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1001 Things not to say to your Boss

Started by stormkitten, June 08, 2009, 06:02:46 PM

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villagelunatic

Enron just called with some excellent stock handling tips.  I've already implemented them.
I speak one language. One Zero One Zero Zero. With that I could steal your money, your secrets, your sexual fantasies, your whole life. In any country, any time, any place I want. We multitask like you breathe. I couldn't think as slow as you if I tried. - Taz 'Rat' Finch

Zaakmaal

Thank you, I did get a haircut. Thanks for noticing. :-)

Your hair is....
Well, your earnings are...
The blouse is...

Isn't the weather just beautiful today?

CascataNerina

What? No!  YOU"RE the one that was supposed to do it!

MrDiamondBackJack

F*&$ you, you untalented, ungrateful, stuck up, son of a bitch.

"It's good to see me, isn't it? No need to answer.  That was retorical."- Glinda (Wicked)

MrDiamondBackJack

Some day I am going to come in here with a shotgun and blow your head off.

(sorry... not a fun day at work today)

"It's good to see me, isn't it? No need to answer.  That was retorical."- Glinda (Wicked)

MasterMischief

Quote from: MrDiamondBackJack on September 25, 2010, 02:08:24 AM
Some day I am going to come in here with a shotgun and blow your head off.

(sorry... not a fun day at work today)

Sorry to hear that, DBJ.  Here's to the look on your boss' face if you pointed two barrels at his ungrateful, untalented ass.

MrDiamondBackJack

What to saw when it looks like my boss is about to punctuate one of his points with an index finger to my biceps... (yup... he has actually done this once or twice, before we almost came to blows over it).

"You do that, you'd best make peace with your dear and fluffy lord." (Captain Malcolm Renyolds)


"It's good to see me, isn't it? No need to answer.  That was retorical."- Glinda (Wicked)

MasterMischief

Ask him why he keeps hitting on you.   ;D

"Sorry, dude, you're just not my type.  I go for guys with intelligence."

MrDiamondBackJack

Quote from: MasterMischief on September 25, 2010, 06:13:51 PM
Ask him why he keeps hitting on you.   ;D

"Sorry, dude, you're just not my type.  I go for guys with intelligence."

Hell, his wife is the veterinarian, and she pinches sometimes, and I do not mean my ass.  No shit.  There isn't a lot of jobs out there and I have been with them for 8 years now and we get along most of the time, but.....  :P

I should ask him "Should I tell your wife that you have been hitting on me?"

"It's good to see me, isn't it? No need to answer.  That was retorical."- Glinda (Wicked)

Zaakmaal

Oh I'm sorry, I guess you couldn't see me running around trying to accomplish all this meaningless shit while you went off for one of your famous 15min bathroom breaks. Sorry to break it to you, but no matter how much cum you flush down, it wont get pregnant and make a little porcelain baby.

(Bad day at work)

finewine

I'm coming in late because I'm sleeping in.

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"There is always some madness in love,
 but also some reason in madness...
That which is done out of love
takes place beyond good and evil."
 -Friedrich Nietzsche
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MrDiamondBackJack

I dingaling, my dingaling, I want you to play with my dingaling...

"It's good to see me, isn't it? No need to answer.  That was retorical."- Glinda (Wicked)

yuna0417

Me: I can't come in to work today due to anal glaucoma.
Boss: What's that?
Me: I don't see my ass coming to work today.

TheLegionary

Could you not speak about things you do not know a shit?

doom29169

Can't we just take this up when mom comes over for lunch?

(One of my bosses is my Brother - this would be for the other to whom I am not related)

MrDiamondBackJack

You are much more attractive when your mouth is shut.

"It's good to see me, isn't it? No need to answer.  That was retorical."- Glinda (Wicked)

doom29169

Your much more attractive when your on your knees to your own bosses.

MrDiamondBackJack

Like Oh My God!  Did you see what Snookie did last night on Jersey Shore?  (My boss is an older Asian gentleman with no sense of humor or appreciation for crappy American television.)

"It's good to see me, isn't it? No need to answer.  That was retorical."- Glinda (Wicked)

FlaminGlory

Hay is for horses, grass is for cows and what are for pigs like you?

Cyra

When I had pneumonia in 2007, I was a line cook for a local Applebee's restaurant.  Well, anyone who's had pneumonia knows that you need bed rest-not cooking in a stressful environment.  Anyhow, my manager was a real ass and said that if I didn't come in to work, he would fire me.  I politely told him to f*$@ off and go to hell.  I should have gone to work and called OSHA...either way, I still lost my job.
Silver lining to that gray cloud-I enrolled in college after taking a year off from life and will graduate in march :D

darkninja0200


Scribe08

FYI.. Your daughter talks in her sleep.

Endorphin

Do you think it will matter if I have a criminal record?
"The imagination is the spur of delights... all depends upon it, it is the mainspring of everything; now, is it not by means of the imagination one knows joy? Is it not of the imagination that the sharpest pleasures arise?" - Marquis de Sade


TheLegionary


Autumn52

I think you are wearing your wifes jacket
May light guide you through your turmoil and may darkness never cross your path.

White Light be upon you if that is your wish