1001 Things not to say to your Boss

[Kiari03]

Your wife told me to give you back your balls. You've earned them.

[Autumn52]

The comb over is not working

[lenka]

"Go F**k Yourself Mother F***er!"

Sorry...tried to keep it clean!...would love to say that to my boss!

[Kiari03]

Were you born with that wedged up there? Or does it just come with the job after years of struggling to make it to the top only to be stuck managing...well...us?

[Insanityenviesme]

Hey..Can I borrow your pants? and shirt and suit as well?

[BeaconOfSpirit]

Look, just because YOU wouldn't know common sense if it crawled up your !?* and bore young, doesn't mean I've forgotten mine. If you insist on proceeding with this stupidity, you're doing it solo. - Actual quote to boss after being threatened with being fired if I did not attempt to fish the lighter he dropped into the fry vat out of it. Predictably, the lighter exploded about a minute later. HE lost two fingers. Moron. Then again, he still had a job. I didn't, lol.

[forestgrrl]

screw you, i'm going home!

[Dissonance]

I love this job because you look so much dumber than the other bosses I had before you!

[BeaconOfSpirit]

Do you ever read Dilbert and get a creepy sense of familiarity?

[Villain]

Hello boss, this is how much I hate you:

I hate you more than cancer

I hate you so much that when I compare you to Hitler, he seems to be an all right guy

I hate you so much that I wish that when I throw myself off the top of this building (because I will if you speak to me once more) I hope that I will land on either you, your car or something you value

[Love And Submission]

Why was I late because my car brokedown and I had to ride through the the desert on a horse with no name. Midway through the trip it began to pour and stop because I had to get out of the rain and it feld good to be out of the rain.


After nine hours I let the horse run free  , 'Cause the desert had turned to sea. There were plants and birds and rocks and things  and there was sand and hills and rings and then I just got here.


By the way did you know The ocean is a desert with it's life underground  And a perfect disguise above  and  that under the cities lies a heart made of ground  But the humans will give no love?

[blue rose]

Uhm yes. Those are my panties.

[Keaira]

Where are my clothes?

Now that's a good question but I think you should ask your brother. Just make the wife isn't around. Oh and would you mind asking him to drop my dress off for me? Tell him he can keep my panties as a souvenier though!

[Endorphin]

"I really didn't want to talk to that customer, so I put her on hold and went to lunch. The meals at that place are so good!"

[DGblitz]

...Well you know, if scheduling was handled a bit better, and someone else was working this department too, I could of called off sick today.

Reply I wished I could give, upon my boss asking why I came to work sick today.

[Keaira]

(I have that same problem but they never seem to listen to me)$


"You know what? Just shut up, stop pretending to know what you're talking about, and go back into your office so that i can go back to doing both our jobs. Run along now!" *waits until he is our of ear shot* "I don't get paid enough for this."

[Endorphin]

"You want what? You gotta be f@#kin' kidding!"

[Autumn52]

Go sit down, answer the phones and leave me alone while I do your job.

[idiotisjolly]

Casual friday is the same as Casual sex friday right?

[Iniquitous]

You do realize that I was the one dressed as the dominatrix at the Halloween party yes?

[Kimbersqk]

I delegate you to do your own work and not bother me. I have enough to do without your work added.

[evaa]

I think you have forgotten to zip your pants and there are still stains from your pees....

[Drow Denizen]

"I'd call you a cunt, but you lack both the depth and the warmth."

[BeaconOfSpirit]

WOW, Drow... I am SOOO stealing that line. That's bad... I love it.

"It would probably be easier to hear me if you pulled your head out of your ass for a moment."

[Villain]

"THIS IS SPARTA!!!"