I was mugged today.

[Ajoxer]

And more than anything... it makes me feel very, very angry. I live in NYC, I've taken to walking home from school. This fucker comes up to me on the street, asking for change for the bus, I give him everything I have- 95 cents- he quietly threatens violence, one hand hidden, if I don't give him my cash, I show him I've got fuck all, and I walk along quietly as he does the same in the opposite direction.

Three things that piss me the fuck off over this:
I froze. I was paralyzed by fear of danger, and I let myself be victimized, though not in any major way, because I'd already given him all the cash I had.
If I hadn't frozen, if I had some way to defend myself as well- A knife would be nice, as I have no idea what he had.
The fact that I had a decent nature is what led me into this. If I'd just brushed him off, it would be a lot harder for him to mug me.

Gah. This pisses me off more than anything, because I feel weak now. Fuck, fucking fuck-faced asshole...

[Jefepato]

You shouldn't feel weak.  It's normal to freeze up in a dangerous situation.

But you probably shouldn't give money to random people either.

[Ajoxer]

Mmmm. It pisses me the fuck off because I've actually been in that situation- Needing money for a train- before.

[Swedish Steel]

Ehm. I think you'll find when you think about it for awhile that you did the right thing anyway. Why resist? You'll just endanger yourself, and for what? Material things, it's not worth it, friend.
I was once robbed, or rather, the car I drove was broken into while I made a delivery. I transported medicine to some psyciatric clinics, metadon for example, pretty sought after stuff. When I get back out I see two asses that have broken into my car and made it off with most of the drugs, they were just on their way back to get the last of it. When they see me, they turn and run. What do I do? I chase after them like a fool, so pissed you wouldn't believe. Pure testosterone. What could I have done if I've catched them? Fuck all is what. There were two of them, they could have kicked my ass without even trying. I also later found out that at least one of them had a gun, so I was real damn lucky they managed to jump into their car and get out of there just as I caught up with them. I feel so damned stupid now, but back then I didn't think, I just reacted. Anyway, got a good look on their plate and the cops got them a few minutes later. That's all you should do really. Hang back, let them take what they want, try to remember the important stuff and call the cops.
Seriously, it's never worth it. Your life is what's important, nothing else.

[Ajoxer]

Where do you live, out of curiosity? To be honest, if I told the cops, I'd never get squat. Chances are good they never even would have left the precinct, because tracking a mugging is jack shit.

I'm just fucking lucky he didn't try to take my laptop bag or anything, because that would've fucked me over but good.

And the problem is, if I let him get away with that, I give a victory to all the shit in the world. Every time something like that happens, the whole world loses a bit of the shine.

[Swedish Steel]

I live in Sweden, me. Generally a safe place to live, but I guess you could say I had a high risk job there for awhile.
I can understand your feelings, but I'd rather be alive a few bucks poorer than lying on the pavement with a knife in my gut, still clinging to my possesions.

[Ajoxer]

My problem is... If I let this go, it feels like I've let life take me a bit farther. Symbolically, it's about every idiotic human-rights violating action the US has taken in the last few years, it's about every corrupt action, every military dictatorship, every time where people preferred not to let things change for fear they might be worse, and letting them degenerate.

But I think too much, perhaps...

Also, yeah, Sweden... I wouldn't be too surprised if justice was more likely to be served there- Here... Well, crime is down about ninety percent since the eighties, but things still aint great.

[Natalie C. Barney]

I was attempted mugged by some punk and he didn't realize I was a martial artist, a good one and kicked his acid head butte. He had a knife and nowdays I assume even IF I handed him the money and such I had he would hurt me. Or my long tiime companion. So I kicked him in the balls then dislocated his arm he was holding the knife with. I can get being a criminal but too many will hurt or kill you if you do what your told instead of taking the money and leaving.

I study Chin-Na a Chinese martial art were one learns to break bones, dislocate joints and generally use less force to disable and if necessary kill a stronger opponent. Plus the mandatory kicking, punching and other more forceful attacks. I could have killed the bastard I was trained though to use just enough force to stop the attacker.

Sure I was scared but I was fighting for my life and my lover- and no one threatens my girl.

[Ajoxer]

I must admit, if somebody I had cared about had been there, instead of just me walking by my lonesome, I hope I would not have frozen.

