Breakup with the person above you!

Started by stormkitten, March 09, 2009, 01:45:07 PM

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Cayenne

Dearest Boatman,

Don't worry, your boat is doing fine.  I'm keeping mighty good care of it, as I give people insightful tours of the river styx. You wouldn't believe what the recently deceased people don't know about the afterlife! Of course, there is now a humongous backlog of individuals waiting for safe passage across the waters, but you know what? Being in demand just makes people appreciate you more!

I mean, not to say your method of solemnly, and soundlessly paddling across the river was incredibly boring, but, you obviously didn't have pirate costume wednesdays, and fried fish fridays! Both of which, are very big hits mind you. 

Fret not though, I haven't forgotten about you either! Of course, we're over! You're probably telling yourself that as you attempt to push some giant boulder up a hill while Sisyphus tries for high scores on angry birds.  Regardless, hopefully you're thinking of all the good times we had together while you toil for what you're hoping isn't eternity, but on the bright side, this'll really help build up your shoulders!

Anyway, it's about time for Monster Mash Mondays to start and I haven't gotten my shipment of beer kegs yet! See? You're not the only one having a rough time!

Most Sincerely, Cayenne~

"My mind is not in the gutter, I just happen to have a really good view of it from my high horse"


ONs & OFF

blue bunny sparkle

Dear Cayenne,

When I promised to be the little mermaid to your boat captain, I didn't know you were stationed in freakin' hell! Giving tours no less!

Did you know... the water is unbearably hot! It's makes my little iridescent scales flake off something terrible. And come ON! How many times does a mermaid girl have to be hit on by losers form the underworld? You would think they'd never seen sweet and innocent before! *flashes pearly white smile*

Unless you get a transfer, babe, preferably to somewhere balmy I'm catching the next current outta here.

Bun Bun

Rolo

My dearest Bunny....

It's not you it's me...I am tired of being called a Bunnyfucker....and not unlike sucking on a lollypop and turning your tongue different colors...My penis is blue and sparkly!  The doctor is concerned....


;)

Seduction is merely hypnosis with desire!

-KAI-

Dirty old man in training!
Sneaky Little Bastard!

Boatman

#9603
Quote from: Cayenne on August 21, 2014, 09:42:25 AM
Dearest Boatman,

...Don't worry, your boat is doing fine.  I'm keeping mighty good care of it, as I give people insightful tours of the river styx. ..
Most Sincerely, Cayenne~

Sweet Pepper,

I was leaned on heavily. So much so that the force nearly tipped me out of the boat and ruined my favourite costume. Well actually, my only costume. "We have to give a woman a go. It’s only fair," They said.
Then I found out it was you!
You, who’d frowned at my wardrobe… and what was in it.
You, who had been taking me out to let my hair down.
You, who had reminded me of passion, and lust, and sex... stirring life back into my old…
You, who had encouraged me to apply for something better.
And all the while, you had plans to steal my monopoly market for your new ‘creative ideas’!
“You are not needed any more,” they said. “People out for their last adventure want something more interactive. More fun.”
Oh well, you can keep your sneaky plan and your false affection. I won’t be coming back now even if they pay me in that new virtual money stuff.
We’re through.
I’ve got a better job.
A private ferry service, dressed as Barinthus, ferrying royalty to Avalon, where the nine shape shifting sisters take inventive foreplay to so many new levels I’ve lost count.  And they can keep a party going for eternity.

Your old partner, Boat.

History, where creative writing was born.

Nowherewoman

My beloved old bucket:

It's not you. It's me. I get seasick whenever you take me anyplace. Every time you rock my world, it makes my stomach do loops.

Sorry, I'm sure you'll find the right swabbie to tie the knot with. Somewhere.

-Nowhere.

Instead of obsessing on the person you want to be, focus on who you DON'T want to be. It's much easier to not do certain things than to break your head on some ideal of yourself.

When the dust settles, you may find out you've become who you were supposed to be all along.

more me here now!  (O/Os, ideas and junk): https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=215830.0

and mea culpas  (A/As): https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=221151.0

Boatman

NWW,

Look, you said you wanted adventure, a healthy outdoor life.
But now all you do is complain.
We could have gone anywhere, if you had managed to stay awake in the night watches
And faced any weather the gods could have thrown at us, once you’d shimmied up the mast to reef the sails.
If we had been becalmed, you could have rowed until the topgallants fluttered with a freshening breeze.
And, of course, the nights would have been full of drunken passion, after you’d scrubbed, peeled and chopped the potatoes.
Even a half a percent share of our booty would have been yours.

I offered you riches and the very world any wench would dream of, but actually I don’t think the pirate life is for you.
So I have sorted you out a beautiful deserted island, provisions, a bottle and pen.
Making paper will be easy enough after you’ve dealt with the giant spiders.
I’ll think of you...often.

