Dominate vs Dominant

[Artairus Dent]

So, I've never been much of a language hawk.  You know, the kind of person who says 'it isn't comprised of, it is comprises'.

However, one word keeps grabbing me on the boards.

Dominate

Dominate is a verb.  You dominate someone.

However, I'm pretty sure it isn't an adjective.

Yet, I keep seeing threads that read, 'F seeking Dominate M' or something along those lines.

Like I say, I'm not an aggressive grammar cop, but when I see 'seeking Dominate Male' I'm pretty sure it will be someone I'm not keen on playing with.

Just had to vent/talk about.

[Moraline]

It's just a typo/misspell on their part. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

For many, when they pronounce the word "Dominant" they don't make the 2nd "n" sound - so it comes out to them as "dom-i-net" so then end up spelling it with an improper spelling.

[Artairus Dent]

Yeah, it is really prevalent though.  It really seems like it might be sort of morphing into an accepted usage. 

[Beguile's Mistress]

Granted it could be a typo or a result of mispronunciation of a word and not many people even notice or care.  I hope it doesn't become accepted usage, however.

On the other hand it's that apparent lack of concern that can lose a member a good writing partner on the first glance.  There are many who never look beyond the title if it doesn't grab them or if it deflects their interest.

It would be unfortunate to miss out because of that.

[Shjade]

On the other hand it's that apparent lack of concern that can lose a member a good writing partner on the first glance.  There are many who never look beyond the title if it doesn't grab them or if it deflects their interest.

Exactly this. In a chat environment, hey, typos happen and you just kinda have to learn to roll with it if you're spelling-conscious.

On a forum, you post something and it's there forever. That you apparently never bothered to look over your post for errors at any point after the fact and fix it says as much as the typo itself. Particularly the big bold-letters title.

[Torch]

That you apparently never bothered to look over your post for errors at any point after the fact and fix it says as much as the typo itself. Particularly the big bold-letters title.

This.

If an author has such a lack of attention to detail just in a search thread, I can only imagine what may occur in the story itself. If I were searching for a co-author, that kind of sloppiness would turn me right off.

[Naiah]

Maybe they don't know the difference because english isn't their first language?

[Deamonbane]

English isn't my first language, but that sort of hammers home the point that I have to spell correctly... as if I had to prove something... I have noticed similar mistakes like 'you are bias' instead of 'You are Biased', and you just learn to flow with it, and make sure you don't make similar mistakes...

[Saerrael]

English isn't my first language, either. And, I'm sorry, but I see 'mistakes' like these more often in writing of those who's first language is English. Which would make it laziness. Or down right not caring, as has been noted before.

[Naiah]

I don't know if its always laziness, granted it is with some, and you can usually tell as they will have tons of other mistakes, but sometimes it is just a missed spelling mistake. *shrugs* I would be quite upset if I missed one and someone passed me over because of it though :/

[Saerrael]

I don't know if its always laziness, granted it is with some, and you can usually tell as they will have tons of other mistakes, but sometimes it is just a missed spelling mistake. *shrugs* I would be quite upset if I missed one and someone passed me over because of it though :/

True, and good points. But, be honest. Would you leave such a mistake in the title of your advertisement? It's like selling your car and saying it has a perfectly running motar.

[Naiah]

I wouldn't IF I a) saw it and b) knew how to change the title once I had posted the thread :P

[Saerrael]

I wouldn't IF I a) saw it and b) knew how to change the title once I had posted the thread :P

a) proof reading catches a lot of errors. Not sure of something, google it. And that doesn't just go for us non-natives.
b) the modify button on your opening post also makes you able to change your title.

The problems begin at that point in time where people just don't care about proof reading, asking and looking around.

[Naiah]

I can proof read a post three times and still miss something :P But thanks for the tip on the modify! :D

But to be fair, I do find it annoying when people don't even spellcheck, its just the idea of being passed over because you make spelling mistakes that concerns me :(

[Saerrael]

I can proof read a post three times and still miss something :P But thanks for the tip on the modify! :D

But to be fair, I do find it annoying when people don't even spellcheck, its just the idea of being passed over because you make spelling mistakes that concerns me :(

Well, we're all learning. Hell, I'm not saying I'm perfect, I comma-splice like a mad man and only just about scratched the mysterious of 'then' and 'than', but at least I try and it upsets me when I see a native not able to differentiate between 'your' and 'you're', a verb and an adjective and things such as thus. Non-natives can't really hide behind the whole 'well, it's not my first language...' either. Not on an English, literary site. Not if they take themselves seriously.

