Breakup with the person above you!

[Sebile]

You're damn right I want to complain!  I only stuck to my guns on the towel thing because I knew you wanted to stay home and just hang out in your panties.  You had that tone in your voice and everything!  But NoooOOOOooo.  Somehow it's my fault that I could read your mood and actually tried to give you an out.  Even when you were all, "It's so cold out, we'll have to bundle up" and "Man, this really is a comfortable towel, it's a shame we'll have to get up and go somewhere."

I even made sure I was just a touch scruffy, so it accentuated that jawline you were drooling over!  But sure, blame me for just wanting to spend time with you, snuggled on the couch, in nothing but a towel for me and panties for you.  Gah!

Yes, for us to go out to add some excitement, hence the tone. We've already watched all five seasons of TWD in a weekend! We weren't even really watching-- Stop distracting me with the jawline, Kaz!

Look I get you don't like the feel of pants, the whole chafing thing is understandable but it's just this once! Where's your sense of adventure?

[Kazyth]

Yes, for us to go out to add some excitement, hence the tone. We've already watched all five seasons of TWD in a weekend! We weren't even really watching-- Stop distracting me with the jawline, Kaz!

Look I get you don't like the feel of pants, the whole chafing thing is understandable but it's just this once! Where's your sense of adventure?

Add some excitement?  The last time we went out you dragged me to Bed, Bath, and Beyond!  I get that I got a new towel out of it, but you spent most of the time looking at scented soaps and bathroom organizers!

How exactly was that supposed to 'add excitement'?  You wouldn't even let me use the soaps!  You said they were 'decorative' or something, which makes no sense.

Besides, my good kilt is at the cleaners, after the whole 'Honey and Chocolate' incident.  I tried to make plans for tomorrow, but no.  It had to be tonight, or nothing.

My perfectly masculine jaw and I won't be given ultimatums!

[Sebile]

Add some excitement?  The last time we went out you dragged me to Bed, Bath, and Beyond!  I get that I got a new towel out of it, but you spent most of the time looking at scented soaps and bathroom organizers!

How exactly was that supposed to 'add excitement'?  You wouldn't even let me use the soaps!  You said they were 'decorative' or something, which makes no sense.

Besides, my good kilt is at the cleaners, after the whole 'Honey and Chocolate' incident.  I tried to make plans for tomorrow, but no.  It had to be tonight, or nothing.

My perfectly masculine jaw and I won't be given ultimatums!

Because all you had was a toothbrush and that Walmart brand of three-in-one soap! And they were candles! CANDLES! Of course, they are decorative...

They are supposed to-- If you wanted to use them, then by all means!

How do you only have ONE kilt and towels?! You have a whole drawer full of pants... 

Ohhh yeah? Don't think I didn't notice that look you gave to a certain bunny at the party.  You only swerved because of her bald boy toy waving about his gun. You know what, it's fine. I'll wear the pants in this relationship.

[Kazyth]

Because all you had was a toothbrush and that Walmart brand of three-in-one soap! And they were candles! CANDLES! Of course, they are decorative...

They are supposed to-- If you wanted to use them, then by all means!

How do you only have ONE kilt and towels?! You have a whole drawer full of pants... 

Ohhh yeah? Don't think I didn't notice that look you gave to a certain bunny at the party.  You only swerved because of her bald boy toy waving about his gun. You know what, it's fine. I'll wear the pants in this relationship.

That's all I needed!  If you wanted your own toiletries there, you just had to bring some!  It's not like I don't have room in my cabinet or anything.

And don't you EVEN try that whole 'of course they are decorative'!  You didn't even ask me if I wanted candles around that we're not even supposed to burn.  Who does that?  You slapped my hand when I tried to touch one!  But oh, sure, 'by all means'.  As if.

I have more kilts, but if we were going out for a night on the town, I wanted my favorite one!  Not pants, not one of my everyday kilts, I wanted to really look good and do it up style for you.  Not that you every appreciate it.

As to the bunny, yeah I gave her a look.  But you sitting there and trying to act like you weren't oggling the boyfriend and his gun at the same time.  We BOTH like checking out attractive people, don't go trying to pretend like you don't just so you can win this.  Also don't bother claiming to wear the pants, because you never do.  At best you wear the skirt, and even then you argue with me about what's appropriate for fine dining, when you know going in just your panties and a collar will get us kicked out!

