An Old Farmer's Advice

[Lilias]

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong.
* Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance.
* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
* Words that soak into your ears are whispered... not yelled.
* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.
* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.
* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
* You cannot unsay a cruel word.
* Every path has a few puddles.
* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
* The best sermons are lived, not preached.
* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.
* Don't judge folks by their relatives.
* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.
* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.
* Always drink upstream from the herd.
* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.
* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God!

[Caeli]

• Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
  
• Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God!

I liked these two a lot. :)

Reading this list gave me a good chuckle or two. x3

[Greenthorn]

Lilias! Can you repost all of that here: Good Advice 

It would be a great addition to the thread ;D

[Mathim]

Wow, I like how some of these are funny AND philosophical. That's hard to do these days, only South Park really manages to do that lately. I really liked this one:

"Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads." So true.