Oh, good God, I'm babbling. Excuse me. Somewhat of a spelling nazi, here. *coughs*

[Naiah]

*Pushes out a pouty lip* So you would pass me over if I wanted to be a dominate :P

[Saerrael]

Torch puts it very well right here;

If an author has such a lack of attention to detail just in a search thread, I can only imagine what may occur in the story itself. If I were searching for a co-author, that kind of sloppiness would turn me right off.

[Naiah]

But what if it was an honest missed mistake!?  :-[

[Saerrael]

You only have words here to seduce your target, Naiah. Mistakes in words is like wearing your panties over your pants in Real Life.

[Naiah]

Haven't had any complaints so far, and that's WITH spelling mistakes ;)

But honestly, I don't think I would want to RP with someone that was that hellbent on spelling, it would freak me out to no end and have me worrying more about not making any mistakes and not enjoying the RP. I am human, I make mistakes that even proof reading and the spell checker doesn't get.

But I also do not want to RP with someone who never uses the spellchecker and where you have to guess every second word. Meh..

[Kythia]

Meh, neither a prescriptivist nor a descriptivist be. 

I suspect I'm gonna clash with some people but for my point of view so long as I know what is meant it bothers me not.  Now that I sit down and think of it, yeah dominate isn't an adjective.  I think I use it as one in speech - and I am a native English speaker - but this thread has poisoned my mind and I can't say it naturally at the moment.  I've certainly never noticed it and noticed it was wrong in thread titles until this pointed it out to me.  But if everyone knows what is meant then I personally don't mind it.  Common usage is how people use words commonly.

[Moraline]

• Dyslexia  (Varies wildly in degrees of severity)
• English not first language (For some it's very difficult to type in English - Not everyone is so advanced. Some even use translators that mess up all the time.
• Not everyone knows how to change a subject title (on Many forums it's not possible so they don't even think to look here.)
• Simple human error (...because I can pick through most of the posts in this topic and find mistakes in them.)
• Not everyone is as well educated as some others. They maybe remarkably creative people but still make little mistakes because they don't have the education to make up for it. (A word like Dominate doesn't get picked up by spell checkers)

I'm sure many others could come up with things to add to this list.

I don't judge people harshly on simple mistakes. I choose to educate them and assist when necessary. Most of the time I simply overlook it and try to look at the people as a whole while accepting it might have been a single mistake.

This subject just feels harsh to me. People make mistakes. Why the need to pick on them for it?


*EDIT*  PS: I'm dyslexic so this topic often infuriates me on a personal level.

[Endorphin]

If an author has such a lack of attention to detail just in a search thread, I can only imagine what may occur in the story itself. If I were searching for a co-author, that kind of sloppiness would turn me right off.

I think this is a very good point. Someone who is eloquent and expresses things clearly in their writing is more likely convey their view or intention better and, therefore, produce content that is more enjoyable to read. I'm quite forgiving with errors, but I certainly appreciate someone who can express themself in an argument I'm trying to understand or a storyline I want to be deeply immersed in.

[Madriv]

However, one word keeps grabbing me on the boards.

Dominate

I feel your pain, AD. This misuse is bound to turn up anywhere there's a BDSM discussion.

Every time I see it, I picture a dalek in fetish gear. Then at least I get a chuckle.  ;)

[Suiko]

I would let it slide if it's in the main post since it is a word and wouldn't be picked up by a spellcheck,  but in a title I would always make sure that it's right since that's the first thing anyone sees. Its the thing people see first and it needs to draw them in; if there's a mistake right away then it doesn't inspire much confidence.

[Shjade]

But what if it was an honest missed mistake!?  :-[

If someone does it once, hey, mistakes happen. If it's in the title that's worse, but still an honest mistake.

Generally speaking, when someone spells it dominate once, it's spelled that way every time it comes up in their thread. That's not "just a mistake" anymore.

[Moraline]

Every time I see it, I picture a dalek in fetish gear. Then at least I get a chuckle.  ;)

I couldn't resist it.

Dalek

Dalek - EXTERMINATE!

That was soo funny.   ;D

[Nadir]

• Dyslexia  (Varies wildly in degrees of severity)
• English not first language (For some it's very difficult to type in English - Not everyone is so advanced. Some even use translators that mess up all the time.
• Not everyone knows how to change a subject title (on Many forums it's not possible so they don't even think to look here.)
• Simple human error (...because I can pick through most of the posts in this topic and find mistakes in them.)
• Not everyone is as well educated as some others. They maybe remarkably creative people but still make little mistakes because they don't have the education to make up for it. (A word like Dominate doesn't get picked up by spell checkers)

I'm sure many others could come up with things to add to this list.