[Sebile]

That's all I needed!  If you wanted your own toiletries there, you just had to bring some!  It's not like I don't have room in my cabinet or anything.

And don't you EVEN try that whole 'of course they are decorative'!  You didn't even ask me if I wanted candles around that we're not even supposed to burn.  Who does that?  You slapped my hand when I tried to touch one!  But oh, sure, 'by all means'.  As if.

I have more kilts, but if we were going out for a night on the town, I wanted my favorite one!  Not pants, not one of my everyday kilts, I wanted to really look good and do it up style for you.  Not that you every appreciate it.

As to the bunny, yeah I gave her a look.  But you sitting there and trying to act like you weren't oggling the boyfriend and his gun at the same time.  We BOTH like checking out attractive people, don't go trying to pretend like you don't just so you can win this.  Also don't bother claiming to wear the pants, because you never do.  At best you wear the skirt, and even then you argue with me about what's appropriate for fine dining, when you know going in just your panties and a collar will get us kicked out!

(I'm in tears)

Well, those ones go into a wax burner. No need to burn them... It was hot wax! I didn't want you to burn yourself.

....

Look good? You could pull off a brown paper bag and still look good. Don't give me this crap and-- excuse me?! I say it all the time!


He had a gun, Kaz! A GUN! It wasn't attraction, it was 'MAYBE WE SHOULD LEAVE ASAP BEFORE WE DIE'... also he had a very shiny head that caught the light a certain way... POINT IS I WASN'T CHECKING HIM OUT! But sure, it's my fault for wanting to leave when there's a Hitman there. Yeah, okay. Pfttt... You ripped all my leggings or else I'd wear those-- That was a joke! A JOKE! Clearly, they wouldn't even let us in!

[Kazyth]

(I'm in tears)

Well, those ones go into a wax burner. No need to burn them... It was hot wax! I didn't want you to burn yourself.

....

Look good? You could pull off a brown paper bag and still look good. Don't give me this crap and-- excuse me?! I say it all the time!


He had a gun, Kaz! A GUN! It wasn't attraction, it was 'MAYBE WE SHOULD LEAVE ASAP BEFORE WE DIE'... also he had a very shiny head that caught the light a certain way... POINT IS I WASN'T CHECKING HIM OUT! But sure, it's my fault for wanting to leave when there's a Hitman there. Yeah, okay. Pfttt... You ripped all my leggings or else I'd wear those-- That was a joke! A JOKE! Clearly, they wouldn't even let us in!

(Haha, agreed!)

Wax burner?  Why did we get a wax burner?  When did we get one?  Why not just have regular candles?

See, you do that all the time, just decide things need to be different because you saw something on House Hunters or whatever.  And I'd be fine if you just told me!  But you never do, you just go get stuff and assume I'll be fine with it.  Like the throw pillows.  I'll say again, throw pillows.  The couch does not need throw pillows.

No you don't say it all the time!  You look at me the same way if I'm just sitting there stroking my chin, or if I've thrown on my nice kilt and shirt.  A guy likes to feel like the effort made is appreciated, and not just in the bedroom!

Oh no.  No no no.  Do not try to act like you weren't totally into that gun and the bald head.  I was ready to go well before you were, but you wanted to stay and keep looking "In case we have to tell the police", as though you've ever been that civic minded before.

Oh, I ripped your leggings did I?  ... come to think of it, yes I did.  But you didn't complain about that when it was happening!  I don't remember 'stop' or 'no' or even 'these are my last pair' coming out of your mouth for any of it.  Nor did you seem mad at the time when we ended up having DoorDash bring us food instead of going out.  Especially after the look that delivery guy gave us.

[Sebile]

(Haha, agreed!)

Wax burner?  Why did we get a wax burner?  When did we get one?  Why not just have regular candles?

See, you do that all the time, just decide things need to be different because you saw something on House Hunters or whatever.  And I'd be fine if you just told me!  But you never do, you just go get stuff and assume I'll be fine with it.  Like the throw pillows.  I'll say again, throw pillows.  The couch does not need throw pillows.

