Senior Cabbage

Started by N2O, April 09, 2011, 11:56:20 PM

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N2O

Page 1

It was a warm summer's day
During the merry month of May
An elderly vegetable
Sits comfortable
In his little cottage
His name is Senior Cabbage


One day Senior Cabbage had lost his head of lettuce. "Dear Cabbage," he said calling his wife, "have you seen my head of lettuce?"

"No I haven't Senior Cabbage," she said, "I haven't seen your head of lettuce"

Very sad, Senior Cabbage goes to ask his faithful dog, "Oh Dog Cabbage have you seen my head of lettuce?"

"'erb herb," Senior Cabbage's dog had not seen his head of lettuce either.

Not one to give up, Senior Cabbage grabs his walking stick, flings on his coat, and secures his hat. He bravely marches out to begin his epic search for his missing head of lettuce.

N2O

Page 2

Along the dusty winding road
Onward Senior Cabbage strode
Then beside some lilacs
He stopped dead in his tracks 
Frozen in a state of fright
In front of him was quite a horrid sight


"Hello Zebra Caterpillar!" Although frightened Senior Cabbage calmly greeted the light yellow larva. It had a board black stripe on its back and white-black stripes going across its body in all directions. "You're not going to eat me are you?" 

"Mmm" smiled the hungry Zebra Caterpillar. "I'm not going to eat you." Lied the terrible creature, "I'll grant you one wish, but you must come closer and whisper it in my ear"

As tempting as Zebra Caterpillar's offer was the wise old Senior Cabbage knew better than to trust the pest. Besides Zebra Caterpillar had no ears! Taking one and then another cautious step forward but no further, Senior Cabbage looked Zebra Caterpillar straight in the eye and bravely asked "I wish for you'd help me find my head of lettuce."

N2O

Page 3

All across the countryside
Walking side by side
Traveling the world wide
Searching high and low 
The Senior Cabbage and Zebra Caterpillar duo 
Now found themselves at a bistro


It was called My Little Shoe. The bistro was a very small and cozy little cafe-like-restaurant that served all the best roasted coffees, all kinds of exotic teas, the most delicious hot soups, the sweetest crepes, sandwiches most fresh, and plenty of fine wines. It was owned and run by Monsieur Chou, a magnificent restauranter and one of Senior Cabbage's good friends.

"Bonjour Senior Cabbage!" said the happy little Chou as he gave his friend a hug and air kissed twice. 

"Mon Petite Chou!" replied Senior Cabbage as he returned the hug and kissed the air also, "Have you seen my head of lettuce?"

"Helas non my dear friend" said Monsieur Chou sadly. "Why don't you head east and ask our dear friend Sauerkraut, I'm sure she'll be able to help!" And with that Senior Cabbage hugged and air kissed his friend goodbye and left the bistro.

Just as Monsieur Chou was hugging and air kissing Zebra Caterpillar goodbye the horrible pest opened its mouth wide and gobbled up Senior Cabbage's friend before leaving the bistro.

"We're off to see my friend Sauerkraut!" Senior Cabbage said excitedly to Zebra Caterpillar who smiled wickedly and said "Indeed"





N2O

Page 4

All across the countryside
Walking side by side
Traveling the world wide
Searching high and low 
The Senior Cabbage and Zebra Caterpillar duo 
Now found themselves at a disco


At the disco there was a brilliant light show and music so loud the place, from the floors to the walls and even the entire ceiling, danced to and pounded with the beat. At the center of it all was Sauerkraut busy behind her turntable scratching her vinyl records back and forth at the same speed as the music.

Senior Cabbage danced his way past everyone and shouted over to Sauerkraut, "HELLO GOOD FRIEND!"

Sauerkraut moved one huge headphone off her ear and waved over at Senior Cabbage.

"HAVE YOU SEEN MY HEAD OF LETTUCE?" Senior Cabbage asked his funky friend.

Sauerkraut gave him a thumbs down and shook her head no.

As Senior Cabbage made his way out of the disco, Zebra Caterpillar had also danced over towards Sauerkraut and slithered it's way unnoticed behind her turntable. Sauerkraut gave Zebra Caterpillar the peace sign and shook her head no. The last sound before the music ended was a very loud an abrupt record scratch as Zebra Caterpillar gobbled up another one of Senior Cabbage's friends.