I don't judge people harshly on simple mistakes. I choose to educate them and assist when necessary. Most of the time I simply overlook it and try to look at the people as a whole while accepting it might have been a single mistake.

This subject just feels harsh to me. People make mistakes. Why the need to pick on them for it?


*EDIT*  PS: I'm dyslexic so this topic often infuriates me on a personal level.

I'm dyslexic too, so sever my teachers believed for my whole academic life I had half the intelligence I actually have, and I do try to keep myself from misusing a word that is subtly different. Actually, because I'm dyslexic, I hold a very high bar for my writing partners. If I have trained myself to be aware of words that look the same but are not, and be vigilant about using the correct one, why can't someone who is not dyslexic have the same respect for their reader/partner? Reading is a difficult enough task for me (I spent five minutes trying to read a book today only to realise I was holding it upside-down >_>) and mistakes like this are not making it any easier.

I am hyper aware of spelling, but I don't demand perfection. I make mistakes, and often. Everyone does. I just think using dyslexia as a defence against something like this is a disservice to those with dyslexia. There are techniques to catch them and it's simple enough to correct them. That being said, I have no idea how "its" and "it's" are different and their correct use, and no matter how many times I research it, I misuse them time and again. *eyetwitch*

[Naiah]

If someone does it once, hey, mistakes happen. If it's in the title that's worse, but still an honest mistake.

Generally speaking, when someone spells it dominate once, it's spelled that way every time it comes up in their thread. That's not "just a mistake" anymore.

Agreed, but just reading that one title, how will you know its the first time or not?

[Endorphin]

You don't know unless you research that user's past writing. It really depends on how conscientious that person is with their titles and how tolerant and diligent you're prepared to be in finding whether that is an anomaly or their usual writing 'pattern'.

That being said, I have no idea how "its" and "it's" are different and their correct use, and no matter how many times I research it, I misuse them time and again. *eyetwitch*

I don't mean to downplay things, but maybe this definition will help: 'it's' is a contraction of 'it is'. Simple as that. You should be able to substitute one for the other without confusing your meaning.

[Torch]

Agreed, but just reading that one title, how will you know its the first time or not?

If the thread has been bumped or added to, it isn't the first time and a mistake in the title is inexcusable, IMO.

[Endorphin]

Torch, remind me not to mess with you. :P

You are absolutely right, though. That kind of thing stands out like the proverbial 'dog's balls' and really should be corrected.

[Naiah]

If the thread has been bumped or added to, it isn't the first time and a mistake in the title is inexcusable, IMO.

Inexcusable? Yikes, glad I dont have any request threads..

[Nadir]

I don't mean to downplay things, but maybe this definition will help: 'it's' is a contraction of 'it is'. Simple as that. You should be able to substitute one for the other without confusing your meaning.

*grins* Thank you

[Moraline]

I'm dyslexic too, so sever my teachers believed for my whole academic life I had half the intelligence I actually have, and I do try to keep myself from misusing a word that is subtly different. Actually, because I'm dyslexic, I hold a very high bar for my writing partners. If I have trained myself to be aware of words that look the same but are not, and be vigilant about using the correct one, why can't someone who is not dyslexic have the same respect for their reader/partner? Reading is a difficult enough task for me (I spent five minutes trying to read a book today only to realise I was holding it upside-down >_>) and mistakes like this are not making it any easier.

I am hyper aware of spelling, but I don't demand perfection. I make mistakes, and often. Everyone does. I just think using dyslexia as a defence against something like this is a disservice to those with dyslexia. There are techniques to catch them and it's simple enough to correct them. That being said, I have no idea how "its" and "it's" are different and their correct use, and no matter how many times I research it, I misuse them time and again. *eyetwitch*

It's not a disservice.

Dyslexics, people with other learning challenges, people that lack education... they all have an enormous variety of differences between them. Just because you can catch your mistake doesn't mean that others can do the same. Dyslexia like all of these things runs a wide range of challenges for people from those that barely notice they have it to those that can't read/write no matter what methods they are taught.

We simply are not all born equal. It upsets me that someone would blow off another person because they made a simply mistake/misuse of a word. By doing that then people might miss a chance to make a great friend and/or an excellent writing partner.

*edit* simply = simple  <--- A mistake that I didn't see after several proof reads but one I caught after posting. It happens.

