ShrowdedPoet

What exactly am I looking for. . .
Kiss the hand that beats you.
Sexuality isn't a curse, it's a gift to embrace and explore!
Ons and Offs


Sabby

An Australian comedy actor. Hes who I thought it was a pic of. He did "Summer Highs High"

MadPanda

"Day 987

Today I was selected for the water torture and doused with a burning, foamy liquid apparently called 'shampoo'.  I managed to wound one of my captors: the taste of bloody thumb-flesh between my teeth is scant solace, but I take what I can get."

Voluptas ailuri fulgentis decretum est!
Omnis nimis, temperantia ob coenobitae.
(Jes, tiuj frazoj estas malĝustaj. Pandoj fakte ne komprenas la latinan!)

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