Captain Boatbeard
History, where creative writing was born.

Dys Astyr

Mr. Boat,

I tried I really did, and you just ran away, and ran and ran... Its not my fault that I express my affect tion through violence... I thought you understood. I mean you even brought a knife...

Guess I was wrong.
Alive! Trying to catch up but there is a lot, please be patient! Thank you. <3

Nowherewoman

Sorry, honey, but you're Syk.  You've got a Syk sense of humor, Syk tastes, and Syk desires. I just can't take it any more. I tried to get down with the Sykness- there was that time in the back of the bus...but...I'm just nowhere that kind of girl!

-NW
Instead of obsessing on the person you want to be, focus on who you DON'T want to be. It's much easier to not do certain things than to break your head on some ideal of yourself.

When the dust settles, you may find out you've become who you were supposed to be all along.

more me here now!  (O/Os, ideas and junk): https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=215830.0

and mea culpas  (A/As): https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=221151.0

Dys Astyr

Where are you when I need you? Nowhere...

So its over, you can keep making all your plans and living in your own little.land but I'm done waiting, I'm done trying yo get you to listen and trying to tell you what your missin'. I can't take it anymore.

Nowhere its no more.
Alive! Trying to catch up but there is a lot, please be patient! Thank you. <3

Boatman

Look, I love your violence.
I love it on the street,
Between the sheets,
When struggling for the TV remote,
When eating breakfast,
Wearing loincloths in the mud pit especially.
But, the clinic tells me I’ve used up all the replacement organs in my clone.
So, sadly I had to leave this note by the bed… to say I’ve gone.
(mechanical coughing noise)
The bedroom curtains are torn open.
(mechanical coughing noise)
Boat looks at the controls… “Hell, why won’t the wretched car start....”
History, where creative writing was born.

Dys Astyr

#9610
Boat,

You broke my car and my heart...

I'm afraid, you really will need more than a knife to get out of this one.
Alive! Trying to catch up but there is a lot, please be patient! Thank you. <3

Dray

As a RedPhoenix you were an exotic pet with fiery passion, but it's time that I move on...and thus I must take back the collar I bestowed upon you and find another whom wishes to be claimed.

Flower

You don't like toys when playing. Not going to work.

Nowherewoman

I won't ask, don't ask me
I won't dance...don't ask me
I won't dance, don't ask me out...

(ever again)...
Instead of obsessing on the person you want to be, focus on who you DON'T want to be. It's much easier to not do certain things than to break your head on some ideal of yourself.

When the dust settles, you may find out you've become who you were supposed to be all along.

more me here now!  (O/Os, ideas and junk): https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=215830.0

and mea culpas  (A/As): https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=221151.0

Boatman

I do like a game of hide and seek, but this is ridiculous.
"Where's my dinner gone? I am sure I was eating it a minute ago."
"Nowhere," she chirps cheerily.
Looks round and the dinner table has vanished.
Goes out into the hallway and the dining room is no more.
"Where's my bl**dy dining room?"
"Te hee, Nowhere."
I needed the loo and looked down to do up my zip.

I didn't write a note. There was no point.
History, where creative writing was born.

Cayenne

Dearest Boats,

This letter isn't for you, you'll be gone long before you get the chance to read it.  Truth be told, our little relationships are just getting in the way of me breaking Blue Bunny's heart. I mean, how am I supposed to devote myself to causing her total infatuation when you're using up all my time trying to tame me with your penis. I honestly think you've been reading too much horrible sex stories off the internet.

I mean, not that I don't enjoy all the attempts and whatnot, or even, completely play along during those periods where you are starting to look like you're losing steam, and nothing gets you going for a second round like "No more, please! I just can't handle it!" and I get all quivery, and weepy and shit!

Anyway, I've decided that you should probably die, I mean, considering you're a god, you'll most likely just get horribly trapped within some, half dead state, and be super fashionable with all the Zombie popularity going around, but  on the bright side, it'll leave me completely open to explore other avenues!

Of course, I realize that even you know that it's my happiness that matters in the end~ Now enjoy your little seemingly inescapable death trap you currently find yourself in!

Not yours, Cayenne~
"My mind is not in the gutter, I just happen to have a really good view of it from my high horse"


ONs & OFF

Nowherewoman

My spicy enchilada:


I didn't mind when you ruined my digestion,  nor when I had that fire down below. But now you insist on gazing into my eyes, and making them water.


It can't go on. I'm sorry.  I must wash you out of my hair. And my nose.  And my ears. And...


*ACHOO*


NW
Instead of obsessing on the person you want to be, focus on who you DON'T want to be. It's much easier to not do certain things than to break your head on some ideal of yourself.