[Endorphin]

Inexcusable? Yikes, glad I dont have any request threads..

Naiah, it almost sounds like you want to have the opportunity/scope to make those errors. :P

Perhaps the best strategy is to approach things thinking: 'I may not be perfect, but I'll correct any errors I notice and check things I'm unsure about'. That way - even if you aren't a spelling and grammar genius - at least you'll produce the best material you're capable of and nobody can fault you on being lazy. The rest, well, you can learn and adapt along the way.

[Naiah]

By doing that then people might miss a chance to make a great friend and/or an excellent writing partner.

The bitch in me disagrees with that and says "Their loss". Honestly I do my best and if that isn't good enough, they can bite me :P

Naiah, it almost sounds like you want to have the opportunity/scope to make those errors. :P

Perhaps the best strategy is to approach things thinking: 'I may not be perfect, but I'll correct any errors I notice and check things I'm unsure about'. That way - even if you aren't a spelling and grammar genius - at least you'll produce the best material you're capable of and nobody can fault you on being lazy. The rest, well, you can learn and adapt along the way.

Uh no, as just said, I do my best to check, but I am human and things get missed. It isn't even really always about knowing how to spell, I f.ex. have a HORRIBLE time with tenses and I would drive a grammar nazi up the wall with my posts. Doesn't mean my posts suck, just means I need to find partners who can look past that and instead focus on what I wrote and not how I wrote it. *Shrugs* If you are going to pass me by because of how I fail with writing, then bye :P

[kylie]

I feel your pain, AD. This misuse is bound to turn up anywhere there's a BDSM discussion.

Every time I see it, I picture a dalek in fetish gear. Then at least I get a chuckle.  ;)

      Reaches curiously for Google Images: A d-what?  Oh.  Now that is kinda funny.

     Personally, I really can't stand it.  It feels like there's a whole sub-subculture of people running around (including within the US, in native English) firmly believing "dominate" should be used as some kind of magical in-group adjective form.  What icks me more is when some of them insist they are soooo into BDSM and know everything important about "the way" to do it some way or other. 

This may be simply an offshoot of an excess of self-congratulation about D/s interest, which can itself get pretty obnoxiously snotty...  Well, whatever.  It still turns me way off.  I can handle grammar eccentricities and a degree of misspellings if a person can write a story.  This particular pattern, though, just nags me to no end.  Urggh!

 

[Trieste]

I have played with a number of great writers who are poor spellers. It does happen. But a request thread is supposed to be someone's best foot forward. So if it looks something like...

Subject: Dominate male for incest fun
Body: I have a craving to play a daddy who see's his lil girl suddenly as a grown women who has a body and he has needs. PM me or post here!!!

... it makes me think we are not going to match well. I have pet peeves like the rest of the population, and I really just have to acknowledge that proper spelling and grammar help me get into the story. If I have to stop four times a post to try to figure out what they meant, that's just not going to work for me. Period.

Even more so if they are asking for a Domme. Then I start thinking in terms of, "Is this person worth my time?" because honestly, if you're going to make an RP ad that focuses on your own qualities rather than those of a character, I'm going to then judge you on your own qualities.

[gaggedLouise]

It's even a noun; the later Roman empire is sometimes known as the (epoch of the) Dominate among historians. The emperor had clearly become all-powerful (Augustus and some other early emperors tried to play down that side of the situation) and was sometimes seen as divine himself, so he was just the Dominus et Deus (Lord and God). Having said that I feel a bit itched by it too, just as with the infamous nucular. But I'll give some leeway if an RP partner makes some minor spelling and grammar errors but is strongly into the game and a delight to be with.

[mrsjaz]

So then... maybe the right thing to do is to help correct those common spelling and grammar mistakes. I think whether its laziness or not, we could perhaps list all of them as we come across them on site or in RL, then it’s permanently somewhere for people to reference.

It’s like someone else above said, if we look at the spelling in this thread, quite a few come up ( and I am far from great at spelling or grammar) so it should not be about embarrassing anyone. Reading and writing is about learning as well as fun, and those not caring about how they write will still find writing partners.

But I think I have already seen something like this somewhere on E.  :-X 

*starts looking*     

[Beguile's Mistress]

I make mistakes that I don't catch even after proofreading three or four times.  I also have a very easy time reading the writing of others which is odd because I work as a proofreader but I can skim over a badly written post and get the sense of it yet I'll catch the typos in a printed text that paid money for and get quite irritated.