[Swedish Steel]

Well, if you go up against a guy with a knife and don't get stabbed, you are either very lucky, or the guy didn't know what he was doing, probably a bit of both. I would recomend running away as the best way to survive a knife fight, even if you are a martial artist. Don't even think about doing some fancy move and disarming him like in a Steven Segal movie, it's just not gonna happen. I'm glad you escaped this knife fight of yours with your life, Natalie.

[Ajoxer]

The thing about it is, a guy with an illegal knife or gun or something like that is not going to be particularly well-trained with it- The point is more to be able to cow the victim into submission. It's a tricky question which response works better, as if you give them the advantage, they could very well decide to stab you. It depends, also, on who starts things- If somebody is mugging you, it IS rather different from stealing from a car. They're hoping not to get caught, to avoid conflict alltogether. If somebody mugs you, they're more aggressive, more likely to be desperate, and possibly stab you if you don't give them enough.

Might also be a difference in national temperaments.  :P

[Swedish Steel]

The problem is, you don't really need to be trained in the use of a knife, if you know that the pointy end goes into the other guy you are all set to do some damage. Stab stab stab pretty much works, unfortunatly. A knife can be so damn fast, you might be stabbed three times before you even know what is happening. Try it with a friend and a magic marker, you'll see. It's scary.
Yeah, different national temperaments is a part of it I guess, but I still believe avoiding conflict is the best and safest way to go in almost any case.

[Ajoxer]

See, that's the Swedish national spirit. The American national spirit... Well, look at what we've been doing for the last few years. I'm not saying which way is smarter, but...

In Germany, the Nazis first came for the communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a communist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Catholics, but I didn't speak up because I was a protestant.
Then they came for me, and by that time there was no one left to speak for me.

[Swedish Steel]

Well, can't see how that applies to this case, but I'll bite. Sure there are times you need to stand up and fight, I just don't think a mugging is one of them, I need to be a realist about these things. Me, a fairly mediocre fighter vs guy with gun or knife equals dead or injured me.

[Ajoxer]

I suppose it's not so much about what happened this time- The guy got 95 cents, which I'd given him before he threatened me, but what about next time? What if they aren't satisfied with what I've got, what if they stab me on principle? It's about wondering if I could have done anything if things hadn't gone so well. And the reason I connect them is, how much is my life worth to me? Not 95 cents. Is it worth 350 dollars? 100,000 dollars? The safety and well-being of my wife? My freedom of speech? People have a depressing tendency to go down slippery slopes...

[Swedish Steel]

That might be so, I just see myself far more likely to try to protect stuff that really matters, some of it you've touched on already, girlfriend and freedom and that. I'd recomend carrying a throw away wallet, with a few fake credit cards, a couple of bucks, some pictures of people that looks like your family etc. Give that one away and you should be alright. I think, this is after all just speculation.

[Jefepato]

The thing about it is, a guy with an illegal knife or gun or something like that is not going to be particularly well-trained with it- The point is more to be able to cow the victim into submission.

Correction: they don't have to be particularly well-trained with it.

Some guy mugging you on the street could well be an experienced knifefighter, or (more likely) at least competent enough to avoid getting kicked in the balls.  There are any number of thugs out there that are smart enough to realize someone might try to fight back, but too dumb to run away when someone does, and it takes only one slip-up to get stabbed through something vital.

Personally, I feel the correct answer to this sort of problem is not to value anything.  Then you have no worries.

[Swedish Steel]

As you might have guessed, I tend to agree.

[Moondazed]

I worked at a gas station when I was in college and we took our cash bags to the bank every evening.  One night I got out to drop my bag in the night drop and two men in hooded sweatshirts that were pulled down tight so I couldn't see their faces jumped out from behind a shrub and grabbed me and the went after the lady I worked with.  I tried to hold onto my bag instead of just handing it over and the guy grabbed me from the back, arms around me, and all that kept flashing through my head was, "what if he had a knife? Would that have been worth it?"

It was a horrible experience, the bank grilled me for four hours accusing me of knowing them and setting the whole thing up... it was awful.  And I felt so violated.  But the damned money was NOT worth it!  I think this dilemma may be easier for me because I'm female, I don't need to make a virile display of strength, but in the end I realized that it wasn't worth it.  Yes, there are people who break laws and violate rights, but the majority of people are not that way, and after about two months, I managed to get my faith in people back.

