Corrupt a wish

[Amarissa]

Granted! But it's a virtual hug from an ex (Friend/lover)

I wish for clean drinkable water for everyone to drink

[WordSmith]

Granted. But the one giving you a hug is a cactus!

I wish I could live in Fiji!

[Rabbit]

Granted you are in Fiji, not on Fiji. On the plus side, you have a spoon with you and hopefully can dig yourself out of Fiji at some point.

I wish key lime pie was calorie free, but just as tasty.

[clonkertink]

Granted. Unfortunately the chemistry to engineer such a pie makes each slice a luxury item affordable only to the ultrarich.

[WordSmith]

I wish that tink would make a wish

[clonkertink]

Granted! I wish the next poster could solve my wish amnesia!

[Amarissa]

Granted! now it's a choice  ;)

I wish I could fluently communicate with anyone on earth

[Queen of Hell]

Granted! But that anyone includes every living organism, and you're overwhelmed by the input!

I wish I could participate in a Medieval tourney for real.

[SMR Rein]

Granted. You died horribly in a jousting failure.

I wish I wasn't hungry right now.

[clonkertink]

Granted. You really wish you hadn't those oysters.

I wish I had a fast car.

[Akkas]

Granted, but the laws are getting stricter. If you ever drive faster than the speed limit, they take the car away from you forever.

I wish there was no dirt under my fingernails.

[Queen of Hell]

Pfft, that's easy - you no longer have any fingernails to begin with :P

I wish I had a nice grenade launcher for those rap-listening cars driving around at 3 am!!

[SMR Rein]

Granted. You never have grenades, though.

I wish I could fly.

[clonkertink]

Granted. You do this by flapping your arms. It is exhausting and looks ridiculous.

I wish my car had a top of the line stereo system.

[Phantomhive]

Granted but you can't hear it cuz you are deaf.

I wish for a life on another planet.

[WordSmith]

Granted. Welcome to living on said planet for about 3.5 seconds as you can't breathe Carbon Dioxide.

I wish I could find Atlantis.

[Queen of Hell]

Granted, you have found it, but everybody else can't see it, and thinks you're just a whacko.

I wish I could have a chat with some pagan god for real...

[clonkertink]

Granted. Hope you enjoy Loki trolling you all day.

I wish for the next poster to have a wonderful day.

[WordSmith]

Granted, but now you have the worst day of your life.

I wish I could meet Kid Rock.

[Phantomhive]

Whos Kid Rock? But you do meet The Rock.

I wish for my ultimate Anime fantasy to happen.

[Adiasporical]

Granted. But it only happened on one obscure Japanese TV-channel that experienced problems the day your wish was becoming true, so there aren't many evidences left, and those what happen to exist also documented errors in transmission.

I really want a glass of water. Someone?

[Phantomhive]

How do you corrupt a glass of water? oh I know.
Granted but it tastes bitter.

I wish I never could get drunk.

[Adiasporical]

Granted, but hangover and health risks aren't going away, mate.

Great, my water was bitter. What next, you are going to spoil me my morning cookie? ...Where is it, by the way?

[Phantomhive]

Your cookie is burnt to a crisp, enjoy it with your bitter water.

I want a demon butler who is at my beck and call... oh wait, with no contract.

Lets see how this one gets corrupted lol

[Queen of Hell]

Granted. You now have that butler, but every order you give to him, makes you a bit demonic yourself. One day you are turned into a similar demon, who is now bound for eternal servitude to your former butler, who is now your former self copy and is free to rain destruction upon this world.

I wish my phone would stop overheating outta blue