No you don't say it all the time!  You look at me the same way if I'm just sitting there stroking my chin, or if I've thrown on my nice kilt and shirt.  A guy likes to feel like the effort made is appreciated, and not just in the bedroom!

Oh no.  No no no.  Do not try to act like you weren't totally into that gun and the bald head.  I was ready to go well before you were, but you wanted to stay and keep looking "In case we have to tell the police", as though you've ever been that civic minded before.

Oh, I ripped your leggings did I?  ... come to think of it, yes I did.  But you didn't complain about that when it was happening!  I don't remember 'stop' or 'no' or even 'these are my last pair' coming out of your mouth for any of it.  Nor did you seem mad at the time when we ended up having DoorDash bring us food instead of going out.  Especially after the look that delivery guy gave us.

So it smells good without worrying about a candle burning the place to the ground? Logic.

You are using a throw pillow right now! How can you say we don't need them, and I thought it would be nice for when you fall asleep on the couch after work but oh no~ who needs them?! I try to do nice things for you all the time! What do I get out of it? This! And maybe, just maybe, I want the place to look nice too!

Well... you are right, maybe I should say it more often. I like you regardless of what you wear or lack thereof, so bite me if I don't verbalize it enough. You don't exactly do it either!

Oh for the love of Lazarus, I am not into bald guys, Kaz. I might as well date a bowling ball... Guns? Sure, they look cool in the movies, but a real one?! I was worried! With how things are in the news and that girl looked scared. It's called basic human decency!

Mhmmm. I'm not even complaining about that actually. It was great, in fact, I'd say we could repeat it IF I HAD SOME LEGGINGS.

[Kazyth]

So it smells good without worrying about a candle burning the place to the ground? Logic.

You are using a throw pillow right now! How can you say we don't need them, and I thought it would be nice for when you fall asleep on the couch after work but oh no~ who needs them?! I try to do nice things for you all the time! What do I get out of it? This! And maybe, just maybe, I want the place to look nice too!

Well... you are right, maybe I should say it more often. I like you regardless of what you wear or lack thereof, so bite me if I don't verbalize it enough. You don't exactly do it either!

Oh for the love of Lazarus, I am not into bald guys, Kaz. I might as well date a bowling ball... Guns? Sure, they look cool in the movies, but a real one?! I was worried! With how things are in the news and that girl looked scared. It's called basic human decency!

Mhmmm. I'm not even complaining about that actually. It was great, in fact, I'd say we could repeat it IF I HAD SOME LEGGINGS.

They have Glade Plug-Ins, Incense, those little twist air fresheners... all sorts of other things that could do the same job, for cheaper!  So no, not logic, just you once more spending money on something you want just because.  Followed by your continual attempts to justify it.

And I'm not using a throw pillow right now!  There's one between me and the arm of the couch, that's it!  And it's only there because you get annoyed when I move them anywhere.  Even the back of the couch!  And heaven forbid I should put one on the floor for even a moment.  *sighs*  I do appreciate what you try to do for me, but you always seem to be doing it for some vision of a me that I am not!  I don't care for wax burners or throw pillows.  Make me some bacon, snuggle with me, and I am a happy guy!  It's not my fault your Amazon Wish List is three pages long, single-spaced!  Even when I get you something from the heart, if it's not from your Wish List, it's not what you wanted.  I don't get that!

Look.  Look, I don't mind the place looking nicer, just try to work with me on -how- you try to make it look nicer.  You never ask, my offers of help are waved off, and I feel very cut out of it!

... you are right though, I'm not any better than you are at verbalizing things an going out of my way to let you know I appreciate it when you get dolled up.  I can admit that.

You never said you weren't into bald guys!  How would I know?  Just because I have an amazing and thick head of hair doesn't mean that you didn't secretly wish I would shave it off!  And you'll have to pardon me for noting that apparently your "I'm terrified of guns and fearful for that girl" look apparently looks a hell of a lot like your "I wonder what he looks like in just a towel" look.  If you had said something about him, really let me know, we could have gotten the girl out of there.  But your human decency apparently took a back seat to getting out of there without getting shot!

