Communication: What does it mean to YOU?

[Kimbersqk]

Communication: An act or instance of transmitting; information transmitted or conveyed; a verbal or written message; a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior <the function of pheromones in insect communication; also: exchange of information - Merriam-Webster.com

Thinking about "communication" what does it mean to you? Stated above is the official definition according to Merriam-Webster. Everybody communicates in different ways to many people daily to function in the world we live in today. Right? I know I do. We communicate to people who we work with(for those of us who do work), family members, friends, lovers, and maybe just a "hello" to the person who greets you at Wal-Mart or an equivalent.

When talking with a person close to you, whether it be a lover or a family member do you really communicate with them? Or do you just talk to them? There is a difference. Somebody can talk all day to somebody else but yet the receiver doesn't get it, doesn't process it or just straight up doesn't care. There could be words coming out but not really mean anything, just wasted air and energy making the words come out of the speaker's mouth. Then there is the flip side to things.. Communicating. Things are said, listened to, understood then responded back appropriately. Yes, it takes two or more to communicate. How do you take the words that are said by you and told to you?

There are times I talk senselessly by either being silly, or just by saying something to make somebody happy to show that I am at least interested in what is being said.

Within my career I convey communication every day . The person gives the message in one language to me and I convey it in another for the other to understand what each other is saying. For me, as the conveyor, the message is said in the primary language, processed to change into the target language, then produced into the target language. Then the person responds within the target language, processed and then produced in the primary language. I deal with language every day. I deal with conveying every day. Do I really communicate within my career every day? No. I just take the language, process it, then put it out the way it needs to be for the person to understand. There are times I don't even understand what I am conveying but as long as the receiver understands is all that is important and I have done my job well that day. Many times, what is being conveyed does not stick in my head. Sure, I learn some interesting information or something that can be applicable to my own life that I did not know before, however for the most part things go in conveyed and then get deleted from my brain. The information does NOT stick in the middle (aka my brain).   

Communication. Within knowing my career, how do I really communicate? How does a person really take the time to communicate with the people they love if language is transmitted the way it is and then deleted at the end of the day? Within my career, words are chosen for me. Within my own life, I must choose my own words. To choose my own words, I must think hard of what I want to say, how to say it and then speak the words that are chosen. This, I have found, is not an easy task. I am so used to having words given to me, the message already told so I don't have to think about it. Conveying is automatic. Truly speaking, truly communicating is not automatic, it is something that must be carefully thought out to not say something wrong choosing poor words or choosing words that may have a completely different connotation or intonation than was meant to be. If the speaker has a different connotation than what the receiver has taken in, there can be miscommunication all over the place. "I'm sorry." What does that mean? Does it really imply you are sorry? Or are you just saying it to say it? How did you say it? Did you think the intonation was mean with and added eye roll or sincere? "I love you." What does that mean to you? Does it mean the same to the person you are telling it to? Do you say it to get out of trouble? Are you saying it from the bottom of your heart to the ones you love? 
 
Speaking words is important but to be able to communicate with somebody, both people must talk and listen. It is a two way street, not just one way. For people to support and understand each other, both must communicate. If it is just one person shares all their thoughts and feelings, they don't know how the other feels or what they think about what was said. Then the person who did not tell anything leaves the other in the dark of what is going on or how they are feeling. That is just a bad plan all the way around for all people involved. If two people have good communication, their relationship lasts because they both know and understand. If there are secrets, things are kept hidden then  people get hurt. Sometimes not even understanding why or what they have done.

Then comes listening. Listening is a huge part of communication. The words that are chosen to be said are very important. Listening is also just as, if not more, important than the words said by you. Listening to your lover or family member is necessary to be able to have a productive conversation. If both people are just saying words and the recipients are not listening to one another, the conversation goes nowhere and a waste of time. Do you listen to everything that is said? Even when a conversation is heated or you don't want to hear what the other person is saying? Or, do you just clearly not hear the person because they are talking to soft or mumbling to themselves? Listening is also putting yourself in the other person's shoes. What are they really trying to say, what are the verbal or physical cues given?

I know I struggle with all the above. When talking, I don't always choose the correct words to say. When listening, it just goes in and then goes right back out. That is a struggle of mine that I must work very hard at for me to have a relationship with somebody. There have been several instances where I will chose the wrong words to say to a comment or to something that has happened. Many times, especially if it is heated, I do not listen or pay attention to what my lover has to tell me. I know his words are important, but I still don't listen. The worst part about communication, for me, is I struggle with remembering what is said by him or myself because of my profession. Remember, it goes in one ear, conveyed and out the door. Remembering what is said by him and myself are both equally important to help myself learn and grow physically, mentally, emotionally and understand.
As technology is enhanced, there are many different ways to communicate. Who writes emails? Can the reader know what kind of intonation the sender wants? Does the worker know a boss is suggesting something or demanding it at this very moment? Who texts? I know I do! Again, how can the reader know what kind of intonation that is implied by the sender? How can they know if I'm really pissed off or really happy? Without choosing words correctly, intonation can be completely misunderstood as well. Then you have the meaning that will be thrown off. Then, in your lap, is a big mess that must be cleaned up. To clean this kind of mess up is to take more time to communicate, explain what you are thinking and then really listen to what the other has to say so both can be understood.   

To have a relationship, to have friends, communication is important. How do you communicate?