Then Bush got elected and I was back at square one *giggle*

[Swedish Steel]

Hehe, I think I like you, Moondazed.  :D

[Moondazed]

Why thank you... likewise :)

[Ajoxer]

Bah, you women and Swedes, with your concept of " sense." It makes me sick!

:P

[Swedish Steel]

Don't be sad, you're still King of the Pumpkin Patch, and that is A-ok in my book.  ;)

[Natalie C. Barney]

You were lucky a man was mugged in the area then shot anyway luckily they lived.

[Moondazed]

*snuggling Ajoxer*  I'm glad that you're alright, that's all I know *kiss*

[Purple]

I've been held up at gunpoint (was a bank teller, guess how long I stayed at THAT job).  I had the same feelings in a lot of ways.  Thankfully the FBI were really helpful and very proud of me as I was able to trick the guy so that we could catch him, and the bank paid for me to see a psych guy.  It will be 6 years ago this July, and I still have nightmares about it.  I did feel violated.  And I felt very weak because after he left and I wrote down his exact description I sat down and balled.  I had been so afraid I wouldn't see my daughters again (they were just 2 1/2 years and 6 months old at the time).

So it does get better after awhile, but it will likely be something you never forget.  My best advice would be to be proactive.  Report it, provide the best description you can recall, and if it makes you feel better learn self-defense or whatever you think you'll need or will make you feel better.  Best of luck to you.

And this is a total aside because I'm terrible prejudiced...move to the country.  :)

[Elvi]

In all the time I spent in London, (during my ill gotten youth where I wandered the streets late at night, by myself), I walked home in the pitch black, through very unsavoury areas and was never mugged or even aproached once.
During the time I travelled many places/countries, by myself, I was never mugged.

When did someone attempt to mug me?
When I was nine months pregnant.
I was walking back from my firends, a street away from home, the only thing I had on me was a pack of cigarettes, with two in and a throw away lighter and my house keys.

When these two blokes aproached me, they threatened to knife me if I didn't give them money.
I held the keys in my fist, with the pointed ends sticking through my fingers, told them what I had on me and asked them if they really thought that them loosing eyes and having chunks torn out of them was worth it, they left very quickly.

The moral here?

Muggers pick easy targets.
If you don't look like a victim, then you won't be.

It wasn't brave what I did, it wasn't stupid either, it is what I do.

I say that I have only been mugged, but that doesn't mean that I don't know what it's like to have a gun/sawn off shot gun rammed in my face, or a knife flashed at me in an effort to intimidate me and I have reacted accordingly.
There is no set rule to what you should and shouldn't do, there should be no shame attatched to what you do when you are faced with that situation.


Ajoxer,
You fell for the oldest trick in the book, as soon as you stopped for him, he had you, whether he had a knife on him or not.

My advice is, don't feel stupid, a coward, or anything other than a person who was mugged.
Learn from your experience, then push it behind you.

*hugs*
 

[Ajoxer]

Heh... I was actually almost certainly capable of taking this guy on in a fist fight, if he didn't actually have a knife or something, being at least half a foot taller and probably weighing something on the order of a hundred pounds more than the guy. He didn't even flash a knife, but at 95 cents, I didn't feel like it was worth shitting myself over.

It's just that my mind goes on to wondering what if the circumstances were different... *shrug.*

[King_Furby]

The prob is you never know who has a gun and who does not. I would react the same way..heck i would just try to remember his/her face so i could submit a police report.

[Mistiq]

Yeah, things like that are why I hardly ever leave my house. Not out of fear, just because I know I'd be an easy target for something like that, a mugging, my lack of balance and all. That's all so why I don't visit my best friend as often as I could. She may still have some very sick men living down the block, as well as two blocks away. I would have just cooperated because it was the only thing I could do...Well I might've maybe...no that wouldn't have been smart at all. Hitting someone with a crutch would do something, but I don't trust myself in that situation. After all, I have had to do that a couple of times with the punks I went to school with. One time though I went to hit this one board and she gapped it and pulled it in a way so that I almost fell on my face.