As to the leggings, I offered to buy more!  I can do it right now, I can go order some on Amazon, and get another formal kilt.  Would that make you happy?  Or are you walking out that door?

[Sebile]

They have Glade Plug-Ins, Incense, those little twist air fresheners... all sorts of other things that could do the same job, for cheaper!  So no, not logic, just you once more spending money on something you want just because.  Followed by your continual attempts to justify it.

And I'm not using a throw pillow right now!  There's one between me and the arm of the couch, that's it!  And it's only there because you get annoyed when I move them anywhere.  Even the back of the couch!  And heaven forbid I should put one on the floor for even a moment.  *sighs*  I do appreciate what you try to do for me, but you always seem to be doing it for some vision of a me that I am not!  I don't care for wax burners or throw pillows.  Make me some bacon, snuggle with me, and I am a happy guy!  It's not my fault your Amazon Wish List is three pages long, single-spaced!  Even when I get you something from the heart, if it's not from your Wish List, it's not what you wanted.  I don't get that!

Look.  Look, I don't mind the place looking nicer, just try to work with me on -how- you try to make it look nicer.  You never ask, my offers of help are waved off, and I feel very cut out of it!

... you are right though, I'm not any better than you are at verbalizing things an going out of my way to let you know I appreciate it when you get dolled up.  I can admit that.

You never said you weren't into bald guys!  How would I know?  Just because I have an amazing and thick head of hair doesn't mean that you didn't secretly wish I would shave it off!  And you'll have to pardon me for noting that apparently your "I'm terrified of guns and fearful for that girl" look apparently looks a hell of a lot like your "I wonder what he looks like in just a towel" look.  If you had said something about him, really let me know, we could have gotten the girl out of there.  But your human decency apparently took a back seat to getting out of there without getting shot!

As to the leggings, I offered to buy more!  I can do it right now, I can go order some on Amazon, and get another formal kilt.  Would that make you happy?  Or are you walking out that door?

You know I lost my grandma to those stupid plugins! So never again. Besides, it was a gift from one of your admirers. I just happened to buy the wax... God! Why do you always do this!?! I work, shouldn't I be able to at least spend some money on things we can enjoy?! You weren't complaining about spending 35 dollars for each towel! Though they are the softest I've ever felt....

What are you even talking about?! We had one on the floor last night! *crosses arms* A tattoo gun is not from the heart, Kaz. Making something is from the heart! Those are books, which you read also, and some of them are yours too; that's our wishlist.

... Fine.

Thank you.

There is definitely a clear distinction between the two! Besides, I already know what's under it. Maybe you should ask what I like? *gives him that look* Next time I'll write it on my chest so you get the memo! And she ran off. There wasn't much else to be done.

It will take two days to get here, or whenever Amazon gets its crap together... but fine. You can even pick them out, as a show of good faith in your decision making. Walking out? Pfftttt no. I was venting due to boredom, I never said anything about walking out.

[TheHighwayHitman]

(This makes me giggle)

But you told md you liked my gun... and my shiny bald head.

That's it. You're too much drama and too high maintenance for me. We're done. That guy with the towel can have you.

[CaptainErotica]

You say that your gun has a longer barrel to make it more accurate, but I know the truth. You carry a big gun, because you are overcompensating for something. I don't think I need to spell out what that something is. You know, I know and now the world knows. I need a higher caliber partner in my life, not some bald headed gangster wansbee who shoots blanks. In  case your IQ score is smaller than the number of hairs on that bald head of your, let me put it bluntly. You and me are through.

[TheHighwayHitman]

Of course I have to overcompensate! Look at those pecks! And those pythons! What are they? 32 inches? Genetically engineered or not, that's just not something I'm gonna let get close to me. It would be a failure on every tactical level. Call me a wimp. Call me stupid for moving on. I'm not the one wearing a ball gag behind a gimp mask.

Besides. I prefer women. Just ask the two timing hussy above you.

[blue bunny sparkle]

So... I know you're hot and all. That suit. That gun. The serious glare.

But dude, can we play a different game before we make love? I'm really tired of the Mobster/Fem Fatale game.

