What's Your Excuse?

[TiaMaria]

"Hi Boss! Fancy seeing you back so early! Me going through these papers on your desk? I forgot to sign the release form and the declaration and the... You did that for me? Yesterday? These are payment records and confidential documents? I had no idea".

You're in the middle of a nightclub and someone has spilled a drink on you. Unfortunately, the drink landed in your crotch, and now it looks like you've wet yourself.

[Sirius]

"I was told Free Willy would be here and I wanted to show my support"

You're running the the olympic torch and you're breath blows it out. (Yes I know it's highly...very highly unlikely to happen)

[DiverseDesires]

"The extinguishing of the torch is new custon, symbolising the need for peace and the quenching of the flames of war"  Lowers torch like a flag on memorial day, "Please stand for two minutes in silence to remember the current conflicts and the people in them" 

After two minutes, "Now, someone from the crowd must come and re-light the torch to show it is only if ordinary people unite that peace will be born."

New situation: 

You borrow your neighbour's lawnmower while he is out, the throttle gets stuck, ploughing you across his and two other gardens and wrecks fences, plants and furniture.  The neighbour arrives back just in time to see it crash into a wall and burst into flames, with you running along behind it.

[TiaMaria]

Proclaim loudly that there will be priests here any minute with holy water to remove the demon possessing the machine that went berserk and attacked you.

You've been caught in public commiting the great fashion crime of no shirt, and you're wearing shorts, socks and sandals.

[Star Safyre]

Clicking on my fanny pack, I hope I can fulfill my new lover's tourist fetish.

You realize that the copy of the wedding ceremony video you sent to all your relatives is actually of the wedding night.

[BDLuvver]

See I told you she was a real blond, and now you can see it for yourself!  ;D

You spend the night out at stripper joints and in the morning your spouse find a makeup stain on your jeans that runs from your crotch to your knee...  :o

[TiaMaria]

I simply inform him that I'm beloved and that's someone's way of showing it.

You're buying porn at a newsagent, and the girl you had a crush on when you were a kid sees you...

[MasterMischief]

“Oh hai!  How you doin'?  Long time no see.  What?  This?  Oh, research.  I'm an investigative journalist and we are doing an expose on pornography and its affect on society.”

You have your finger stuck up your nose and you can not get it out.  So now you are sitting in the emergency room, the center of some strange looks.

[TiaMaria]

"Word of advice. Stage magicians are cunts".

You're reversing a car, and you manage to reverse straight into a lamp post. During the day.

[Star Safyre]

"I'm doing my civic duty to ensure public workers are in high demand.  Economic stimulus and stuff..."

While grandma is over babysitting, your little pumpkin shows her where you keep the funny books full of naked people.

[lenka]

Yeah, there my brothers, he's studying suma Tantric bilka (dribbles bullshit to her senile Grandma) so she easily forgets.

The moon is full, blinds are up and you get caught masturbating by your next door neighbour who lives in the two story building?

[Azrael Annavianna]

"I thought I would try and figure out people's fascination with howling at the moon, so I had to work up a good howl."


You just got out of the shower and your last clean pair of shorts is in the dog's mouth.  You chase him inadvertently out of the house and when you catch up to him your boss is walking up the driveway.

[MasterMischief]

"Cut!  Cut!  Who let Mr. Johnson into the scene.  Reset everyone.  What?  Me?  We are shooting an underwear commercial...which you just walked into and ruined the take thank you very much."

Your significant other or, if you do not have one, your mother catches you drinking milk from the carton.

[finewine]

I wanted to see  how they got the white mustache on the 'got milk' ad.

You are caught looking at a flirtatious email of your boss to a coworker while his wife is out of town.

[adroitgrayman]

"Sorry... I didn't knew how it flashed on my screen. I was just about to close it."

You are caught by your ex in a restaurant with your other half and you haven't told him/her that you are married now.

[finewine]

Hi Ex, I'm married now. How was your trip to Paris?

The boss takes you by the arm to introduce you to the new multimillion dollar client who happens to be wearing the same designer outfit that you are.

[adroitgrayman]

Oh.... I am so sorry... This was given as a gift by my bf.

You were caught by your parents at night ... watching some weird show in TV