When the dust settles, you may find out you've become who you were supposed to be all along.

more me here now!  (O/Os, ideas and junk): https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=215830.0

and mea culpas  (A/As): https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=221151.0

Boatman

Quote from: Cayenne on August 25, 2014, 02:43:20 PM
Dearest Boats,
...
Of course, I realize that even you know that it's my happiness that matters in the end~ Now enjoy your little seemingly inescapable death trap you currently find yourself in!
...
Not yours, Cayenne~

Dear lost Pepperios Sappho,

I’ve been troubled by what has become of you. And I am sure this all occurred because you banished me to other realms, or perhaps it could have been my fault.

Although stooped and ugly, I somehow managed to get the job as boatman providing a ferry service between Lesbos and mainland Greece. Then one day, as you know, I carried Aphrodite as a passenger and she gave me an ointment which somehow transformed me into the most handsome man in the world.

From then on I had to fight off married and virgin beauties alike. It was a total pain in the neck as you might imagine.
Indeed, what I would have done to relinquish the curse. But then you took a ride in my boat, and despite your attachment to Bluios Bunnios, we fell in indivisibly and passionately in love.

Well, almost indvisibly.
You see, as a man, I have a weakness for female flattery.
I resisted!
Of course I resisted.
Every fibre of me resisted.
But is was not enough.
Sadly, I fell for another woman, yes, yes, your own lover Bluios Bunnios, who I happened to meet whilst in the queue for fish and chips.
It was unquenchable desire inspired by shared ketchup.

I know now that you then climbed, quite distraught, up the steep cliffs to the shrine of Apollo to wave to me.
But when you saw Bunnios and me munching together in near ecstasy, you threw yourself off… completely and utterly splattering yourself on the rocks.

So tragic.
We think of you often.
Quite often.

(After Sappho and Phaon by Ovid)
History, where creative writing was born.

saphireMARIE

Dear Boaty...
I've never been good with anything that floats on water.
And to top it all off you really confuse me with your long winded answers.
We were destined to fail.
Goodbye.
Saphire.

Boatman

Dear Sapphire,

You looked absolutely fantastic as you took the walk, your head held high, your whole flowing curvy shape shouting sex.
But it just doesn't do to try and steal my loot.
Particularly when you get caught.
A final little prod and you slithered, slipped, yelled... and tumbled beautifully off the plank.
Say hi to the sharks sweet one.

Captain Boatbeard
History, where creative writing was born.

blue bunny sparkle

Dear Boatman,

I have followed and followed your ship, swimming after you in my mermaid form, hoping you would notice me. And hoping. And hoping.

Alas! I could not compete with all the other women you flirted with and pilfered...

So, I decided to save the last one you tired of and sent out upon the plank, SapphireMARIE. There are no sharks now, my once darling. There is only me... and the sweet Sapphie too. I will not tell you of the frolicking that transpires beneath
the boards of your ship. But there is indeed turbulence...



saphireMARIE

Hello my sweet,

Unfortunately I must break up with you as the name of the game is so, but know this my dear:
I wish I didn't have too, the lovely savior you are.
Sorry,
Saphire x

blue bunny sparkle

My dearest saphireMAIRE,

I think you wished to break up with my evil, dark soul stealing twin. Didn't you? For I am the kind, and sweetly sweetest one.

Can you not tell us apart? Can you not see the difference between us? Between the fire, the flame, the passion? That one cute little birthmark that I have and she doesn't?

Dang it! SM!

My heart is broken you think I am her! Her heart is raging because you think she is me!

Farewell for ever,
From both of us.


Nowherewoman

My hoppy little bunny girl,
I really got to say:
there's somethin' slightly wrong with you
that makes me run away.


coz' you're bluuuuue...
yeah, real, real blue.


I said you're bluuuuuuue...
Blue blue, blue.


And not only that,
but you sparkle too!




It ain't that you're unlovin'
or I want to be unkind


But that color you got on babe,
really bends mah mind.


Coz' you're bluuuuueee...
real bright blue.


I said you're bluuuuuuueeee...
too damn blue.


And if the color ain't bad enough,
you sparkle, too!
Instead of obsessing on the person you want to be, focus on who you DON'T want to be. It's much easier to not do certain things than to break your head on some ideal of yourself.

When the dust settles, you may find out you've become who you were supposed to be all along.

more me here now!  (O/Os, ideas and junk): https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=215830.0

and mea culpas  (A/As): https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=221151.0

blue bunny sparkle

OMG! *claps hands wildly*

Dear Nowherewoman,

I understand now why we can not stay together. I understand now why it is imperative that we break up.

No, it is not your beautiful voice darling. It is not your beautiful song. Or your beautiful house.

It is this... I think you are really colorblind...  My color is green. I'm pretty sure of that fact.

So until you see the eye doctor.... or come up with a new song, I am afraid I can not see you any more.