We could play Teacher and student. We could play Hot Football Player and Cheerleader. We could play Postman and sexy homemaker. Or Mikey and Minnie Mouse. You know how fun it is when we talk sexy in those high pitched voices!

No?

Well damn. *sheds tear* I'm leaving you then... for someone who likes to dress up in colorful costumes!

[CaptainErotica]

You said you wanted colorful costumes, so I traded my trademark outfit for red and blue spandex. but, then you said i looked too much like Superman...B***H please, I break Clark Kent like Bane broke Batman's back.  I thought you wanted to be my Damsel in Distress, instead you just wanted to use me and my super powers to get back at your exes. Well I'm nobodies lackey. We're through.

[blue bunny sparkle]

I'm just a little Bunny, and you're this big, muscle bound guy.

I like colorful. I like wild. I like spur of the moment fun times.

I can't always play by the rules. I can't always call you Captain. It makes me think I should salute you.

Though, I've always liked when you saluted me, in that special way of yours...

But really. This just isn't working out.

[Autumn52]

Bunny bunny bunny.....Why do you looks so adorable? I am afraid I just don't deserve you and I know you will find Mister Bunny and the two of you will kill the cuteness scene. I wish I was as adorable as you but alas I am just a little puppy and have much to learn. Fair the well my lady. Fair the well....

[Livrainbows]

Sadly this form of puppy love is illegal in most places

[Kazyth]

Look.  I like bondage, I like it a lot!

And I like that you like it as well.  But EVERY holiday, weekend, night in seems to be an excuse for you to tie yourself up and leave yourself like a present for me.

I'm not tired of it per-se, but we can't even kiss anymore unless I put you in handcuffs first.  Sometimes a guy just wants to make out without all of the... props.

I'll be by to let you out of your restraints for Christmas, but I wouldn't suggest doing this again until you find someone new to free you.

[blue bunny sparkle]

Kazyth. Kazyth. Kazyth.

I thought you liked bondage? I thought bondage was our very best friend?

You never complained when I tied you up in leather and metal and the 5 point harness system and tortured you for hours.

Does this mean you've gone to the light side of things? Say it isn't so! *cries*

It's over! I don't need anything, except for this ballgag. And.. this riding crop. I don't need anything else, you keep it! I'm only taking the ballgag and the riding crop. Just that. And the strap-on... nothing else! Except...

[Boatman]

Bunny... oh, my lovely cuddly true home...
You said you wanted me to use the strap-on extension with you, because you liked its luminescent pink colour, the built in vibrator, and the cute fluffy Velcro on balls.
Miffed now!

I just can't keep up with your moods.
It's over... again!

[blue bunny sparkle]

Wait.

You wanted to use the strap-on, on me?

I thought we were using it on you...

And I was all excited too.

*pouts*

It's over... again. Again.

[TheHighwayHitman]

See Bunny. All these toys. All that bondage junk. All this extra thinking? Sometimes a guy just needs to keep it simple, get the jollies, and then go to work. It isn't fun when its all work. I thought you liked fun. But no. Nope. I guess not. So ciao!

[Goldengun]

TheHighwayHitman,  I'm breaking up with you. We're not compatible, I can't take all of the used gloves and black suits anymore, surely assassins can wear other colours? Grey? Blue? Hell, even dark green (though I understand you not choosing this), there's more to life than just black, my life needs colour dammit... and less homicide, even if the money is decent... I've asked so many times but you still wont change so I'm afraid it's time for me to leave, it's not me it's most definitely you! And by the way, I faked every orgasm!

[blue bunny sparkle]

You faked your org....! What? What is this?

Was it because I wouldn't dress up in the gold flaked body paint? Or wear the gold sequined corset and matching 70's heels? (Okay, they were really HOT)

But your parents were coming over for dinner and it seemed a little, dare I say it... flashy?

Our wardrobes are not compatible, so I don't think this is going to work honey.

I'm out!

[Shekinah]

Ooooh sweet blue Bunny Sparkle

In the beginning I was so happy when you offered me your cupcakes and they were so tasty that I said I could eat them every day.
How was I to know that you would take that literally.
I'm leaving you because I'm sick of your cupcakes. I want to eat a muffin or a scone from time to time.

goodbye
Sheki