Honest mistakes are something we all are prone to and catching our own mistakes is difficult.  Correcting the mistakes of other writers can be a problem, too, unless great care is taken in the wording of it.

Let me put it this way, a post riddled with poor spelling and grammar, capitalization and punctuations errors and sentence structure that is fragmented all take away from the sense of the story.  Each time you have to stop and think even for a fraction of a second takes you farther away from the story itself.  The shotgun approach to punctuation does it to me.  Commas, hyphens and ellipses have their place and should be used with caution because they all signify a stopping point and when you write good prose you don't want people to stop and think for any reason.  You want them to read and feel.

[Oniya]

I have played with a number of great writers who are poor spellers. It does happen. But a request thread is supposed to be someone's best foot forward. So if it looks something like...

Subject: Dominate male for incest fun
Body: I have a craving to play a daddy who see's his lil girl suddenly as a grown women who has a body and he has needs. PM me or post here!!!

Now, see, if I saw something that said 'Dominate male for incest fun', I would assume that the requester was looking for someone to dominate [a] male for incest fun.  And on that note, I'm going to go help my uUncle jJack off a horse.

[Trieste]

I guess I have been trained out of that assumption! :)

[Gadifriald]

Each time you have to stop and think even for a fraction of a second takes you farther away from the story itself.  The shotgun approach to punctuation does it to me.  Commas, hyphens and ellipses have their place and should be used with caution because they all signify a stopping point and when you write good prose you don't want people to stop and think for any reason.  You want them to read and feel.

*goes looking for stars to hand out* ;D

[gaggedLouise]

And on that note, I'm going to go help my uUncle jJack off a horse.

*recalls the time when she first got to hear Jumpin' Jack Flash and wondered who that guy Jack Flash could be and where he was jumping from...*  ;) (no, English isn't this girl's mother tongue)
t

[Trieste]

Wait, that song isn't about a guy named Jack Flash who happens to be jumping? ???

[gaggedLouise]

Wait, that song isn't about a guy named Jack Flash who happens to be jumping? ???

Got it, Trie!  :D

[Oniya]

Wait, that song isn't about a guy named Jack Flash who happens to be jumping? ???

Richards explained to Rolling Stone in 2010: "The lyrics came from a gray dawn at Redlands. Mick and I had been up all night, it was raining outside, and there was the sound of these boots near the window, belonging to my gardener, Jack Dyer. It woke Mick up. He said, 'What's that?' I said, 'Oh, that's Jack. That's jumping Jack.' I started to work around the phrase on the guitar, which was in open tuning, singing the phrase 'Jumping Jack.' Mick said, 'Flash,' and suddenly we had this phrase with a great rhythm and ring to it." ( http://www.timeisonourside.com/SOJumpin.html )

[gaggedLouise]

Thanks, Oniya - well I read somewhere, many years back, that before it became a song title, JJF was an idiom. And it would have meant roughly "jack-in-the-box, somebody who comes around when you least expect him" - can't find much reference to that at a quick look online though. To anyone born after 1968, Mick is the guy who defines what the phrase is about.

[Oniya]

Ah - I thought you were referring to the rumor that 'Jumpin' Jack Flash' was a means of consuming heroin by way of the tear ducts (which has just as much basis in fact as 'Mellow Yellow' being about smoking banana peels).

[Endorphin]

That sounds nasty... and it reminds me of the time I went skiing and observed a bunch of twits snorting gin from an upturned wine glass and then coughed and spluttered all over the place.

[Oniya]

They were snorting the gin like one snorts cocaine?  Because one can have a 'snort of whiskey', meaning a shot, and that would be the funniest misinterpretation of slang I've seen in a while.

[Cold Heritage]

I am late to the party, but since this usage is so widespread I assumed that it was just my ignorance of jargon.

[ThePrince]

This is one of my pit falls and I've been verbally harassed about it. (Not on E) So in my experience the people my misspellings have turned away where probably not worth playing with.

I don't believe I have dyslexia, I was tested for it when I was a teenager but they said I didn't have it and I don't like to self-diagnose. My problem is that my resource for grammar knowledge is like a full bucket of water. If I want to learn something new like how to use "Your" properly, I have to forget Dominant. Its funny that I can retain other knowledge fairly easy, but in grammar I struggle. Some times I feel like the Ice King, trapped in a labyrinth of my own mind and with no hope of ever escaping.

As difficult as it is having less resources then some of the other writers, you make do. While my spelling is atrocious, I have had the pleasure of role playing with many great writers here and else where who are able to forgive me. So I don't believe it is a big problem.